Issue8【0806G-永不言弃小组】第二次作业 by worldbaby

worldbabyUID: 2272889

Issue8【0806G-永不言弃小组】第二次作业 by worldbaby
8、"It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public."
Data: 2007-12-02   Words:598  Time: 80minutes
Compendium:
(1) for the sake of a would-be politician and the ultimate interest of the mass, it is deserved to withhold information from the public
(2) such acts as disclosing information to the public can avoid bureaucracy and political scandals , while a transparent government will intrigue the patriotism of public by making them involve in public affairs and
(3) balance the aforementioned aspects can lead to a effective government and realize the goal of a compatible society.  
Is it necessary for the political leaders to withhold information from the public, the speaker argues so. While I concede that for the sake of a would-be politician and the ultimate interest of the mass, such view is outright true. Like a sword has two edges, considering the politicians' scandals and corruptions nowadays and also the effectiveness of disclosing some information to the public in order to intrigue their patriotism and enhance the transparency and equity of government, a contrary view is more reasonable. On a balance, whether withholding information is decided by specific conditions.  
   On the one hand, I fundamentally agree with the proposition concerning the interests of both the politicians and its populace. As to the politicians, the key to the success is to gain and maintain the leadership. A complete forthrightness will incur vulnerability and result in the undoing of the leadership. In the game of politics, the flaw in character, the foible in career and even some past experiences may cause potential detriments for the would-be leaders since their opponents may use aforementioned details taking every advantage to defeat the politician. Such view is cynical but realistic. While on the side of the populace, withholding information can avoid great panic and threatening public safety and the national security. For example, news like a accidental malfunction of the national defense system or a deciphering of the national security system were revealed to the public, conservatively estimating, a great panic and the mass hysteria might result. What is more, the horrific hemisphere spreads, causing the perturbation in all the aspects of social life, especially in the economic system, like the great depression in the 1920s in the USA. In such cases, perhaps disclosing information after resolving legitimately will be more desirable.
On the other hand, overdue freedom for the politician to disclose information from public would incur corruption and risk the public sanctioning brutal force and demagoguery. Completely withholding information grants the politicians the power for private interest. Since no valid measures were taken, any leaders have the right to achieve its own benefit over the boarder interest of the democratic society. Cases respectively, come immediately into mind, Nixon in the scandal of Watergate, Clinton's guilty performance in the congress and so on. In spite of its direct damages demonstrated to the democratic system and public's credibility to the government's policy, the resources wasted in probing in such scandals can play an importance role in solving the necessary problems----the hunger, the homeless, the drug trafficker, and even the terrorists, which call for more attention for the interest of the public. What is more, disclosing information to the public is welcome. For instance, many endemic governments open websites for government affairs, which is a window to disclose information to the public in China. By incorporating the plans for the social welfare either long-term or short-term, the instant regulations for civic safety, more details about the public interest-oriented measures, voting-system for some specific budget and even appealing for suggestions for the rotation of the government, the public can interact with the government through the internet tool which intrigued the local patriotism of the public at lest. With such measures, a compatible society can be envisioned.
In the summary, the game of politics and the inherent nature of it call for the view argued. At the same time, lacking of forthrightness is not equal to warrant the disingenuousness of a would-be politician. To be an effective government, taking the ultimate interest of the public into account, the government should balance the opening and withholding information to public seemly.

chencylx03UID: 2352706

Issue8【0806G-永不言弃小组】第二次作业 by worldbaby
8、"It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public."
Data: 2007-12-02   Words:598  Time: 80minutes
Compendium:
(1) for the sake of a would-be politician and the ultimate interest of the mass, it is deserved to withhold information from the public
(2) such acts as disclosing information to the public can avoid bureaucracy and political scandals , while a transparent government will intrigue the patriotism of public by making them involve in public affairs and
(3) balance the aforementioned aspects can lead to a effective government and realize the goal of a compatible society.  
Is it necessary for the political leaders to withhold information from the public,（？问句） the speaker argues so. While I concede that for the sake of a would-be politician and the ultimate interest of the mass, such view is outright true（用outright让人感觉语气太重了，因为从下文看，该观点并不是你的中心）. Like a sword has two edges, considering the politicians' scandals and corruptions nowadays and also the effectiveness of disclosing some information to the public in order to intrigue their patriotism and enhance the transparency and equity of government, a contrary view is more reasonable. On a balance, whether withholding information is decided by specific conditions.  
   On the one hand, I fundamentally agree with the proposition concerning the interests of both the politicians and its(their) populace. As to the politicians, the key to the success is to gain and maintain the leadership. A complete forthrightness will incur vulnerability and result in the undoing of the leadership. In the game of politics, the(a) flaw in character, the(a) foible in career and even some past experiences may cause potential detriments for the would-be leaders since their opponents may use aforementioned details taking every advantage to defeat the politician[我感觉写成这样更好：opponents may take every advantage to defeat the politician using aforementioned details]. Such view is cynical but realistic. While on the side of the populace, withholding information can avoid great panic and threatening public safety and the national security. For example, news like a accidental malfunction of the national defense system or a deciphering of the national security system were revealed to the public, conservatively estimating, a great panic and the mass hysteria might result. What is more, the horrific hemisphere（应是atmosphere吧） spreads, causing the perturbation in all the aspects of social life, especially in the economic system, like the great depression in the 1920s in the USA. In such cases, perhaps disclosing information after resolving(having been resolved) legitimately will be more desirable. （个人感觉great depression的例子不适当，因为那次大萧条是如此严重，根本无法掩盖，另外它是持续了很长时间，也不可能在短期被掩盖和能解决掉）

On the other hand, overdue freedom for the politician to disclose information from public would incur corruption and risk the public sanctioning brutal force and demagoguery. Completely withholding information grants the politicians the power for private（是不是应为public） interest. Since no valid measures were taken, any leaders have the right（应为incentives or temptations） to achieve its（their）own(private) benefit over the boarder interest of the democratic society. Cases respectively, come immediately into mind, Nixon in the scandal of Watergate, Clinton's guilty performance in the congress and so on(学习一下啊). In spite of its direct damages demonstrated to the democratic system and public's credibility to the government's policy, the resources wasted in probing in such scandals can play an importance role in solving the(more)necessary problems----the hunger, the homeless, the drug trafficker, and even the terrorists, which call for more attention(attentions) for the interest of the public. What is more, disclosing information to the public is welcome. For instance, many endemic governments open websites for government affairs, which is a window to disclose information to the public in China. By incorporating the plans for the social welfare either long-term or short-term, the instant regulations for civic safety, more details about the public interest-oriented measures, voting-system for some specific budget and even appealing for suggestions for the rotation of the government, the public can interact with the government through the internet tool(\), which intrigued(intrigues) the local patriotism of the public at lest. With such measures, a compatible society can be envisioned. （应当提一下你在第一段中的corruption,  corruption 耗费的资源可比probing scandals更多，可以拿中国与西方对比，估计老美会喜欢，个人感觉）

In the summary, the game of politics and the inherent nature of it call for the view argued. At the same time, lacking of forthrightness is not equal to warrant the disingenuousness of a would-be politician. To be an effective government, taking the ultimate interest of the public into account, the government should balance the opening and withholding information to public seemly.

文章语句顺畅，错误较好，个别语句仍可做修改。采用了平衡的论证方法，但是有些例子说服力不强，论证比较平和，个人感觉，我感觉可以有些侧重。
另外第一段中观点交待的还不是一目了然。
就提这些吧，水平有限啊。

[ 本帖最后由 chencylx03 于 2007-12-11 15:19 编辑 ]

sunwei0UID: 2227404

这篇文章没有太多可修改的，观点很鲜明，结构也很清晰；在用词上尝试使用了较多高端词汇，虽然有时在用法上不是很准确；句子上也使用了不少长句，虽然有些时候因为追求句子的复杂性而对原本的句意有些改变，可这都不是什么大问题，看得多了、用得多了慢慢就会有感觉的，毕竟最主要的还是文章的总体构架和逻辑。:loveliness: