Arguement166 飞跃 dreams 第三次作业

wxtxxmUID: 2339833

166.The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to
contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

In this report, the author try to persuade people that Cold-Away has better effect than Coldex because the Cold-Away is used by doctors more and have longer time in the market than the Coldex. Also the author points out that both of the medicine has well-known side effect.In my opinion, I can not agree with what the author holds. I can not accept that the Cold-Away is better than the Coldex only by the time in the market and the time used by the doctor.

First of all, as the author talked of in the report, the Cold-Away can cause people drowsiness and the Coldex cause people’s blood pressure become higher. The Coldex can not be used by the people who have high blood pressure, but the Cold-Away will make everyone drowsiness. To those people who do not have high blood pressure, also not want drowsiness, the Coldex is the best choice. So the Coldex can face to large population than the Cold-Away.

Secondly, through the Cold-Away is used in the hospital more than the Coldex,I can not believe that the former is more effective than the latter. It is entirely possible that the Cold-Away is more expensive than the Coldex, and the hospital can have high profits by using the Cold-Away. Or maybe the hospitals do not have other choices, as the report points that the Coldex is on the market shorter than the Cold- Away. There are so many possibilities that the author should consider thoroughly.

Finally, the author conclude the opinion also by the Cold-Away has been on the market longer than the Coldex. However, the time on the market is not the main reason that the Cold-Away is more effective than the Coldex. If as the author’s logic, can I guess that all of the things in the past are better than the things now? Of course not, so many examples tell me it is false. Take the computer for the example, is the computer made in 70’s better than the computer made now? Obviously, it is not. So I can not accept the author’s idea by such a way.

In sum, the conclusion the author made is unwarranted so that I can not agree the idea. I suppose that the author should strengthen the conclusion in the difference between the Cold-Away and the Coldex, try to find more evidence to support the argument.

Marvelous_czUID: 2451875

In this report, the author try to persuade people that Cold-Away has better effect than Coldex because the Cold-Away is used by doctors more and have longer time in the market than the Coldex. Also the author points out that both of the medicine has well-known side effect.（应该把unwanted 说出来）In my opinion, I can not agree with what the author holds. I can not accept that the Cold-Away is better than the Coldex only by the time in the market and the time used by the doctor.（time在这是个双关语。。？~强）

First of all, as the author talked of in the report, the Cold-Away can cause people drowsiness and the Coldex cause people’s blood pressure become higher. The Coldex can not be used by the people who have high blood pressure, but the Cold-Away will make everyone drowsiness. （这句话不觉得跟第一句意思重复么？）To those people who do not have high blood pressure, also not want drowsiness, the Coldex is the best （better）choice. So the Coldex can face to large population than the Cold-Away.
我也理解。。关于副作用这段确实不是很好批，但你写的有些过于单薄了。。

Secondly, through the Cold-Away is used in the hospital more than the Coldex,I can not believe that the former is more effective than the latter. （感觉上句话说的有些绝对了。。argument里尽量不要这么绝对，如果换成我仍然怀疑。。。这种说法更科学些。。）It is entirely possible that the Cold-Away is more expensive than the Coldex, and the hospital can have high profits by using the Cold-Away. Or maybe the hospitals do not have other choices, as the report points that the Coldex is on the market shorter than the Cold- Away. There are so many possibilities that the author should consider thoroughly.
写出医院选择COLD-AWAY的原因并不一定是出于药效。举例不错。说的比较清楚。

Finally, the author conclude the opinion also by the Cold-Away has been on the market       longer than the Coldex. However, the time on the market is not the main reason that the Cold-Away is more effective than the Coldex. If as the author’s logic, can I guess that all of the things in the past are better than the things now? Of course not, so many examples tell me it is false. （建议作文不要说这种类型的话。。有点应验主义，可以说it is widely known that….）Take the computer for the example, is the computer made in 70’s better than the computer made now? Obviously, it is not. So I can not accept the author’s idea by such a way.
这段说的是上市时间长短并不代表药效的好坏。
说的比较清楚，例子也不错。

In sum, the conclusion the author made is unwarranted so that I can not agree the idea. I suppose that the author should strengthen the conclusion in the difference between the Cold-Away and the Coldex, try to find more evidence to support the argument.

刚咨询了某个大牛，argument里尽量减少I 等主观称谓，这样能使得文章更显客观一些。我也是刚刚才发现这点的，以后都注意一下吧~