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haomiUID: 2219690

19. When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

As the saying goes man proposed, god deposed, I will probably not agree with opinion that our success only relevant to our hard work, conversely, I would more likely to support the view that elements of success is complex, including hard work, good weather and place, but also a bit of luck.

According to the statistic printed in the book trivial in the world in 2005, there are about 253 excellent physical scientists in America while only 19 in Africa, do you think the big gap between America and Africa is due to the Africa’s scientists are less hard work than American’s, apparently it is not, more stable politic and social environment, more abundant resource, more advanced equipment and better academic atmosphere can be all accounted for this big difference, Therefore, it seems reasonable for me to regard that scientists’ achievement is not only depends on their intelligence, their diligent work, but also their luck, if they are fortunate enough so that they have better atmosphere to concentrate on their experiments and to achieve success.

Another reason why I insist that luck is correlated with our success to some degree is not all gold can glistening, some gold needs talent scouts to uncover them from the underground and wipe earth off so that we can notice of their brightness. This point can be well illustrated by some examples came from entertainment business, one of them is the famous actress Zhang jingchu earned her popularity overnight by the film “peacock”, her success should be greatly related to her luck, because of pre-destiny, she was discovered by the director so that she gained the chance to enter the cast and achieved unprecedented success, on the contrary, most of her fellows still being unknown. The same dramatic things have also happened on some football players, basketball players, and singers.

After seeing enough examples, it is no difficulty for me to draw the conclusion that our success has something with luck, however, luck does not belong to everyone, it is only belongs to the prepared persons.

豆豆～UID: 2378384

As the saying goes man proposed, god deposed, I will probably not agreewith opinion that our success only relevant to our hard work,conversely, I would more likely to support the view that elements ofsuccess is complex, including hard work, good weather and place, butalso a bit of luck.

1. You need use quotation marks when you say "as the saying goes."
2. our success only ==> our success IS only
3. conversely ==> Conversely
Your opening cut right into the topic and presented enough information. What I would add is to write more to introduce the topic.

According to the statistic printed in the book trivial in the world in2005, there are(were) about 253 excellent physical scientists in Americawhile only 19 in Africa,(;) do you think the big gap between America andAfrica is due to the Africa’s scientists are less hard work thanAmerican’s,(?) apparently it is not(Absolutely not.), more stable politic and socialenvironment, more abundant resource, more advanced equipment and betteracademic atmosphere can be all accounted for this big difference,(.)Therefore, it seems reasonable for me to regard that scientists’achievement is not only depends on their intelligence, their diligentwork, but also their luck, if they are fortunate enough so that theyhave better atmosphere to concentrate on their experiments and toachieve success.

Dude, you gotta use periods! There are tons of other punctuation marks other than comma. The other parts are pretty good.

Another reason why I insist that luck is correlated with our success(,) tosome degree(,) is not all gold can glistening, some gold needs talentscouts to uncover them from the underground and wipe earth off so thatwe can notice of their brightness. This point can be well illustratedby some examples came from entertainment business, one of them is thefamous actress Zhang jingchu earned her popularity overnight by thefilm “peacock”, her success should be greatly related to her luck,because of pre-destiny, she was discovered by the director so that shegained the chance to enter the cast and achieved unprecedented success,on the contrary, most of her fellows still being unknown. The samedramatic things have also happened on some football players, basketballplayers, and singers.

GOOD ONE! BUT, still, PERIODS!!!!

After seeing enough examples, it("it" cannot "see". "I" should be the subject.) is no difficulty for me to draw theconclusion that our success has something with luck, however, luck doesnot belong to everyone, it is only belongs to the prepared persons.


ALL IN ALL:

Since I think your ability of writing is relatively good, I didn't change much of the essay. There is nothing left to say except that--STILL, I wanna stress the point that you need to use "PERIODS!!"

An essay like this may earn a score of 4.5~5 out of 5

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TOEFL!! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU AFTER YOU MASTERED THE WAY TO USE PERIODS:-p~