[超越自我小组]第二次作业-argument110 狗狗=.=

啊拉UID: 2527432

题目：ARGUMENT110 - The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.

"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."
字数：423          用时：00:30:19          日期：2008-8-6 20:50:17

In this memo, the author suggests that Sherwood High (SH) can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter. To support this assertion, the author gives some examples and comparing. Although this suggestion seems to be convincing, I find some logical problems in this memo.

First, no evidence can be given to support that the attendance rates falling, average daily class participation dropping and grades declining are caused by the lack of daylight. Though the author emphasizes again and again that those unhappy things are happened during the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, I still cannot believe that it is the only cause. Maybe it is very cold in SH during the winter so all the faculty and students lose their interesting in studying or teaching, or perhaps there has an important festival during the winter days so everyone in the school turns to get ready for the festival. Unless giving me more evidence to show that lack of lights do influence the students and teachers a lot, the author cannot convince me his/her suggestion is reasonable.

Even if the bad behaviors are caused by the lack of lights, the author cannot conclude so quickly that the SH should use Day Glow light bulbs in winter. Comparing the study of Tundra Vocational School (TVS) to the records about SH, the author concludes that Day Glow light bulbs do help the students improving. But the author ignores that it is highly possible that other factors can also cause the difference. Perhaps the TVS's education level has been improved during the winter so the students' grade point averages increased. Or even perhaps the students become more hardworking during the two months because they need to get ready for the final test. Without ruling out these or other factors that can also cause the good behavior in TVS, the author cannot convince me that the light bulbs can help the students.

Even if the light bulbs can help the students, I cannot find any evidence to show that the bulbs can also help the teachers. The author mentions nothing about the teachers' condition in TVS during the winter, so it is entirely possible that the teachers behave even worse than those in SH.

In sum, though the author suggests so sincerely that SH should use the light bulbs in winter, he/she fails to give enough evidence to convince me the suggest is right. Maybe after reading this argument, the author will soon change or reconsider about this suggestion.

hermituforestUID: 2354296

In this memo, the author suggests that Sherwood High (SH) can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter. To support this assertion, the author gives some examples and comparing. Although this suggestion seems to be convincing, I find some logical problems in this memo.

我也是刚学到的。。。看看这个帖子关于开头怎么说 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=134092


First, no evidence can be given to support that the attendance rates falling, average daily class participation dropping and grades declining are caused by the lack of daylight.（此举显得头重脚轻。。改成主动句） Though the author emphasizes again and again that those unhappy things are happened during the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, I still cannot believe that it is the only cause. Maybe it is very cold in SH during the winter so all the faculty and students lose their interesting in studying or teaching, or perhaps there has an important festival during the winter days so everyone in the school turns to get ready for the festival. Unless giving me more evidence（什么证据？要根据自己文章。。不要乱用模板） to show that lack of lights do influence the students and teachers a lot, the author cannot convince me his/her suggestion is reasonable.

Even if the bad behaviors are caused by the lack of lights, the author cannot conclude so quickly that the SH should use Day Glow light bulbs in winter. Comparing the study of Tundra Vocational School (TVS) to the records about SH, the author concludes that Day Glow light bulbs do help the students improving. But the author ignores that it is highly possible that other factors can also cause the difference. Perhaps the TVS's education level has been improved during the winter so the students' grade point averages increased. Or even perhaps the students become more hardworking during the two months because they need to get ready for the final test. Without ruling out these or other factors that can also cause the good behavior in TVS, the author cannot convince me that the light bulbs can help the students.（中心句和内容脱节）

Even if the light bulbs can help the students, I cannot find any evidence to show that the bulbs can also help the teachers. The author mentions nothing about the teachers' condition in TVS during the winter, so it is entirely possible that the teachers behave even worse than those in SH.

In sum, though the author suggests so sincerely that SH should use the light bulbs in winter, he/she fails to give enough evidence to convince me the suggest is right. Maybe after reading this argument, the author will soon change or reconsider about this suggestion.

《北美范文》啊。。真害人。。。思路应该在开阔点~~
狗狗：自己思考吧~~要是总是模板来模板去。。。下次还得3分。。。GRE考查的是思维的深度和缜密饿。。。
---一点意见。。。不知是不是太主观了~~呵呵