Issue150 [Jet小组}第五次作业 互拍 ! ALL WELCOME

xiahsoulUID: 2441730

ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."


Will tourism soon be eliminated through the contest of television and internet? Dispite assorted effusions to the contrary, in my observation, I deem that these products of intellectual development will conduce to tourism, and eventually serve tourism to enjoy unprecendented prosperity.

觉得不行 决定全文大换血 重写！

[ 本帖最后由 xiahsoul 于 2008-2-13 20:08 编辑 ]

sendUID: 2200778

Will tourism soon be eliminatedthrough the contest of television and internet? (后半句是不是容易造成歧异?eleminate和过时不是一码事吧?)Dispite assortedeffusions to the contrary(我一直不知道这里需不需要在前面把effusion说明一下), in my observation, I deem that theseproducts of intellectual development will conduce to tourism, andeventually serve tourism to enjoy unprecendented prosperity.(这个enjoy的主语是人么?)

It is undeniable that the television and worldwide computer havebrought a electronic storm and connection revolution. With thesedeveloped media, people can know more about the world, and the world isgoing to be a global country. Nowadays, we can sit before(in front of) thetelevision or the computer, enjoying the great scenes which are(maybe) milesaway. However, this(这个指代什么) cannot replace the position of the tourism, forwhat we face is only a plane, but not the solid scenes. Perhaps thepictures in the plane are vivid, but we cannot fully feel the beauty ofnature and humanity. For example, when we climb a mountain, we can makefriends from other places, feel the spirit of conquering, and get asatisfaction of success after reaching to the top. Standing on the top ofthe mountain, we can inspire the fresh air, overlook to the countriesand forests in the base, and enjoy the bask of the sunshine, the smellof flowers, all of which can only be imaged when we sit before thecomputer and television. In this sense, these media can only serve asway of finding out interesting places, but to become familiar with newplaces, we can only go there by ourselves.(这句话?)

Moreover, people go to tourism not only want to know something aboutit, but to relax themselves and flee away from the busy and burdensomedaily work for a while. As nowadays people become less interesting inthe common pastime such as parties, shopping, and so on, they needother things to recall the spirit and refresh themselves. So theychoose tourism, which surely cannot be replaced by clicking mouse andbrowsing before the computer. In this sense, unless people do not wantto refresh themselves and indulge in the quotidian life, the tourismwill never be obsolete.(这段用可能的语气是不是更好些?)

In fact, while the television and computer cannot replace the tourism,they even serve as propaganda and facilities of such activities. First,as people learn the attraction about these scenes, they rouse the eagerto visit there. Take me as an example, when I saw the beautiful andinteresting scene of Disney Park in America, I swore that there wouldbe a day that I went there, which urges me to be harder to achieve mygoal. Second, through the television and computer, we can select theplace we want to go most, and get the latest information about thehostels and admission fees about the scenes, so to manage our trip moreconvenient. We can even book the hotels and join in the local travelagency ahead of time. With this information about the scenes, we canhave a good journey without any worry and troubles.

In all(all in all), although the television and worldwide computer make us knowmany places more easily, they cannot take the place of tourism. To thecontrary, because they supply us more information about the scenes, wecan rise more eager to go out and manage our trips more convenient.

你写的好好啊,用词比我的复杂多了,共勉!