argument207

lestouUID: 2260126

The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By making a comparison of the specie of salamander, a kind of animal whose eggs are damaged by the increasing ultraviolet radiation there for will no doubt decrease its population, with the other species whose population will also declined due to the increasing ultraviolet radiation in the same reason, the arguer believed the same phenomenon will occurred on other species seems logical. A meticulous examination of it however, will find how groundlessly it is.

In the first place, which is also the major problem, the assertion is based on the gratuitous assumption that other species will have the same problems like the salamander. Admittedly salamander eggs have no protective shells, and ultraviolet radiation can damage delicate tissues. But it does not follow that other species will also damaging from this radiation just for the sake of they have delicate tissues. However, in all likelihood this is simply not the case, such likelihood may include the fact that most of species don't propagate through laying eggs, and even to those who lay eggs to generate their offspring, and they will not categorically put them in mountain lakes. In the more general cases, animals will try to hide their eggs in some secret places to ensure their safety instead of to expose them under the radiation directly.

In the second place, even if salamanders are putting their eggs under the sun directly, and lots of other species also doing so, it doesn’t follow that their deceasing number of population has much to do with the ultraviolet radiation. There are many alternatives that can also influence the number of the species. Such alternatives may include the case that salamander's living circumstance has been polluted severely, or their natural enemy have sharply increased and seeking their eggs or themselves for food. It's entirely possible that salamander can not find enough food which could eventually lead to perish.

Overall, the arguer commits a fallacy of false comparison of salamander with other species.  Moreover the evidence that arguer cited as evidence is insufficient and too vague without considering many other factors. Before any conclusion made about decreasing population of many species closely related to ultraviolet radiation, the arguer have to evaluate all the possible alternatives and upgrade a more specific and all-around evidence.   

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By making a comparison of the specie of salamander, a kind of animal可以不用这个短语 whose eggs are damaged by the increasing ultraviolet radiation there for will no doubt decrease its population首先这是文中的语法错误，你这样写就变成是一个支持性的论据了。而且也有语法错误，therefore是一个副词，不能作连词使用, with the other species whose population will also declined due to the increasing ultraviolet radiation in the same reason, the arguer believed the same phenomenon will occurred on other species seems logical.这段话有点意思不够清晰，可以明白楼主想说什么，但是没有说清楚。翻译成中文就可以看出来了：“通过比较两种动物，一种动物的蛋被增强的紫外线射伤，另一种动物将会因同样的原因数量下降，作者认为同样的现象将会发生在其他物种上。”看出意思重复了吗？而且这些都是错误的推理过程，你这样写的语气让读者认为它们都没有错。然后是一个语法错误,seems 和believed同时作为这个句子的谓语，而且没有连词。 A meticulous examination of it however, will find how groundlessly it is.

In the first place, which is also the major problem,建议删掉，意思重复 the assertion is based on the gratuitous assumption that other species will have the same problems like the salamander. Admittedly salamander eggs have no protective shells, and ultraviolet radiation can damage delicate tissues. But it does not follow that other species will also damaging from this radiation just for the sake of they have delicate tissues. However, in all likelihood this is simply not the case, such likelihood may include the fact that most of species don't propagate through laying eggs, and even to those who lay eggs to generate their offspring, and they will not categorically put them in mountain lakes.这里结构比较乱，是分词短语混合句子的并列。句子间的并列用分号隔开，并且每个分词短语修饰那个句子一定要将关系理清。 In the最高级要用the,但是比较级不用 more general cases, animals will try to hide their eggs in some secret places to ensure their safety instead of to expose them under the radiation directly.

In the second place, even if salamanders are putting their eggs under the sun directly, and lots of other species also doing so, it doesn’t follow 不能这样用 that their deceasing number of population has much to do with the ultraviolet radiation. There are many alternatives that can also influence the number of the species. Such alternatives may include重复，建议将两个句子合并 the case that salamander's living circumstance has been polluted severely, or their natural enemy have sharply increased and seeking their eggs or themselves for food. It's entirely possible that salamander can not find enough food which could eventually lead to perish.

Overall, the arguer commits a fallacy of false comparison of salamander with other species.  Moreover the evidence that arguer cited as evidence is insufficient and too vague without considering many other factors. Before any conclusion made about decreasing population of many species closely related to ultraviolet radiation, the arguer have to evaluate all the possible alternatives and upgrade a more specific and all-around evidence.   
总的来说，找出了两个攻击点，论述比较到位。但是仍然不够完全，文中仍有可以攻击的错误
句子结构，尤其是复杂句，每个分句之间的关系时有混乱。建议可以这样练习：把每个单句写出来，然后再合并成复杂的复句。
有点匆忙，如果有错请务必指出～
多多指教啊^_^