Argument140 [Jet小组]第十二次作业

mingtian#UID: 2443577

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

Being a botany professor who has stayed at Elm City University for seventeen years, can she just because of salaries and promotion leave the school now she stayed? The speaker is worried about this and states her "demonstrated" teaching and research abilities. But in my view it has so many doubtful points.

First of all, Professor Thomas has been working here nearly twenty years, and the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries gave a reasonable decision all these years. Otherwise she had not been here at earlier time. These two years are the same. The Committee's decision maybe not just relying on teaching and research abilities. It should consider many other conditions, such as if there is a large fault occured on her, or if she herself don't want to receive this promotion. Generally speaking, it's not only be decided by these two parts.

Even the point above is true, the statements can't convince us that the professor really has this reputation. Her classes are among the largest. Is it really demonstrated her popularity? Is it not planned or arranged by the University? Is it not just because more easier in her class to get a high score? And the money she has brought in research grants maybe just because of her talktive. She can persuide country to invest this school. Or there are possibilities that no research has been taken until two years before, and the government just want to try it one time. Or the achivement in this subjuct maybe made by other faulty working with her together. These all have no relationship with the research abilities.

So if the speaker want the Committee to receive this suggestion, he should survey all conditions about Professor Thomas and be sure she is really very excellent in teaching and reseach abilities and other more convincing evidences.

滴滴雨儿UID: 2392741

Being a botanyprofessor who has stayed at Elm City Universityfor seventeen years, can she just because of salaries and promotion leave theschool now she stayed? The speaker is worried about this and states her "demonstrated"teaching and research abilities.(这一句and前后没啥逻辑关系吧) But in my view it hasso many doubtful points.这种issue式开头用在argument里面我还是第一次碰见,不确定能不能使用,建议还是保守点吧.

First ofall, Professor Thomas has been working here nearly twenty years,(不要这么说,就说17年) and the Committee onFaculty Promotions and Salaries gave a reasonable decisionall these years.(似乎也没有证据说之前的就reasonable吧) Otherwise she had notbeen here at earlier time. These two years are the same. The Committee'sdecision maybe not just relying on teaching and research abilities. It shouldconsider many other conditions, such as if there is a large fault occured onher, or if she herself don't want to receive this promotion. Generallyspeaking, it's not only be decided by these two parts.(呃…没看懂这段的说…什么错误?什么其他情况?跟更早的时候又有什么关系?)

Even thepoint above is true, (这里让步做的很好,虽然没看懂above的意思..)the statements can'tconvince us that the professor really has this reputation. Her classes areamong the largest. Is it really demonstrated her popularity? Is it not plannedor arranged by the University? Is it not just because more easier in her classto get a high score?(前面三个连问都很好,但是一下子转到研究经费上太突兀了) And the money she hasbrought in research grants maybe just because of her talkative(talkative是形容词). She can persuidecountry to invest this school. Or there are possibilities that no research hasbeen taken until two years before, and the government just want to try it onetime.(这个…太牵强了吧…) Or the achivement inthis subjuct maybe made by other faulty working with her together. These allhave no relationship with the research abilities.(这…好吧..似乎也说得过去..但是前面的还是太牵强了…找逻辑错误不是鸡蛋里挑骨头..)So if thespeaker want the Committee to receive this suggestion, he should survey allconditions about Professor Thomas and be sure she is really very excellent inteaching and reseach abilities and other more convincing evidences.

总的来说感觉作者还是没有完全进入argument的角色, 可以感觉到作者知道原命题哪些地方有问题,但是无法准确的表达出来,以致于在寻找他因的时候列的有些牵强…另外语言还需要进一步提高..不说逻辑术语..单是句子本身还是比较Chinglish..还是那个建议..多看看范文..
另外在发上来之前应当先在word里面自己纠正一下语法和拼写错误. 加油!

[ 本帖最后由 滴滴雨儿 于 2008-3-1 18:23 编辑 ]