issue51[jet]小组第三次作业

O--honeyUID: 2452493

提纲：
1.     如果一种教育能够满足个人的需求和每一个学生的利益的话，它无疑是高效的。
2.     但是，衡量教育是否有效的条件不仅仅是对个人而言，还有对社会和国家的贡献而言的。
3.     其它衡量教育的有效性的条件还包括对个人情操的陶冶，素质的提高等等。
字数：648   时间：08.2.5
The arguer contents that the necessity of the effectiveness of education lays within its goodness to individual needs and   interests of each student, I agree with this insofar based on some common sense. However, the arguer shrinks the range of education to some extent while there exist some other possibilities that do go with the education that can affect its effectiveness.

I still remember the Champaign of the point that we work to live conceal in most people’s mind, if you can only look at the busy scenery that lots of people get up early in the morning rushing to catch up with the early bus to their work place can you realize the prominent purpose towards money may affect people to some workaholic degree, in this case, work quality counts on the salary yet the scope of knowledge counts on the work quality, however, the last but most important key lays along this chain is education, we can image how much money we can earn if the education we receive related firmly to our own interests---that’s our work. No other ways can be better than a good education in this sense. This reminds me of some special schools that teach students special skills specifically, and this is a classical education that meets the individual needs, furthermore, match students’ interests, for most of them who graduate from these school can directly go to the work place that firmly related to their mayor, like students in vehicle mending mayor can graduate to be a professor of vehicle and totally living on it, the same as a student graduate from computer mayor can handle various kinds of computer technique problems and earn money through it. When most people realize the advantages of this effective education method, many students turn to special schools for their once-in-a-life chance.

Nevertheless, all roads lead to Rome, a kind of education system that meets the individual interests is not the only way to present the effectiveness of education itself. Climbing up to an upper level, if education meets the profits of our society and country, it also can be weight to be effective education; in this case, we work to dominant our country, to promote the GDP, to accelerate its development. Since the discovery of X-ray, its function has been put into chemical use, to check whether there is a crack in the patients’ bones. Its wildly function brings a lot of convenience to our daily life and at the same time, promote our society to a better civilization, under this circumstance, the X-ray has been conclude into a subject which subjected to education that affect generations. Therefore, education here is an incubative factor that affects people’s daily life to some extend; it is more than schooling that only teaches some professions that only can be enough for single people. So whenever you want to judge an education systems’ effectiveness, individual interests is never the only criteria, society or country’s interests can be always taken into account!


There still remain other factors that can determine the effectiveness of education. Such as the promoting of one’s quality and cultivating of one’s good mood, broadening one’s horizon, implanting one’s sadness and so on. Here, education means music, arts, sports and so on, and those so called individual interests have already lost their sense, because these are some places that enable you to fully enjoy yourself without considering the benefits and interest, like a pure bright blue sky without even a little cloud, and education itself has been turned into a process of enjoying, and entertainment!


In sum, education takes a more broad area than schooling and other ways that offer us the living skills that equip us with the ability to survive, it is a long process that go along with us from the beginning to the end, its various contents has already decided its effectiveness.

cascadeUID: 2454141

你好,我觉得你的作文正文第一段有一些东西我不能苟同.
I still remember the Champaign of the point that we work to live conceal in most people’s mind, if you can only look at the busy scenery that lots of people get up early in the morning rushing to catch up with the early bus to their work place can you realize the prominent purpose towards money may affect people to some workaholic degree, in this case, work quality counts on the salary yet the scope of knowledge counts on the work quality, however, the last but most important key lays along this chain is education, we can image how much money we can earn if the education we receive related firmly to our own interests---that’s our work.(1.这个长句是否太长了点... 当然你可以不认同,我只说说我的观点,长句固然好,可是太长的句子是引不起人阅读的兴趣的.2. 这个句子作为主题句我觉的是不合适的, 因为前面的背景介绍的光彩遮盖了后面的观点, 有头重脚轻之嫌. 3. 从这一段的总体布局来说,我觉得后面的论述不够,有些地方还是可以再挖掘下的. No other ways can be better than a good education in this sense. This reminds me of some special schools that teach students special skills specifically, and this is a classical education that meets the individual needs , furthermore, match students’ interests, for most of them who graduate from these school can directly go to the work place that firmly related to their mayor, like students in vehicle mending mayor can graduate to be a professor of vehicle and totally living on it(我觉得这里可以用具体的实例替代,比如德国的汽车工业就依赖于这样的教育,实例比概况总让人感觉亲近些), the same as a student graduate from computer mayor can handle various kinds of computer technique problems and earn money through it. When most people realize the advantages of this effective education method, many students turn to special schools for their once-in-a-life chance.

另外,我和别人讨论时,有人对你将effectiveness 和 找工作挂钩不太同意，我觉得还是和社会利益联系起来比较好。 你后文说 Climbing up to an upper level, if education meets the profits of our society and country, it also can be weight to be effective education我觉得就很好

建议结尾再对全文观点总结甚至升华一下，就比较完整了。