（8.6）issue50【超越自我小组】第二次作业

hermituforestUID: 2354296

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 618          TIME: 01:03:21          DATE: 2008-8-6 19:19:52

Academic colleges and universities are places to educate students and to develop new science and technologies; professions are places to make products to fulfill customers’ needs. Some of the academic subjects develop new technologies needed by the professions to improve their products' selling; other academic subjects just search new findings to add science knowledge. It is clear that the former type of faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions, but the latter need not.
The faculties of first type of subjects such as business, automatic, and medicine needs to contact with their relevant professions and even works in those professions for some time. Take a pharmacy professor for example. During his past years, he received plenty of awards by developing new antibiotic. He is proud of that and continued to develop newer antibiotics again and again by extremely hard work. He supposed to receive more awards and money by doing so; however, he was disappointed after continuous working for several years because people need few antibiotics for its side-effect. This professor failed, however intelligence, for lacking the knowledge of people's demands. If he spends some time working in the relevant company, his tragedy would never happen.
Working outside the campus in relevant professions would not only made them understand the customers’ contemporary demands, but also finding some deficiencies to be resolve in their future studies. For example, an automatic professor found the car's engine has less efficiency during his working in the car's company. He ignited by some very good ideas to solve this problem. But if he always stays in his laboratory, he never had this opportunity.
Academic colleges and universities' also have their duty to cultivate students to find a good job, which means professors working outside the campus would provide them more information about what kind of people the companies needs. Professors would use the most proper teaching method to educate their students to help them finding a good job in the market. That is actually why so many students want to go to college instead of working directly.
On the other hand, the second type of faculties such as mathematicians, archaeologist, and biologists need not to work outside the campus. What they do is nothing to do with the demands of the customs, but the science only. Imagine what an astronomer should do? Of course watch the space through the latest telescope. Is that means he must spend some time in a telescope company? No kidding, it is nothing to do with him, provide a latest telescope is their duty. What they should do is just using their knowledge to searcher in the space for the space exploit.
Also, the theoretical scientists need not to care what their reaching would affect human society. What in front them is the unknown world. They do not know whether their researches are good or bad for the society. If they abandoned their researches just for the unknown threaten, the science would never made process because just as every coin has two sides, every process has two sides too. Machines brought convenience, at the same time, the greenhouse effect. The technologies with nuclear energy are not just the atomic bomb, but the less pollution nuclear power station. Using the science properly is the decided by technician's moral, by the society's value and the government's efforts, but not the theoretical scientists should considered. Why they need to waste their time on outside working?
In the end, whether the faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach is a quite complex problem. We must consider it in different situations, not just conclude as "all must".

vryUID: 2288609

Academic colleges and universities are places to educate students and to develop new science and technologies; professions are places to make products to fulfill customers’ needs.（还有services） Some of the academic subjects develop new technologies needed by the professions to improve their products' selling; other academic subjects just search new findings to add science knowledge. It is clear that the former type of faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions, but the latter need not.(这里对题目关键作出界定，明确了讨论的范围)
The faculties（，表示全体教员，用单数） of first type of subjects such as business, automatic, and medicine needs to contact with their relevant professions and even works in those professions for some time. Take a pharmacy professor for example. During his past years, he received plenty of awards by developing new antibiotic. He is proud of that and continued to develop newer antibiotics again and again by extremely hard work. He supposed to（sb. Be supposed to do sth.） receive more awards and money by doing so; however, he was disappointed after continuous working for several years because people need few antibiotics for its side-effect. This professor failed, however intelligence, for lacking the knowledge of people's demands. If he spends some time working in the relevant company, his tragedy would never happen.
Working outside the campus in relevant professions would not only made them understand the customers’ contemporary demands, but also finding some deficiencies to be resolve in their future studies. For example, an automatic professor found the car's engine has less efficiency during his working in the car's company. He ignited by some very good ideas to solve this problem. But if he always stays in his laboratory, he never had this opportunity.(这句话时态是不是有些问题？)
Academic colleges and universities' also have their duty to cultivate students to find a good job, which means professors working outside the campus would provide them more information about what kind of people the companies needs.（很好一点，学习了） Professors would use the most proper teaching method to educate their students to help them finding a good job in the market. That is actually why so many students want to go to college instead of working directly.
On the other hand, the second type of faculties （问题同上）such as mathematicians, archaeologist, and biologists need not to work outside the campus. What they do is nothing to do with the demands of the customs, but the science only.（这里你的问题就凸现出来了，把题目范围的缩小有利于论述，但是会在自己不知不觉间导致混乱，把整个学科的老师都划分到一类型，绝对的处理不容易避免例外的情况的考虑） Imagine what an astronomer should do? （少作类比，他们分属不同情形。。。argument的类比都会被批得很惨）Of course watch the space through the latest telescope. Is that means he must spend some time in a telescope company? No kidding, it is nothing to do with him, provide a latest telescope is their duty.（这里似乎说反了） What they should do is just using their knowledge to searcher（search） in the space for the space exploit（exploit名词是功勋，应为exploitation）.
Also, the theoretical scientists need not to care what their reaching would affect human society. (Also, the theoretical scientists need not to be/take care of how their reaching would affect human society.或者Also, the theoretical scientists need not to care what their reaching that would affect human society. ) What in front them is the (an ) unknown world. They do not know whether their researches are good or bad for the society. If they abandoned their researches just for the unknown threaten, the science would never made process because just as every coin has two sides, every process has two sides too. Machines brought convenience, at the same time, the greenhouse effect.( Machines brought about convenience as well as the greenhouse effect.或者 Machines brought convenience and, at the same time, the greenhouse effect.) The technologies with nuclear energy are not just the atomic bomb, but the less pollution nuclear power station. Using the science properly is the decided by technician's moral, by the society's value and the government's efforts,(这个排列有气势) but not the theoretical scientists should considered. Why they need to waste their time on outside working?（这样的反问最好放前面，段落的结尾要不是升华，要不是过度）
In the end, whether the faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach is a quite complex problem. （头重脚轻的句子阿）We must consider it in different situations, not just conclude as "all must".


整体结构很明晰。。。由于开头开得很好，这个好是指功能上的，但是，issue提倡的是多角度看问题，你用二分法来分，就有可能像那道just/unjust 的一样陷入错误。
并且你开头的明确二分局限了问题的深入。建议破题时候花3分钟在稿纸写出简短提纲~~~以此为纲指引全文。。。
句子结构错落有致，但是限时写作写长句不熟练的时候容易头昏，我就是这样，练习到有时间检查的那天，就是差不多游刃有余的那天

啊拉UID: 2527432

（8.6）issue50【超越自我小组】第二次作业

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."WORDS: 618          TIME: 01:03:21          DATE: 2008-8-6 19:19:52Academic colleges and universities are places to educate students and to develop new science and technologies; professions are places to make products to fulfill customers’ needs. Some of the academic subjects develop new technologies needed by the professions to improve their products' selling; other academic subjects just search new findings to add science knowledge. It is clear that the former type of faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions, but the latter need not.(干净的开头~有点范文的味道=.=)The faculties of first type of subjects such as business, automatic, and medicine needs to contact with their relevant professions and even works in those professions for some time. Take a pharmacy professor for example(个人建议把名字造出来…这样更给人感觉是在举例子). During his past years, he received plenty of awards by developing new antibiotic. He is proud of that and continued to develop newer antibiotics again and again by extremely hard work. He supposed to receive more awards and money by doing so; however, he was disappointed after continuous working for several years because people need few antibiotics for its side-effect. This professor failed, however intelligence, for lacking the knowledge of people's demands. If he spends some time working in the relevant company, his tragedy would never happen.(为什么他花时间在公司上就能避免悲剧的发生?这点应该交代,否则这个例子头重脚轻…可以把后面一段结合到前一段来说)Working outside the campus in relevant professions would not only made them understand the customers’ contemporary demands, but also finding some deficiencies to be resolve in their future studies. For example, an automatic professor found the car's engine has less efficiency during his working in the car's company. He ignited by some very good ideas to solve this problem. But if he always stays in his laboratory, he never had this opportunity.Academic colleges and universities' also have their duty to cultivate students to find a good job, which means professors working outside the campus would provide them more information about what kind of people the companies needs. Professors would use the most proper teaching method to educate their students to help them finding a good job in the market. That is actually why so many students want to go to college instead of working directly.On the other hand, the second type of faculties such as mathematicians, archaeologist, and biologists need not to work outside the campus. What they do is nothing to do with the demands of the customs, but the science only. Imagine what an astronomer should do? Of course watch the space through the latest telescope. Is that means he must spend some time in a telescope company? No kidding, it is nothing to do with him, provide a latest telescope is their duty. What they should do is just using their knowledge to search in the space for the space exploit.Also, the theoretical scientists need not to care what their researching would affect human society. What in front them is the unknown world. They do not know whether their researches are good or bad for the society. If they abandoned their researches just for the unknown threaten, the science would never made process because just as every coin has two sides(这句话以后千万不要说了…因为老外认为硬币立起来也算一面…), every process has two sides too. Machines brought convenience, at the same time, the greenhouse effect. The technologies with nuclear energy are not just the atomic bomb, but the less pollution nuclear power station. Using the science properly is the decided by technician's moral, by the society's value and the government's efforts, but not the theoretical scientists should considered. Why they need to waste their time on outside working?(这一段有点感觉云里雾里…全文都在论证课内课外的问题,怎么突然扯到研究上去了…中心句如果是最后一句还情有可原…前两句就跑题了…虽然我了解是要和前面那种学科作对比~由于没有必要关心对人们的影响所以不用去其他领域~)In the end, whether the faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach is a quite complex problem. We must consider it in different situations, not just conclude as "all must".

首先说一句:真长……全文的行文更感觉是中文中的散文,形散神不散…这样的写作风格突破了模板的束缚所以容易解放思路拿到高分…貌似是受了无夏的影响~不过这样分领域式讨论貌似有点耗时间…