Argument140[deperado]第六次作业 by Grace

grace040802UID: 2348819

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 595                   DATE: 2007-12-14 23:33:15

[Outline]:
1. 反驳Thomas教授很受学生换欢迎.
2.反驳她的研究能力,因为缺少横向比较,应该与其他教授比较一下,
3.反驳加薪就一定能留住Thomas教授.

This report recommends that Elm City University raises the salary of Professor Thomas to $60,000 and give her a promotion to Department Chairperson, responding to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities, in order to persuade her continue to stay in the University. To assess the recommendation, the committee presents some evidence that her classes are among the largest at the university and the money she brings to the university was more than her salary last two years. However, this recommendation is specious on several grounds.

On one hand, the fact that her classes are among largest at the university provides little evidence to demonstrate her popularity among the students. Because as we all know, the required courses in university often are fixed by the teachers, and the students have no choice but to take the curriculum. Thus, perhaps her classes are so important and fundamental that every student in the department should take in. Moreover, the quantity of the students are large makes no sense that she is popular with her students. Whether her teaching ability good or bad depends more on the students ' values but not the quantity .Without providing any information about this, the committee cannot convince me that the students like her teaching.

On the other hand, as for research abilities, the mere fact that the funds that she has brought to the university in research grants has been beyond her salary in each of the last two years doesn't indicate that she has good research ability and she should receive a $10,000 raise without comparing to the other professors. Perhaps in Elm City University, most if the professors brings more values to the university that their limited salary. Without offering some information of other professors, it is unsoundly convincing me that she is excellent in research. Beside, the scale of the research ability is not decided by the money but the attribution to her field. The better her conduct s the research, the bigger her attributions. But the committee overlooks this respect. In addition, or perhaps she also earns the money from the research programs, which is more than her salary. In fact, she receive much, and the $10,000 more make little lure for her. Therefore, this recommendation is unpersuasive.

Lastly, even if because of her good teaching and research ability, it is worthy to raise her salary by $10,000,the committee fails to provide ant reason for promoting her to Department chairperson. Perhaps she is not good at dealing with daily business of the Department. Or perhaps she is interested in teaching and researching freely, but not a leadership, even though she is good at that. Without ruling out this possibility, the university cannot, in one side, give her a promotion unless she requires. Moreover, the committee fails to consider that Professors Thomas will leave the Elm City University without such a raise and promotion. Yet, if she wants to leave, such lure is definitely insufficient. Having been a professor of botany for seventeen years, what does she really pursuit?  Perhaps giving her better experimental conditions is more attractive for her. If the university really expects her to stay in this school, it had better make sure that what she really needs.

In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster it the committee must provide a survey among the students she teaches in the respect of her teaching ability, and specific evidence about other professors' research in comparison. To better assess the strength of the recommendation, the committee had better provide some information about the will of Professor Thomas.

hongdanUID: 2228730

This report recommends that Elm City University raises the salary of Professor Thomas to $60,000 and give her a promotion to Department Chairperson, responding to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities, in order to persuade her continue to stay in the University. To assess the recommendation, the committee presents some evidence that her classes are among the largest at the university and the money she brings to the university was more than her salary last two years. However, this recommendation is specious on several grounds.

On one hand, the fact that her classes are among largest at the university provides little evidence to demonstrate her popularity among the students. Because as we all know, the required courses in university often are fixed by the teachers（mandatory必修课）, and the students have no choice but to take the curriculum. Thus, perhaps her classes are so important and fundamental that every student in the department should take in. Moreover, the quantity of the students are large makes no sense that she is popular with her students.（这句话和下句连接不是很紧，看不出连贯） Whether her teaching ability good or bad depends more on the students ' values but not the quantity .Without providing any information about this, the committee cannot convince me that the students like her teaching.

On the other hand, as for research abilities, the mere fact that the funds that she has brought to the university in research grants has been beyond her salary in each of the last two years doesn't indicate that she has good research ability and she should receive a $10,000 raise without comparing to the other professors.（感觉这句话好长，分开写是否能更好些） Perhaps in Elm City University, most if（of?） the professors brings more values to the university that(than?) their limited salary. Without offering some information of other professors, it is unsoundly convincing me that she is excellent in research. Beside, the scale of the research ability is not decided by the money but the attribution to her field. The better her conducts the research, the bigger her attributions. But the committee overlooks this respect. In addition, or perhaps she also earns the money from the research programs, which is more than her salary. In fact, she receive much, and the $10,000 more make little lure for her. Therefore, this recommendation is unpersuasive.（这段分析得很好，学习中）

Lastly, even if because of her good teaching and research ability, it is worthy to raise her salary by $10,000,the committee fails to provide ant(any) reason for promoting her to Department chairperson. Perhaps she is not good at dealing with daily business of the Department. Or perhaps she is interested in teaching and researching freely, but not a leadership, even though she is good at that. Without ruling out this possibility, the university cannot, in one side, give her a promotion unless she requires. Moreover, the committee fails to consider that Professors Thomas will leave the Elm City University without such a raise and promotion. (这句话什么意思，没看明白？)Yet, if she wants to leave, such lure is definitely insufficient. Having been a professor of botany for seventeen years, what does she really pursuit?  Perhaps giving her better experimental conditions is more attractive for her. If the university really expects her to stay in this school, it had better make sure that what she really needs.

In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster it the committee must provide a survey among the students she teaches in the respect of her teaching ability, and specific evidence about other professors' research in comparison. To better assess the strength of the recommendation, the committee had better provide some information about the will of Professor Thomas.

整篇文章逻辑错误都已找出，各个错误点分析得也很透，只是有几句的句间连贯不是很好。都在文中指出。要向你学习逻辑错误的细分析。呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 hongdan 于 2007-12-15 03:36 编辑 ]

charryUID: 2426204

This report recommends that Elm City University raises the (annual) salary of Professor Thomas to $60,000 and give (gives) her a promotion to Department Chairperson, responding to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities, in order to persuade her continue to stay in the University. To assess the recommendation, the committee presents some evidence that her classes are among the largest at the university and the money she brings to the university was more than her salary (in) last two years. However, this recommendation is specious on several grounds.

On one hand, the fact that her classes are among largest at the university provides little evidence to demonstrate her popularity among the students. Because as we all know, the required courses in university often are fixed by the teachers, and the students have no choice but to take the curriculum. Thus, perhaps her classes are so important and fundamental that every student in the department should take in. Moreover, the quantity of the students are large makes no sense that she is popular with her students. Whether her teaching ability good or bad depends more on the students ' values but not the quantity .Without providing any information about this, the committee cannot convince me that the students like her teaching.

On the other hand, as for research abilities, the mere fact that the funds that she has brought to the university in research grants has been beyond her salary in each of the last two years doesn't indicate that she has good research ability and (she) should receive a $10,000 raise without comparing to (with) the other professors. Perhaps in Elm City University, most if (of) the professors brings (bring) more values to the university that (than) their limited salary. (good) Without offering some information of other professors, it is unsoundly convincing (it unsoundly convinces) me that she is excellent in research. Beside (Besides), the scale of the research ability is not decided by the money but the attribution (contribution) to her field. The better her conduct s the research, the bigger her attributions. But the committee overlooks this respect. In addition, or perhaps she also earns the money from the research programs, which is more than her salary. In fact, she receive much, and the $10,000 more make little lure for her. Therefore, this recommendation is unpersuasive.

Lastly, even if because of her good teaching and research ability, it is worthy to raise her salary by $10,000,the committee fails to provide ant reason for promoting her to Department chairperson. Perhaps she is not good at dealing with daily business of the Department.(management) Or perhaps she is interested in teaching and researching freely, but not a leadership, even though she is good at that. Without ruling out this possibility, the university cannot, in one side (on one side), give her a promotion unless she requires. Moreover, the committee fails to consider that Professors Thomas will leave the Elm City University without such a raise and promotion. Yet, if she wants to leave, such lure is definitely insufficient. Having been a professor of botany for seventeen years, what does she really pursuit?  Perhaps giving (offering) her better experimental conditions is more attractive for her. If the university really expects her to stay in this school, it had better make sure that what she really needs.（good）

In sum, this recommendation is not well supported. To bolster it the committee must provide a survey among the students she teaches in the respect of her teaching ability, and specific evidence about other professors' research in comparison. To better assess the strength of the recommendation, the committee had better provide some information about the will of Professor Thomas.

1、对于吸引教授留校的其他因素还可以再展开一下。
2、结尾写得不错，其他部分有一些词或句式是否考虑换一种表达方法可能会更好些: )