issue51【0806G-永不言弃小组】第一次作业 by worldbaby

worldbabyUID: 2272889

Issue 51: “Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.”
Data: 2007-11-24  Words: Time: 1hour and 15 m
compendium:
(1) )the difference of individuals calls for the diverse ways of educating
(2 the generality of education nowadays has achieved significant effect in both
research fields and working places
(3)when put into practice, it is a long way to go for realizing the kind of
specifically designed education considering the cost of education.

  In today's world, more and more people have the access to be educated. While I concede that, to some extent, the sort of education focused on the individual's need and interest can realize its specially designed goal considering the difference between a variety of people. What is more important is that the effectiveness in general education, which I will illustrate in the following. Despite this, the price and the benefits should be taken into account when appeal to the specially designed education.  
Firstly, there is a need for developing the specially designed education to cater to the students of different interests and demand. As cactus grows in the scorching place, and reeds need plenty of water. Different kind of people have different interests, dispositions and characters even when they are born in the same conditions, like twins raised in a family, one may be quiet while the other is enthusiastic in activity. The difference come from two ways, on the one hand, it is the difference in character make the difference in interest possible. The theory of personality types suggests the type preference in studying. Taking a well-known pair of character---extrovert and introvert for example, as we know, extroverts usually have a variety of interests and therefore take a active approach to study in the life. While it is true that, the introverts look inward for resources, they have less interests but on a much deeper level, and then take a reflective way to life. On the other hand, it is the diversity of personal life that lead to the different interests in education. Students may get knowledge from the persons surrounding, like the behavior of parents and the friends they make, both will have a potential effect on the students when dealing with problems in the future and receiving new skills from education.
  Secondly, although the kind of education which highlight on the speciality of students is needed as aforementioned reasons, the general education system has ameliorated the level of populace and thus make numerous achievements in all academic fields, which is also effective. The general education system, including nearly all kind of elementary knowledge, such as mathematics, physics, sociology, biology, chemistry, psychology and so on, provide students with a basic ground knowledge and cultivate them into developing logic sense in analyzing. In spite of those functions, such generally designed education mainly aimed at discovering the potential ability of students, helping students to learn to know, learn to do, learn to get together , learn to be , which is the goal of education acclaimed by the National Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization. Since generally designed education implanted with a variety of fundemental subjects in nearly all fields, it is possible to draw out what is within students and develop their deeper interest. Although there are many celebrities succeeded without formally systemized education, more successors are trained through it such as Nobel prizers in academic fields, famous professors in notable universities and especially those scientists majored in high-technique area.
  Last but not lest, considering the diversity of students and the effectiveness of specially designed education, developing the kind of education should also be incorporated into plans for future. What is more, highly specially designed education calls for more investment in planing, including the test for students' interests, the subjects with more exact division, and also more teachers for adding subjects. It is possible that the cost bringing from such plans surpass its benefits. To avoid such waste in education, maybe designing for such education is not desirable.         
Generally designed education has achieved significantly, but combined with the individual's interests and need, it could do better with improvement. In a word, it is a long way to improve today's education way for the goal of realizing its effectiveness.

sunwei0UID: 2227404

In today's world, more and more people have the access to be educated. While I concede that, to some extent, the sort of education focused on the individual's need and interest can realize its specially designed goal considering the difference between a variety (between后面肯定是两个东西呀，用a就不合适了) of people. (这里应该加个转折词更好吧) What is more important is that the effectiveness in general education, which I will illustrate in the following. Despite this, theprice and the benefits should be taken into account when appeal to the specially designed education.  (感觉这句和what is的那句意思差不多，应该直接接在后面比较好吧)

我就把修改过的写在下面了，仅供参考
In today's world, more and more people have the access to be educated. I concede that, to some extent, the sort of education focused on the individual's needs and interests can realize its specially designed goal considering the difference between varieties of people. Despite this, what is more important is that the effectiveness in general education. That means, the price and the benefits should be taken into account when appealing to the specially designed education, which I will illustrate in the following.  

Firstly, there is a need for developing the specially designed education to cater to the students of different interests and demands. As cactus grows in the scorching place and reeds need plenty of water. (比喻用得很好) Different kind of people have different interests,dispositions and characters even when they are born in the same conditions,like twins raised in a family, one may be quiet while the other is enthusiastic in activity. The difference come from two ways, on the one hand, it is the difference in character makes the difference in interest possible. The theory of personality types suggests the type preference in studying. Taking a well-known pair of character---extrovert and introvert for example, as we know, extroverts usually have a variety of interests and therefore take an active approach to study in the life. While it is true that, the introverts look inward for resources, they have less interests but on a much deeper level, and then take a reflective way to life. On the other hand, it is the diversity of personal life that leads to the different interests in education. Students may get knowledge from the persons surrounding, like the behavior of parents and the friends they make, both will have a potential effect on the students when dealing with problems in the future and receiving new skills from education. (这段有三处低级语法错误，一定要注意)

Secondly, although the kind of education which highlight on the speciality (specialty) of students is needed as aforementioned reasons, the general education system has ameliorated (这个词用得好！) the level of populace and thus make numerous achievements in all academic fields, which is also effective. (觉得also应该去了，否则转折的不够彻底。甚至可以写成which is actually more effective) The general education system, including nearly all kind of elementary knowledge, such as mathematics, physics, sociology, biology, chemistry, psychology and so on,provide students with a basic ground knowledge and cultivate them into developing logic sense in analyzing. In spite of those functions, such generally designed education mainly aimed at discovering the potential ability of students, helping students to learn to know, learn to do, learn to get together , learn to be , which is the goal of education acclaimed by the National Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization. (前面那句是原话吗？如果是的话是不是应该加引号) Since generally designed education implanted with a variety of fundemental (fundamental) subjects in nearly all fields, it is possible to draw out what is within students and develop their deeper interest. Although there are many celebrities succeeded without formally systemized education, more successors are trained through it such as Nobel prizers (many Nobel Prize winners) in academic fields, famous professors in notable universities and especially those scientists majored in high-technique area. (两处拼写错误，不过不是什么大问题。最后这句话的especially显得有点不够special)

Last but not lest, considering the diversity of students and the effectiveness of specially designed education, developing the kind of(指代的是哪种？) education should also be incorporated into plans for future. What is more, highly specially designed education calls for more investment in planing (planning), including the test for students' interests, the subjects with more exact division, and also more teachers for adding subjects. It is possible that the cost bringing from such plans surpass its benefits. To avoid such waste in education, maybe designing for such education is not desirable. (这段显得比较乱，逻辑不清晰，没有具体驳斥或支持哪种观点的某个方面，有点像草草收尾的感觉)

Generally designed education has achieved significantly, but combined with the individual's interests and need, it could do better with improvement. In a word, it is along way to improve today's education way for the goal of realizing its effectiveness. (结尾段好像缺个总结性的收尾词)

sunwei0UID: 2227404

感觉你的文章最主要的问题是态度不是很明确，看开头段似乎是要说specialized不好，可是后面的内容呼应的不是很好，结尾段又说specialized education可以作为一般教育的补充。主体段落中第一段让步说specialized好处，第二段转折说generalize的好处，第三段就应该说specialized的坏处了呀，可是说得很不清楚哦。

个别的拼写错误不要紧，不要犯低级的语法错误，会扣印象分的。总体来说还有提升的空间，加油吧~~~:)