Argument51 [aero作文组] 13次作业

geyserUID: 2446453

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 354          TIME: 00:28:25          DATE: 2008-2-15 14:43:57

In this statement the speaker asserts all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To  justify this claim, the speaker provides the evidence that in a study, the group of patients who took antibiotics heal quicker that the other group of patients who took sugar poll instead.  However, it suffers from several fallacies, and the evidence for the claim should be evaluated very carefully for the following reasons.

The most serious is that, the basis of this argument, the study itself is problematic, the speaker provides no evidence that secondary infection occurs on patients suffering from muscle injuries, it may happens in other kinds of disease rather muscle injuries. Lacking such evidence, any  conclusion of this argument is unwarrant and unconvincing.

Second, the speaker fails to take into account other factors may contribute to result of the study. It is entirely possible that one of the doctors is majored in sports injury while another is a general doctor. No evidence shows that besides the different from using of antibiotics or sugar pills, whether the two doctor give different medicine or treatment is still a problem. Or even the sugar pills contribute to a slower recuperation. The comparision is unwarranted ,which lacks any sound evidence to support this claim.

In addition, the speaker makes an oversimplified reasoning that since in this study patients who use antibiotics heal quicker than those who do not , all patients with muscle strain problem would take antibiotic. As we all know, many factors should be taken into consideration when given a priscription, such as gender, age, the medical histroy. It is inappropriate to argue that all patient with muscle strain should take the same treatment.

In conclusion, we can safely conclude that this argument has several patent flaws. To make it more convicing, the author need more evidences that details such as the proportion of secondary infections in patients have muscle injuries and the therapeutic methods in the two group. Moreover, the arguer should present more evidence to demonstrate that antibiotics is suitale for all muscle strain patients.

[ 本帖最后由 geyser 于 2008-2-16 16:06 编辑 ]

katu1204UID: 2355887

In this statement the speaker asserts all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To  justify this claim, the speaker provides the evidence that in a study, the group of patients who took antibiotics heal quicker that the other group of patients who took sugar poll instead.  However, it suffers from several fallacies, and the evidence for the claim should be evaluated very carefully for the following reasons.

The most serious is that, the basis of this argument, the study itself is problematic, the speaker provides no evidence that secondary infection occurs on patients suffering from muscle injuries, it may happens in other kinds of disease rather muscle injuries. Lacking such evidence, any  conclusion of this argument is unwarrant [unwarranted] and unconvincing.

Second, the speaker fails to take into account other factors may contribute to result of the study. It is entirely possible that one of the doctors is majored in sports injury[感觉文章已经说了specializes in sports medicine 这个例子举的不好] while another is a general doctor. No evidence shows that besides the different from using of antibiotics or sugar pills, whether the two doctor give different medicine or treatment is still a problem. Or even the sugar pills contribute to a slower recuperation. The comparision[comparison] is unwarranted ,which lacks any sound evidence to support this claim.

In addition, the speaker makes an oversimplified reasoning that since in this study patients who use antibiotics heal quicker than those who do not , all patients with muscle strain problem would take antibiotic. As we all know, many factors should be taken into consideration when given a priscription[priscription], such as gender, age, the medical histroy[history]. It is inappropriate to argue that all patient with muscle strain should take the same treatment.

In conclusion, we can safely conclude that this argument has several patent flaws. To make it more convicing[convincing], the author need more evidences that details such as the proportion of secondary infections in patients have muscle injuries and the therapeutic methods in the two group. Moreover, the arguer should present more evidence to demonstrate that antibiotics is suitale[suitable] for all muscle strain patients.

文章的思路很正统，思路与逻辑顺序可以拿高分， 但是你的论证稍显单薄，中间三段至少应该有一段要比较长，着重批驳，首尾段可以尽量精简。

孑。。。UID: 2371205

Argu51 aero作文组 13次作业
TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 354          TIME: 00:28:25          DATE: 2008-2-15 14:43:57

In this statement the speaker asserts all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To  justify this claim, the speaker provides the evidence that in a study, the group of patients who took antibiotics heal quicker that the other group of patients who took sugar poll instead.  However, it suffers from several fallacies, and the evidence for the claim should be evaluated very carefully for the following reasons.
整齐漂亮。。我喜欢
The most serious is that, the basis of this argument, the study itself is problematic, the speaker provides no evidence that secondary infection occurs on patients suffering from muscle injuries, it may happens in other kinds of disease rather muscle injuries. Lacking such evidence, any  conclusion of this argument is unwarrant and unconvincing.（还可以充分一点，比如说讲清楚：patients who suffering from muscle injuries may not necessarily get infected.）

Second, the speaker fails to take into account other factors may contribute to result of the study. It is entirely possible that one of the doctors is majored in sports injury while another is a general doctor. No evidence shows that besides the different from using of antibiotics or sugar pills, whether the two doctor give different medicine or treatment is still a problem. Or even the sugar pills contribute to a slower recuperation. The comparision is unwarranted ,which lacks any sound evidence to support this claim.

In addition, the speaker makes an oversimplified reasoning that since in this study patients who use antibiotics heal quicker than those who do not , all patients with muscle strain problem would take antibiotic. As we all know, many factors should be taken into consideration when given a priscription, such as gender, age, the medical histroy. It is inappropriate to argue that all patient with muscle strain should take the same treatment.(还可以列举达到效果的其他方法，证明该方法的不必要性)

In conclusion, we can safely conclude that this argument has several patent flaws. To make it more convicing, the author need more evidences that details such as the proportion of secondary infections in patients have muscle injuries and the therapeutic methods in the two group. Moreover, the arguer should present more evidence to demonstrate that antibiotics is suitale for all muscle strain patients.
结构已经很好了。。具体的论证再多加练习。。八九不离十了。。