CRACK 9T小组第13次作业----holding

holdingUID：2285054

第十三次作业:

writing(Neighborhood):

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

21:15

As the development of our economic level, people can not be satisfied only for avoiding starvation and cold. On the contrary, they may require to more places to spend leisure time as well. Considering the situation of residents' strong requirement and lack of communal entertainment construction, I think we should support to build a new movie theater in our neighborhood, because it could benefit the cultural sphere and improve the economic development of our neighborhood.

In the first place of analysis, building a new movie theater is required by most of our neighbors. Nowadays, many harm "leisure” ways have joined into our life. Children and teenagers are indulging in playing computer games and surfing on line; adults enjoy playing cards, even drop into gamboling. A recently interview points that approximate seventy to eighty percent of residents in our neighborhood consider the way of spending time now is not instructive at all. These imply that a number of new entertainment constructions are necessary and strongly needed.

Secondly, building a new movie theater is the best way to solve the inconsistency between high cultural requirement of people and low level of entertainment construction. On one hand, this plan would not cost too much. And we can afford the theater based on a statistics that the process of building this theater cost less than other kinds of constructions, such as a shopping mall, a park containing most of people, and so on. On the other hand, the new movie theater could satisfy most residents' meets. After finishing this plan, the theater could screen many kinds of movies ranged from art-movie to stories, even concluding cartoons. In this case, almost every one could find his/her favorite style there. Therefore, the problem above could solve without high investment.

What is more, this plan could be improve our economy. As the construction and run of the theater, the place there could become a leisure center of our neighborhood. Chasing economic profit, some merchants could invest there to set up some other service. They can transparently increase our government incoming including tax. Think further after long period of development, there would be a advanced entertainment industry in our neighborhood.

leadenskyUID：2251888

As the development of our economic level(有economic level这个说法吗？并且level不能用develop吧，直接就用economy), people can not be satisfied only for avoiding starvation and cold(这个例子不是很好，starvation有点过头). On the contrary, they may require to(去掉to) more places to spend leisure time as well(as well多余，前面没并列的东西). Considering the situation of residents' strong requirement and lack of communal entertainment construction, I think we should support to build a new movie theater in our neighborhood, because it could benefit the cultural sphere and improve the economic development of our neighborhood.

In the first place of analysis, building a new movie theater is required by most of our neighbors. Nowadays, many harm "leisure” ways have joined into our life. Children and teenagers are indulging in playing computer games and surfing on line; adults enjoy playing cards, even drop into gamboling. A recently interview points that approximate seventy to eighty percent of residents in our neighborhood consider the way of spending time now is not instructive at all. These imply(挑下刺，为什么上面那些例子可以imply这个，也有可能新的entertainment constructions照样没用啊，或者用别非construct方式是不是会更好。是不是有点突然，最好再加几句话) that a number of new entertainment constructions are necessary and strongly needed.

Secondly, building a new movie theater is the best way to solve the inconsistency between high cultural requirement of people and low level of entertainment construction. On (the) one hand, this plan would not cost too much. And we can afford the theater based on a statistics that the process of building this theater cost less than other kinds of constructions, such as a shopping mall, a park containing most of people, and so on. On the other hand, the new movie theater could satisfy most residents' meets(needs). After finishing this plan, the theater could screen many kinds of movies ranged from art-movie to stories, even concluding cartoons. In this case, almost every one could find his/her favorite style there. Therefore, the problem above could be solved without high investment.

What is more, this plan could be improve our economy. As the construction and run of the theater, the place there could become a leisure center of our neighborhood. Chasing economic profit, some merchants could invest there to set up some other service. They can transparently increase our government incoming including tax. Think further after long period of development, there would be a advanced entertainment industry in our neighborhood.

再来个总结性的结尾会吧。

整体结构不错，层次清楚。

有些地方感觉推理不是很合适，可以改进一下

另外，句型变化不多，来点复杂的句型会更好

总的来说21分钟写出来很不错

[ 本帖最后由 leadensky 于 2007-8-10 20:29 编辑 ]