argument117 [Jet小组]第九次作业，流连互拍

aijaUID: 2461373

117.
Should the Department Increase the Stores of Home Office Machine

The manager makes a hasty conclusion that the office-supply department should increase their store of home office machine as a result of work-at-home trend.  Besides, he suggests that this department should also increase stock of office supplies, and with these changes, his department is hopeful of becoming the most profitable component.  I find this conclusion to be illogical.

To begin with, the author makes such a conclusion rests on the result of recent survey.  There are about 70 percent of respondents report that they are now required to take home with their work.  According to the phenomena, the manager asserts that they should increase their store.  He makes a fallacy of hasty generalization.  The situation of 70% percents of respondent cannot be representative enough to all people.  Maybe only 20% percent or even less people in this district who are main customers of Valu-Mart stores take part in the survey.  And the rest of them do not bring home their work at all.  So the manager cannot conclude that there is such a trend of work-at-home, not mention to increase office machine store according this unfair assumption.

Even if there is a work-at-home trend in this district, still the manager cannot conclude that there will be a significant increase of their sales only if they increase the store of home office machine.  If people want to take home their work, they just need to take a USB with them, and then finish the work on PC.  They do not need to print or shred papers at home because they can easily operate these procedures on computer.  Even when they want to print out their work, they can use the printers when they return to offices the next day.  So it is not necessary for them to purchase these office machines at home.  Without giving efficient evidence that people will be in need of these home office machine, I cannot support the author’s recommendation.

The author can hardly convince us that there is a direct relation between the increase of their sales and the increase in office machine stock.  An excellent sale should be attributed to many factors including a good market strategy, good relations between customs and employee, and timly update of their machines.  Even if they stocks large lot of office machines, which are all out of time, these stocks will just remain stocks but not profits.  And in an awful environment of shopping, customers cannot have moods to buy any thing.  Not ruling out all these factors, the manager cannot simply blame the bad sales on lack of store of machines and want to enhance their sales simply by increase stores.

Furthermore, the manager concludes that with increase of stock, their department will become the most profitable department.  It is quite possible that people in this district demand other commodities better.  A printer in a family serves for at least 5 years, but families need food and drinks everyday as long as they live.  No wonder that departments of such kind of daily consumptions well-developed consistently are rivals to the office-supply department.  Without proving that these departments are now in logjam on their sales or not capable to compete with his department, the manager can hardly persuade me of a bright future.

Therefore, only when the manager successfully prove that the lack of store of office machine is the only reason of the awful sales, and office machine are really in demand to customers, he cannot support his conclusion of increasing office machine stock will lead to a better sales.

[ 本帖最后由 aija 于 2008-2-21 15:23 编辑 ]

LITTERBOULDERUID: 2367811

117.
Should the Department Increase the Stores of Home Office Machine

The manager makes a hasty conclusion that the office-supply department should increase their store of home office machine as a result of work-at-home trend.  Besides, he(改成arguer，显得更加客观一点) suggests that this department should also increase stock of office supplies, and with these changes, his department is hopeful of becoming the most profitable component.  I find this conclusion to be illogical.

To begin with, the author makes such a conclusion rests on the result of recent survey.  There are about 70 percent of respondents report（两个动词，好像有点问题） that they are now required to take home with their work.  According to the phenomena, the manager asserts that they should increase their store.  He makes a fallacy of hasty generalization（很专业啊）.  The situation of 70% percents of respondent cannot be representative enough to all people.  Maybe only 20% percent or even less people in this district who are main customers of Valu-Mart stores take part in the survey.  And the rest of them do not bring home their work at all.  So the manager cannot conclude that there is such a trend of work-at-home, not mention to increase office machine store according this unfair（感觉程度太强了点，unsubstantiated可能会好一点，毕竟是未被证实的） assumption.

Even if there is a work-at-home trend in this district, still the manager cannot conclude that there will be a significant increase of their sales only if they increase the store of home office machine.  If people want to take home their work, they just need to take a USB with them, and then finish the work on PC.  They do not need to print or shred papers at home because they can easily operate these procedures on computer.  Even when they want to print out their work, they can use the printers when they return to offices the next day.  So it is not necessary for them to purchase these office machines at home.  Without giving efficient evidence that people will be in need of these home office machine, I cannot support the author’s recommendation.

The author can hardly convince us that there is a direct relation（causal relationship，因果关系更恰当一点吧） between the increase of their sales and the increase in office machine stock.  An excellent sale should be attributed to many factors including a good market strategy, good relations between customs and employee, and timly update of their machines.  Even if they stocks large lot of office machines, which are all out of time, these stocks will just remain stocks but not profits.  And in an awful environment of shopping, customers cannot have moods to buy any thing.  Not ruling out all these factors, the manager cannot simply blame the bad sales on lack of store of machines and want to enhance their sales simply by increase stores.

Furthermore, the manager concludes that with increase of stock, their department will become the most profitable department.  It is quite possible that people in this district demand other commodities better.  A printer in a family serves for at least 5 years, but families need food and drinks everyday as long as they live.  No wonder that departments of such kind of daily consumptions well-developed consistently are rivals to the office-supply department.  Without proving that these departments are now in logjam on their sales or not capable to compete with his department, the manager can hardly persuade me of a bright future.

Therefore, only when the manager successfully prove that the lack of store of office machine is the only reason of the awful sales, and office machine are really in demand to customers, he cannot support his conclusion of increasing office machine stock will lead to a better sales.

不错，思路很清晰，注意一下用词就更好了

aijaUID: 2461373

谢谢 打到痛处了都