argument128 不小心改成了非典型的，有问题吗？请教这样写会不会有风险？

pinuoUID: 2328081

TOPIC: ARGUMENT128 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Garden City Gazette.

"To address the parking problems in our downtown business district, it has been proposed that the city increase parking capacity by building a four-story parking garage. However, this project would cost more than it would to improve the downtown pedestrian plaza. Because the pedestrian plaza is an important attraction that draws people to the downtown area, improvements to it will increase business for downtown merchants. The merchants' higher profits will ultimately produce increased tax revenues for the city. Therefore, we should invest in the plaza improvements first and then use the revenues thus generated to pay for the construction of the parking garage."
WORDS: 398          TIME: 00:29:38          DATE: 2007-8-23 16:28:12

The author, in the editorial, recommended investing in plaza improvements should be preceeded to paying for construction of the parking garage and use the revenues of plaza to pay for the parking garage's construction because the author believe improvements in pedestrian plaza will invcrease business and benefit the the city for produce increased tax revenues. The recommendation are problematic in several aspects, thus render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author failed to provided how much it will be cost to build a four-story parking garage, and how much to improve the pedestrian plaza. Simply saying that construction of parking garage would cost more than to improve the downtown pedestrian plaza is less convincing. it is highly possible there is no significant differece between the costs in two projects, and the further argumetns thus will be unpersuavisive.

In addition, even assume that the cost in constuciton of parking garage will be far more than invest in plaza, it is rash to draw the conclusion that the money should be spend on the latter. Since which project  should be be selected to invest is far from an simple task just ot consider how much the cost will be. First , which one is urgent? The parking problems is perhaps so serious that it will greatly affect the normal life and work of people in the town. Second, which one will bring more benefit the citizens living in the town. Even the author cited that pedestrian plaza play an cirtical role to draws people to the downtown area, thus the improvements in it will increase business there and the higher profits of merchants will produce more tax revenues for the city . It is still not sure the if the improvement will bring increase business, if the nation are experience an economy depression, as a result no more business will be available. Thus it is unconincing to draw the concusion that invest in plaza will be more beneficial than construction of parking garage .

In sum, to convince me that invest in plaza should have priority over construction parking garage, the author need provide evidence that the later will spend far more than the former. To better assess the recomendation,the author also need to clearly present evidence that the invest in plaz will be more be a better choice compared with construchtion of parking garage in other aspects.

[ 本帖最后由 pinuo 于 2007-8-24 00:40 编辑 ]

pinuoUID: 2328081

不小心把上面的练习习作改成了非典型的，有问题吗？这样写会不会有风险？

下面是改的结果，
1.要求确认两个项目分别要花多少。
2.然后说明决策时要考虑其他因素：
1>紧急程度；
2>带来的好处，在这个因素中批了文中的investing in plaza一定能保证受益的论断。
3.结束。

不是原来的习惯的一步一步批，这样会有问题吗？求指教！！

The author, in the editorial, recommended investing in plaza improvements should be given precedence over paying for construction of the parking garage and use the revenues of plaza to pay for the parking garage's construction because the author believe improvements in pedestrian plaza will increase business and benefit the city for producing increased tax revenues. The recommendation are problematic in several aspects, thus render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author failed to provided how much it will be cost to build a four-story parking garage, and how much to improve the pedestrian plaza. The statement that construction of parking garage would cost more than improvement of the downtown pedestrian plaza is less convincing without making clear the exact cost. It is highly possible there is no significant difference between the costs in two projects, and the further argument thus will be unpersuasive.

In addition, even assume that the cost in construction of parking garage will be far more than invest in plaza, it is rash to draw the conclusion that the money should be spend on the latter. Since which project should be selected to invest is far from a simple task, the following factors--rather than just considering how much the cost will be—should be fully considered.

The first factor, which one is urgent? As the parking problem referred in the recommendation, it is highly possible the parking problem in downtown business district is perhaps so serious that it will greatly affect the normal life and work of people in the town, which made construction of parking garage have the priority over all the others. At least it is common sense that how to live more comfortably is far more urgent, for the citizens, than the improved business service or diverse merchandize.

And the second factor, the problem which one will bring more benefit for the citizens living in the town should be considered. Even the author cited that pedestrian plaza play a critical role to draws people to the downtown area, thus the improvements in it will increase business there and the higher profits of merchants will produce more tax revenues for the city eventually. It is still not sure whether the improvement will bring increase business without providing sufficient evidence. If the nation are experience an economy depression, which result in less working opportunities in the city, it is highly unlikely the improvement in plaza will increase the business as expected. Thus it is unconvincing to predict that invest in plaza will be more beneficial than construction of parking garage.

In sum, to convince me that invest in plaza should have priority over construction parking garage, the author need provide evidence that the later will spend far more than the former, and cost is the first and foremost critical factors to be considered when making a decision what to do for the town To better assess the recommendation, the author also need to clearly present evidence that the invest in pedestrian plaza will be more be a better choice compared with construction of parking garage in other aspects such as which is more urgent and which can bring more benefits.

[ 本帖最后由 pinuo 于 2007-8-24 00:37 编辑 ]