argument170 [spring] 第三次作业

cinda2020UID: 2371432

argument170
For the past five years, shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters, there is a trend that consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeaster Atlantic Coast (NAC) than Gulf Coast (GC) oysters. The speaker said that once consumers are made aware of the increased safety of GC oysters through some special process for killing the bacteria devised by scientists, they are likely to be willing to pay more for it and made greater profits for the producers. However, it is not necessary the case. The argument fails to rule out the other possibility and simply equates the increased safety of GC oysters with the increased profits for GC oyster producers.

First of all, the mere fact that the trend consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for NAC oysters shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw GC oysters is insufficient evidence to conclude that the harmful bacteria are the only attribute necessary to the trend of the willingness to oysters.  While it may true that some people prefer to NAC oysters for the reason that GC oysters were found harmful, this is not true of every one. It is possible that in spite of it’s high price, NAC oysters were found tasty or nutritious than GC oysters by most people gradually. GC oysters were found harmful is probably just a slight influence factor. To do much to increase the safety of GC oysters could not guarantee the result of great profits.

The argument is also weakened by the fact that the reliability of the reliability of the process is not insured. The progress of killing the bacteria of oysters but don’t influence the quality of oysters itself. It is not easy, other wise; it will not influence the GC oysters about five years long that there aren’t any good methods to treat the bacteria. Is the process scientists find now perfect enough? Possibly, it still need long time trial and error to indicate. And who could guarantee that the process don’t bring other problems to GC oysters? Even there is a perfect process to tread the GC oysters, I am afraid that the cost would be too much compare to the unknown profits.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that even if no safety questions there people will spend twice as much as usual for the GC oysters. Price is determined by many things. For example, as it mentioned before, it is possible that NAC oysters is already famous for its delicious meat and abundant nutritious, time prove that it is worthful of its price; so people tend to prefer the relative high price NAC oysters. If that is true, there would be little use to spend much to increase the safety of GC oysters to expect the great profits.

The argument for increase safety of GC oyster to gain great profits is not proper. The author ignores other possible factors. It needs more evidences like, the safety problem are directly influence the oysters’ price; GC oysters are as good as NAC oysters, and there is a effective way to increase the safety of GC oysters etc. Without such evidence, we cannot accept the author’s conclusion.

Thanks！

gloriaguo1986UID: 2232808

Argument 170修改：
　　For the past five years, shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters, there is a trend that consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeaster Atlantic Coast (NAC) than Gulf Coast (GC) oysters. The speaker said that once consumers are made aware of the increased safety of GC oysters through some special process for killing the bacteria devised by scientists, they are likely to be willing to pay more for it and made greater profits for the producers. However, it is not necessarily the case. The argument fails to rule out the other possibility and simply equates the increased safety of GC oysters with the increased profits for GC oyster producers. (首段写得很不错)
　　First of all, the mere fact that the trend consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for NAC oysters shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw GC oysters is insufficient evidence to conclude that the harmful bacteria are the only attribute necessary to the trend of the willingness to oysters.  While it may be true that some people prefer to NAC oysters for the reason that GC oysters were found harmful, this is not true for every one. It is possible that in spite of its high price, NAC oysters were found more tasty or nutritious than GC oysters by most people gradually. GC oysters were found harmful is probably just a slight influence factor. To do much to increase the safety of GC oysters could not guarantee the result of great profits(这句话读起来有点怪).
　　The argument is also weakened by the fact that the reliability (of the reliability重复了) of the process is not insured. The progress of killing the bacteria of oysters but don’t influence the quality of oysters itself(此句表达不大清楚)It is not easy, other wise; it will not influence the GC oysters about five years long that there aren’t any good methods to treat the bacteria. Is the process scientists find now perfect enough? Possibly, it still need long time trial and error to indicate. And who could guarantee that the process don’t bring other problems to GC oysters? Even there is a perfect process to tread the GC oysters, I am afraid that the cost would be too much compared to the unknown profits(此句也许可以独立成一段来驳斥greater profits。。).　　　
　　Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that even if no safety questions there people will spend twice as much as usual for the GC oysters（这样会不会好点：even assuming that the process for killing the bacteria is effective and has no side effect, it does not mean that consumers would like to spend twice as much as usual for the GC oysters.）. Price is determined by many things. For example, as it mentioned before, it is possible that NAC oysters is already famous for its delicious meat and abundant nutritious, time prove that it is worthful of its price（此句表达再斟酌下）; so people tend to prefer the relative high price NAC oysters. If that is true, there would be little use to spend much to increase the safety of GC oysters to expect the great profits.
　　The argument for increase safety of GC oyster to gain great profits is not proper. The author ignores other possible factors. It needs more evidences like, the safety problem are directly influence the oysters’ price; GC oysters are as good as NAC oysters, and there is an effective way to increase the safety of GC oysters etc. Without such evidence, we cannot accept the author’s conclusion.
小结：
1、整篇文章的逻辑结构很清楚，主要的错误都指出了 ~
2、语言方面有些表达不大清楚，但总体来说还可以，这方面可以再注意加强下，越native越好~
3、一些细节方面很值得我学习，比如NAC 和GC的速写，谢谢！~
继续努力！~:)