issue48

hziu2UID: 2326409

I agree with the statement that the study of history always strongly emphasis the individuals and most of history is made by those people whose identities have long been forgotten. History should be made by groups of people rather than the famous few only.
Historians always focus on individuals for consideration of their own purpose or social situation. Although the events or evolutions need to record by the representation of the people who make a main role in that period, the historian always exaggerate the influence made by that single individuals. Actually, historians have their own emotion to the events or have their own judgment to the people who stand on the peak of the trend. And the famous people who historians choose always represent most of people. Even basis of the case above, the study of history show too much emphasis on the single people and ignore the people behind these famous people.
First, on the science field, people always remember the person such as Einstein, Newton. Newton is described a great genius for the discovery of the law of gravity. But Newton facing this proud just said: “I just stand on the should of the giant.” Newton could get the great discovery without the thought left by the people who are forgotten by the history. It is ridiculous that Newton discover the law of gravity just due to the apple falling to his head. The develop of science is a accumulated process. No one dare to say that he can process science. We admire the person who made a so remarkable thing around his field, at the mean time, we also see the people behind him.
And, we always know that the people bright in the development of the society with excellence quality and marvel the evolution made by them through the historian. Take the Great Wall for example, Great Wall called “the seventh wonder in the world” is built by the Qin dynasty. Historians always make this wonderful building attribute to the empire of Qin dynasty. And so many people died during building the Great Wall with no name left.
As conclusion, the study of history covers the groups of people and emphases the influence of individuals more or less. So, knowing that the history is created by groups of people rather only the famous person, we should read the record of history with our own critical mind and avoid the blindly worship.

zhuzhiweiUID: 2438616

I agree with the statement that the study of history always strongly emphasis the individuals and most of history is made by those people whose identities have long been forgotten. History should be made by groups of people rather than the famous few only.
Historians always focus on individuals for consideration of their own purpose or social situation. Although the events or evolutions need to record by the representation of the people who make a main role in that period, the historian always exaggerate the influence made by that single individuals. Actually, historians have their own emotion to the events or have their own judgment to the people who stand on the peak of the trend. And the famous people who historians choose always represent most of people.(这句要表达什么？首句说历史学家有个人目的倾向，这里又说他们选的能够代表大众？) Even basis of the case above, the study of history show too much emphasis on the single people and ignore the people behind these famous people.
First, on the science field, people always remember the person such as Einstein, Newton. Newton is described a great genius for the discovery of the law of gravity. But Newton facing this proud just said: “I just stand on the should of the giant.” Newton could get the great discovery without the thought left by the people who are forgotten by the history. It is ridiculous that Newton discover the law of gravity just due to the apple falling to his head. The development of science is an accumulated process. No one dare to say that he can process science. We admire the person who made a so remarkable thing around his field, at the mean time, we also see the people behind him.（牛顿这个例子虽然很好用，但是作者的例子一定要实在的表达红色文字要表达的内容，要不然只是在绕圈。具体在这句话上下工夫）
And,（开头的连结词建议看看范文该怎么用。不要只FIRST  AND的来） we always know that the people bright in the development of the society with excellence quality and marvel the evolution made by them through the historian. Take the Great Wall for example; Great Wall called “the seventh wonder in the world” is built by the Qin dynasty. Historians always make this wonderful building attribute to the empire of Qin dynasty.（最好说出秦王，要扣题，FAMOUS FEW） And（这个关联词是干什么用的？递进？并列，还是转折？） so many people died during building the Great Wall with no name left.
As conclusion, the study of history covers the groups of people and emphases the influence of individuals more or less. （不大明白是什么意思）So（前面的原因在这里是SO 的什么）, knowing that the history is created by groups of people rather than the famous person, we should read the record of history with our own critical mind and avoid the blindly worship.(自己的目标和愿望啊？好象不需要写吧？写也是写对STUDY的建议吧？)

liuyingbnuUID: 2321970

I agree with the statement that the study of history always strongly emphasis the individuals and most of history is made by those people whose identities have long been forgotten. History should be made by groups of people rather than the famous few only.

Historians always focus on individuals for consideration of their own purpose or social situation. Although the events or evolutions need to record(?be recorded) by(with or through) the representation of the people who make a main role in that period, the historian always exaggerate the influence made by that single individuals. Actually, historians have their own emotion to the events or have their own judgment to the people who stand on the peak of the trend. And the famous people who historians choose always represent most of people. Even basis of the case above, the study of history show too much emphasis on the single people and ignore the people behind these famous people.（这一段感觉没有展开）

First, on(in) the science field, people always remember the person such as Einstein, Newton. Newton is described a great genius for the discovery of the law of gravity. But Newton facing this proud(首先proud是形容词，其次英文很少用骄傲的褒义吧accomplishment) just said: “I just stand on the should of the giant.” Newton could get the great discovery without the thought left by the people who are forgotten by the history. It is ridiculous that Newton discover the law of gravity just due to the apple falling to his head. The develop of science is a accumulated(?accumulating) process. No one dare to say that he can process science. We admire the person who made a so remarkable thing around his field, at the mean time(meanwhile), we also see the people behind him.

And(很少见到用这个做连接词的，既然前面用了first,后面为什么不用second呢), we always know that the people bright in（？） the development of the society with excellence quality and marvel the evolution made by them through the historian. （I am not clear about this sentence）Take the Great Wall for example, Great Wall called “the seventh wonder in the world” is(was) built by(in) the Qin dynasty. Historians always make this wonderful building attribute to the empire(you mean emperor?) of Qin dynasty. And so many people died during building the Great Wall with no name left.

As conclusion, the study of history covers the groups of people and emphases（emphasises on） the influence of individuals more or less. So, knowing that the history is created by groups of people rather only the famous person, we should read the record of history with our own critical mind and avoid the blindly worship.

首先是举例的问题，虽然我也举了牛顿，但是我觉得还是不举他的为好，避免雷同探测器。。。

其次，论证的第一个理由和后面两个理由的关联不是太紧密，个人觉得适当做出让步会更好一些。

最后，有些小问题还是要多注意的。

水平有限，有些问题的理解可能不太到位，抱歉哈~

[ 本帖最后由 liuyingbnu 于 2007-12-22 18:13 编辑 ]