Argument57【0806G-永不言弃小组】第8次作业 by worldbaby

worldbabyUID: 2272889

Argument57【0806G-永不言弃小组】第8次作业 by worldbaby
Data: 2008-01-28 Words:526   Time: 46minutes57.
The following appeared in a newsletter on nutrition and health."Although the multimineral Zorba pill was designed as a simple dietary supplement, a study of first-time ulcer patients who  took Zorba suggests that Zorba actually helps prevent ulcers. The study showed that only 25 percent of those ulcer patients who took Zorba under a doctor's direction developed new ulcers, compared to a 75 percent recurrence rate among ulcer patients who did not take Zorba. Clearly, then, Zorba will be highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers and if health experts inform the general public of this fact, many first-time ulcers can be prevented as well."


  Before informing the general public the result of the study that many first-ulcers can be prevented by take multimineral Zorba in certain amount, the argument should be examined from several other angles. The researchers of the study have already assumed that the Zorba can effectively keep the ulcers from recurring without examining other possible factors which may lead to the same result.
  First of all, the study which leads to the results is doubtful. For an experiment to be effective, it should make a balance between the experimental and the control group. While in the study above, we have nothing about the ages, the backgrounds and the general health state of the patients. And even we do not know nothing that whether the ulcer patients who took Zorba are the same ages, backgrounds and healthy level as those who did not take Zorba. Perhaps that those Zorba-takers are people who ate healthily, exercised regularly and never smoke, whose lifestyle can effectively avoid the ulcer recurrence. Perhaps the latter ones who have 75 percent recurrence rate are heavy smokers, and grossly lacking of good dormancy, whose lifestyle are tend to suffer from the recurrence of ulcers. The cases are true of the age. Younger people are less likely to face the ulcers. In addition, the arguers are fail to do a persuasive study which make the result unconvincing.                    
Secondly, it is unfair that the author assumes that the Zorba is the only onw that is highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers. There is no evidence to support that. Lacking such evidence, it is also equally that aside from taking Zorba, other medicine will play the same role in preventing the ulcers. For instance, vitamin B2 is of essential use for fighting with the ulcers. Besides, as a common sense, it is well-known that vegetables or fruits juice which is full of plenty of vitamin and mineral elements is also effective in preventing the ulcers. Without ruling out such alternative ways of preventing ulcers in the experiments, it is hasty to draw the generalization that many first-time ulcers of the public can be prevented as well.
   Finally, even if assuming the result of the study is correct, other problems need to be considered: can many first ulcers be prevented as well? Whether the Zorba have adversely effect on the commons? The fact is that the study only shows us that Zorba will be highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers, which might not be same to the first-time illness. If it supposed that the absence of recurrence is due to the antibody of ulcers, there is no evidence to indicate the fist-time ulcers can be prevented. It is similar to the side-effect, is there anything in the Zorba may have adversely effects on the patients, such as affecting the women's ability to bear healthy children or inducing high blood pressure for certain people. Consequently, the arguer failed to rule out such possibilities which make the conclusion inadvisable for some people.
   In a word, for a study to be effective, it must be strictly controlled and have a broad cross- sectional people involved. Besides, other alternative solutions should be included.

worldbabyUID: 2272889

第一段我把罗嗦的部分改了 并调整了说明顺序
第二段删除了部分照搬模板的痕迹
第三段做了大调整 主要是正对那个first-time ulcer一定会发生而改的
第四段也修改了下

The researchers of the study have already assumed that the Zorba can effectively keep the ulcers from recurring without examining other possible factors. Before informing the general public the result of the study that many first-ulcers can be prevented by taking multimineral Zorba in certain amount, the argument should be reexamined from several other aspects.
  First of all, for an experiment to be effective, it should make a balance between the experimental and the control group. While in the study above, we have nothing about the ages, the backgrounds and the general health state of the patients. And also we do not know whether the ulcer patients who took Zorba are the same ages, backgrounds and healthy level as those who did not take Zorba. Perhaps that those Zorba-takers are people who ate healthily, exercised regularly and never smoke, whose lifestyle can effectively avoid the ulcer recurrence. Perhaps the latter ones who have 75 percent recurrence rate are heavy smokers, and grossly lacking of good dormancy, whose lifestyle are tend to suffer from the recurrence of ulcers. The cases are true of the age. Younger people are less likely to face the ulcers. In addition, the arguers are fail to do a persuasive study.                    
Secondly, if assuming the study is convincing and representative, it is doubtful that whether all the ulcer patients can be prevented well. Since the patients are all first-time ulcer patients, the study only talking about the function of Zorba in decreasing the recurrence rate of ulcers. As a result, the assertion that all the first-time ulcers can be prevented well is unreasonable. As we know that, people who have been suffered from ulcers will be able to produce the antibody of ulcers which can strongly prevent the recurrence of the ulcers, while people without experience of ulcer may have a quite different immune system. Totally, further study of the Zorba in preventing the first-time ulcer is needed to justify the arguer’s assertion.
   Finally, even if it is proved that the Zorba is effective both for the first-time ulcers and its recurrence, the prediction that general public’s first-time ulcer can be prevented well made by the experts is open to doubt. The public will not pay much attention to such tiny illness as a common sense, in case that the ulcer brings deep and severe injury on people’s skin. Besides, other problems need to be considered: Whether the Zorba have adversely effect on the commons? Such as affecting the women's ability to bear healthy children or inducing high blood pressure for certain people. Consequently, the arguer failed to rule out such possibilities which make the conclusion inadvisable for some people.
   In a word, for a study to be effective, it must be strictly controlled and have a broad cross- sectional people involved. Besides, other alternative solutions should be included.

firhadayUID: 2287086

大概看了下,好很多了,提的几个意见都改好了啊!真是赞啊!

worldbabyUID: 2272889

thx firahaday很会改作文哦