argument20 【7\8\9\10】 第九次作业

buctcontrolUID: 2392206

TOPIC: ARGUMENT20 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."


The arguer suggest to limit the number of moped rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. Based on the fact that the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months, in order to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, and the expected effect of Balmer Island similar to the Torseau Island, the argument is well presented with detail information but is still far from satisfactorily reasons. Indeed, the thread of the argument is based on several assumptions and logical flaws.

A threshold assumption involved in this argument is that the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians are so terrible that we should make some improvement to deal with it. In fact, the author did not show the necessity of dealing with the accidents. It it highly possible that the accident is not like those made by the cars, it did little effect to the life of the island. Indeed, it can fairly become the reason for town council to limit the renting of mopeds.

Even if the town council should take consideration of the accidents, it is unfairly to limit the renting of the mopeds. It is quite likely that the people in Balmer seldom rent mopeds; they have their own bicycle so that the requirment of the mopeds is so small that we have no need to focus on the renting of the mopeds.

In addition, we fail to find the evidence to show that this Island requires more than 30 cars. It is quite possible that the using of the mopeds is smaller than 30 per day, which render that we can not attain the 50 percent of the mopeds accident by reduce the day- renting of the cars from 50 to 30.

Another fundamental problem involved in this argument is that the Torseau's town council enforce the similar limit on mopeds rental that it did work. However, the author fail to consider other crucial factors that might contribute to the issue. For instance, the number of accidents, the number of citizens who ride bicycles and the enviornment of the Island etc. In this way, we can not give the conclusion that we can use the experience from the Torseau Island.

In sum, the evidences provided in the argument do not lend strong support to the conclusion and final suggestion. In order to be more convincing, the arguer should give solid proofs that the accidents is serious enough to give a recommendation to deal with it. In addition, the author muct verify that the significant source of mopeds which the citizens use each day is from renting it from the six moped and bicycle rental companies. At the same time, I would also like to know if renting 30 mopeds per day are full enough for the Island. Finally, to better evalutale the arthor's conclusion, we need more information regarding the similarity condition of the two Islands.
必须补充说明，今天尝试把首尾加长，结果中间没有时间了。。。都没有展开的说。。。

[ 本帖最后由 buctcontrol 于 2008-7-30 00:32 编辑 ]

zhuzhuorUID: 2452739

The arguer suggest(s) to limit the number of moped rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. Based on the fact that the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months, in order to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, and the expected effect of Balmer Island similar to the Torseau Island, the argument is well presented with detail information but is still far from satisfactorily reasons(囧, 这句话好长, 如果不好叙述就分两句来写吧). Indeed, the thread of the argument is based on several assumptions and logical flaws.

A threshold assumption involved in this argument is that the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians are so terrible that we should make some improvement to deal with it. In fact, the author did not show the necessity of dealing with the accidents. It it highly possible that the accident is not like those made by the cars, it did little effect to the life of the island. Indeed, it can fairly become the reason for town council to limit the renting of mopeds.(这个论点不会跑题了吧...俺们只要论证limitation会不会对减少accident有效果就行了, 不用论证减少accident有没有用吧...个人意见)

Even if the town council should take consideration of the accidents, it is unfairly to limit the renting of the mopeds. It is quite likely that the people in Balmer seldom rent mopeds; they have their own bicycle(s) so that the requirment of the mopeds is so small that we have no need to focus on the renting of the mopeds.

In addition, we fail to find the evidence to show that this Island requires more than 30 cars. It is quite possible that the using of the mopeds(这里定语稍微描述的具体点, 不是用车少于30而应该是每个公司每天租出去的车少于30) is smaller than 30 per day, which render that we can not attain the 50 percent of the mopeds accident by reduce the day- renting of the cars from 50 to 30.

Another fundamental problem involved in this argument is that the Torseau's town council enforce the similar limit on mopeds rental that it did work. However, the author fail(s) to consider other crucial factors that might contribute to the issue. For instance, the number of accidents, the number of citizens who ride bicycles and the enviornment of the Island etc. In this way, we can not give the conclusion that we can use the experience from the Torseau Island.

In sum, the evidences provided in the argument do not lend strong support to the conclusion and final suggestion. In order to be more convincing, the arguer should give solid proofs that the accidents is serious enough to give a recommendation to deal with it. In addition, the author muct verify that the significant source of mopeds which the citizens use each day is from renting it from the six moped and bicycle rental companies. At the same time, I would also like to know if renting 30 mopeds per day are full enough for the Island. Finally, to better evalutale the arthor's conclusion, we need more information regarding the similarity(similar) condition of the two Islands.

传说(注意是传说...)把重要的flaws放在文章的最前面比较好, 或者把论点组织一下一直even if地让步也可以
学了几个短语, 不错

[ 本帖最后由 zhuzhuor 于 2008-7-30 10:12 编辑 ]