[Areo小组]第一次作业(Issue243) 大家拍啊~~

sheldenUID: 2338299

It is difficult to judge the value of a civilization, because it can be evaluated by a large number of factors. I partially agree with the argument and my opinion is that both scientific and artistic products contribute to the value of a civilization.

First of all, both of them are human's creative work which can serve the whole society. People can relax themselves by appreciating music, painting, architecture and other artistic accomplishments. For example, the Ninth Symphony of Beethoven will warm your heart; Monet's painting may obsess you in the magic of sunlight; the Sydney Theatre stimulates your illusion of the question what is it is like, what is the original source of it. The scientific development thoroughly changes people’s life. Just see the keyboard under our hand, how unbelievable it is! We can just write through “pressing and patting”. Also, the lamp, the train, the plain and all other inventions make us live a much better life than before.

To further discuss this issue, we should find out the origin of them-human sensational and rational mind-work. Human sensational mind-working makes artistic creations, while rational mind-working creates scientific accomplishments. So they present different part of civilization and human creativity. We cannot omit each of them.

We can evaluate the value of a civilization only on art development. Think about Maya, although it was ruined by Spain in the early time, its wall painting and pyramid shock the world. We can regard it as a civilization weak in science,
but we cannot deny the fact that it created so many masterpieces that make people memorize and imagine this civilization even now. It is also a great civilization although it is weak on science.

Also, we can judge the value of a civilization by science. American is a comparatively new country in the world. Its artistic creation are not as plenty as the old nation such as China and India. But it’s the strongest country in science and economy now. Uncountable inventions are created in the U.S.A, then transported the whole world. Edison, Einstein and many other great scientists are all American. There’s no doubt that it is the engine of the whole world science development. Can we deny that America is not a great civilization?

Although we can evaluate the value by either science or art, it not means a nation or a civilization should develop only one of them. Just like bird cannot fly with either wing broken, both artistic creations and scientific accomplishments are necessary for a country to be really indestructible.

Maybe a civilization cannot be strong in all realms. But just good at one field, the value cannot be denied.

liuyingbnuUID: 2321970

觉得前面好像应该有个主题段落,提出观点，个人意见^_^。
First of all, both of them are human's creative work which can serve the whole society. People can relax themselves by appreciating music, painting, architecture and other artistic accomplishments. For example, the Ninth Symphony of Beethoven will warm your heart; Monet's painting may obsess you in the magic of sunlight; the Sydney Theatre（？Sydney Opera Hous） stimulates your illusion of the question what is it like, what is the original source of it. The scientific development thoroughly changes people’s life. Just see the keyboard under our hand, how unbelievable it is! We can just write through “pressing and patting”. Also, the lamp, the train, the plain and all other inventions make us live a much better life than before.(第一段就用这么多例子，很赞！)

To further discuss this issue, we should find out the origin of them-human sensational and rational mind-work. Human sensational mind-working makes artistic creations, while rational mind-working creates scientific accomplishments. So they present different part of civilization and human creativity. We cannot omit each of them.

We can evaluate the value of a civilization only on art development. Think about Maya, although it was ruined by Spain in the early time, its wall painting and pyramid shock the world. We can regard it as a civilization weak in science, but we cannot deny the fact that it created so many masterpieces that make people memorize and imagine this civilization even now. It is also a great civilization although it is weak on science.

Also, we can judge (access) the value of a civilization by science. 前面说只能靠艺术的发展，这儿又说科学，逻辑有点奇怪。American is a comparatively new country in the world. Its artistic creation are not as plenty (glorious or gorgeous) as the old nation such as China and India. But it’s the strongest (most advanced) country in science and economy now. Uncountable inventions are created in the U.S.A, and then transported to the whole world. Edison, Einstein and many other great scientists are all American. There’s no doubt that it is the engine of the whole world science development. Can we deny that America is not a great civilization?

Although we can evaluate the value by either science or art, it not means a nation or a civilization should develop only one of them. Just like bird cannot fly with either wing broken, both artistic creations and scientific accomplishments are necessary for a country to be really indestructible.

Maybe a civilization cannot be strong in all realms. But just good at one field, the value cannot be denied.
总的来说，思路很清楚的，字数会不会少了点呢？

sheldenUID: 2338299

非常非常感谢

关于红字的部分  我想表达的意思“我们可以单单艺术水平决定文明的价值，同样，科技也可以。”

字数的确是个大问题  因为我写作词汇量小  总感觉写不出东西

不知道您有什么好办法

sheldenUID: 2338299

主题段落被误用横线划了  不好意思啊

lvmo36933UID: 2321783

It is difficult to judge the value of a civilization, because it can be evaluated by a large number of factors. I partially agree with the argument （是不是应该用issue）and my opinion is that both scientific and artistic products contribute to the value of a civilization.First of all, both of them are human's creative work which can serve the whole society. People can relax themselves by appreciating music, painting, architecture and other artistic accomplishments. For example, the Ninth Symphony of Beethoven will warm your heart; Monet's painting may obsess you in the magic of sunlight; the Sydney Theatre stimulates your illusion of the question what is（应该去掉） it is like, what is the original source of it. （这个排比的动词形势应该保持一致）The scientific development thoroughly changes people’s life. Just see the keyboard under our hand, how unbelievable it is! We can just write through “pressing and patting”. Also, the lamp, the train, the plain and all other inventions make us live a much better life than before.To further discuss this issue, we should find out the origin of them-human sensational and rational mind-work. Human sensational mind-working(可用one代替)

makes artistic creations, while rational mind-working（the other one） creates scientific accomplishments. So they present different part of civilization and human creativity. We cannot omit each of them. We can evaluate the value of a civilization only（去掉）on art development. Think about Maya, although it was ruined by Spain in the early time, its wall painting and pyramid shock the world. We can regard it as a civilization weak in science,but we cannot deny the fact that it created so many masterpieces that（which，前面有个that,再说不通顺） make people memorize and imagine this civilization even now. It is also a great civilization although it is weak on science.Also, we can judge the value of a civilization by（on）science. American is a comparatively new country in the world. Its artistic creations are not as plenty as the old nation such as China and India. But it’s the strongest country in science and economy now. Uncountable inventions are created in the U.S.A, then transported the whole world. Edison, Einstein and many other great scientists are all American. There’s no doubt that it is the engine of the whole world science development. Can we deny that America is not a great civilization?Although we can evaluate the value by either science or art, it not means a nation or a civilization should develop only one of them. Just like bird cannot fly with either wing broken, both artistic creations and scientific accomplishments are necessary for a country to be really indestructible.Maybe a civilization cannot be strong in all realms. But just good at one field, the value cannot be denied.

我认为，每段的举例应该在字数上保持一致。Issue题应该阐述逻辑性，感叹句不太合适。关键是逻辑，应该一步一步，循序渐进。论述的文章和自己的观点不相符。作者说部分同意，但是后面没有体现。

[ 本帖最后由 lvmo36933 于 2007-12-16 19:36 编辑 ]