Argument9 --thrive小组第2次作业

westwindyiUID: 2453478

ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."

提纲：
1.        作者没能够提供学生平均成绩上升是由采用了学生评估教师系统的确切证据；
2.        即使采用学生评估系统导致了学生平均成绩的浮夸，作者也没能够提供评估系统导致了Omega毕业生在就业上的失败；
3.        即使承认上两者都成立，要提高Omega的就业率也不一定需要取消评估系统。

In spite of the overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent which was caused by the evaluation of the professors by the students, as the dean at Omega University points out, the graduates of Omega are still less successful than the graduates from nearby Alpha in getting jobs, for higher overall grade averages conveys a sense that the grades at Omega are inflated. At the first glance, the argument seems to be reasonable; actually, it contains a serial of logic flaws which makes it not convincing.

The dean fails to provide evidence to prove that the raise of overall student grade averages was result from the adoption of student evaluation system towards the professors. Possibly, the students who came into Omega University after the start of this evaluation system were cleverer than ever before, or after the start of this evaluation system student of the university studied much harder than ever before. Without ruling out these possible factors, the dean can not draw the conclusion that the adoption of student evaluation system towards the professors should be responsible for the raise of the overall student grade averages at Omega University.

Even if the adoption of students evaluation resulted in the inflation, the dean make the same mistake twice that he also fails to provide the evidence to prove that the adoption of students evaluation system towards the professors result in the failure of the students of Omega University in finding jobs with a comparison of nearby Alpha University. The dean overlooks a myriad of possible reasons for the Omega’s comparatively low job placement. Perhaps Omega’s career service is inadequate; or perhaps Omega’s graduates have a bad fame in the potential employers. In a word, without accounting for these possible reasons, it is unjustified for the dean to claim that the failure of Omega’s graduates in getting jobs is resulted from the inflation of overall student grade averages.

Further more, even if the adoption of students evaluation system towards the professors led to the raise of the overall student grade averages and also is responsible for the failure of the graduates from Omega University in finding jobs with a comparison of nearby Alpha University. It is unwarranted for the dean to argue that Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. There are many feasible ways to make the condition better. For instance, the university can set up special office to give the students who are seeking jobs more advices or the university goes out to connect the companies and invite them to hire good employee in their campus. Without excluding the possible ways that may enable its graduates to secure better jobs, the dean can not make such assertion.

In conclusion, the dean’ argument is not as convincing as it seems to be, thus is unpersuasive. The dean should provide more evidence to strengthen what he asserts.

[ 本帖最后由 westwindyi 于 2008-2-5 13:25 编辑 ]

sbsUID: 2453499

In spite of the overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent which was caused by the evaluation of the professors by the students, as the dean at Omega University points out, the graduates of Omega are still less successful than the graduates from nearby Alpha in getting jobs, for higher overall grade averages conveys a sense that the grades at Omega are inflated.（复述作者观点，你这一句话信息可真够多的，拆开来比较好） At the first glance, the argument seems to be reasonable; actually, it contains a serial of logic flaws which makes it not convincing.

The dean fails to provide evidence to prove that the raise of overall student grade averages was result from the adoption of student evaluation system towards the professors. Possibly, the students who came into Omega University after the start of this evaluation system were cleverer than ever before, or after the start of this evaluation system student of the university studied much harder than ever before. Without ruling out these possible factors, the dean can not draw the conclusion that the adoption of student evaluation system towards the professors should be responsible for the raise of the overall student grade averages at Omega University.
（你在这段说，学生成绩提高有可能是因为学习努力或学生聪明，而并没有说跟评价系统有什么关系，至少应该提到是由于评价系统导致教授故意把分打高的，不然感觉没有针对性）

Even if the adoption of students evaluation resulted in the inflation, the dean make the same mistake twice that he also fails to provide the evidence to prove that the adoption of students evaluation system towards the professors result in the failure of the students of Omega University in finding jobs with a comparison of nearby Alpha University.（TS太长了，别放太多细节） The dean overlooks a myriad of possible reasons for the Omega’s comparatively low job placement. Perhaps Omega’s career service is inadequate; or perhaps Omega’s graduates have a bad fame in the potential employers. In a word, without accounting for these possible reasons, it is unjustified for the dean to claim that the failure of Omega’s graduates in getting jobs is resulted from the inflation of overall student grade averages.
（这里最好和Alpha对比者说）

Further more, even if the adoption of students evaluation system towards the professors led to the raise of the overall student grade averages and also is responsible for the failure of the graduates from Omega University in finding jobs with a comparison of nearby Alpha University. It is unwarranted for the dean to argue that Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. There are many feasible ways to make the condition better. For instance, the university can set up special office to give the students who are seeking jobs more advices or the university goes out to connect the companies and invite them to hire good employee in their campus. Without excluding the possible ways that may enable its graduates to secure better jobs, the dean can not make such assertion.
（这里反驳了废除评价体制是充分的，但它是否是必要性的呢？不过当然也可以只说明一方面，你这段字数已经够了就可以不用说了）

In conclusion, the dean’ argument is not as convincing as it seems to be, thus is unpersuasive. The dean should provide more evidence（what evidence？具体说明一下） to strengthen what he asserts.

段首句细节太多，攻击点还不错，但都说了一半，思维模式单一，不能只考虑一面不想另一面，要对立着看问题。

[ 本帖最后由 sbs 于 2008-2-10 10:56 编辑 ]