COMEON小组--------作业 8.27 Chineselady

chineseladyUID: 2403976

Movies and televisions have more positive or negative effects on young people’s behaviors. (2007.4.21,技术进步类)

From the silence movies appeared in the World War Two, people’s lives have been shown on the screen, meanwhile, it is the sign of the improvement of human beings’ wisdom. With the development of society and civilization, everything has been changed including movie. Silence films were replaced by documentary, scary and love movies, and at the same time, black and white picture became color one. Because the more complicated lives in modern communities, the movies are not only simply show people’s daily lives, on the other hand, movies, at present, have developed into a culture, which shows as one of the industries in one country. Therefore, being part of culture, I agree that movie and televisions have effects on the young in both positive and negative ways.

In the first place, movies and televisions with good stories, like how to fight with disease or how do people do when face to failure, would bring an active attitude to young people. Last year in China, there was a movie focused on a girl without arms but became a swimming athlete touched people’s hearts. The picture concerning she did not quit even almost drowned impressed the audiences a lot. No one will forget a young disable woman with an optimal character. I think the story like that will bring young people more encouragement.

In the second place, some movies may lead to misunderstanding or negative to the young. Right now, the similar stories are adopted by Hollywood, for instance, boyfriends and girlfriends live together before get married, sometimes they know each other just for several days. That will make young people think it is common and feel cool to follow this tendency, especially the advertisement about abortion give them an excuse to do. Some young women had several times to stop pregnancy, which result in the losing chance to be a mother when they really want. Most times, modern is not the truth young group should pursue.

In my view, young people can have their own wisdom instead of following what they feel good. The movies and televisions have positive and negative results, however, the younth should chose the active one to be influenced.

tclrjtclrjUID: 2517750

大致看了一下，第一个单词用since比较好，首段过长，而且与主题无关，导致整个文章一眼看上去头重脚轻，望LZ斟酌。结尾段也有些问题，感觉有点谁主动谁被动搞反了。

qiaoxsh07UID: 2374361

Movies and televisions have more positive or negative effects on young people’s behaviors. (2007.4.21,技术进步类)|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREC(z[
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From the silence movies appeared in the World War Two, people’s lives have been shown on the screen, meanwhile, it is the sign of the improvement of human beings’ wisdom. With the development of society and civilization, everything has been changed including movie. Silence films were replaced by documentary, scary and love movies, and at the same time, black and white picture became color one. Because the more complicated lives in modern communities, the movies are not only simply show people’s daily lives, on the other hand, movies, at present, have developed into a culture, which shows as one of the industries in one country. Therefore, being part of culture, I agree that movie and televisions have effects on the young in both positive and negative ways.(第一段描述的挺好，但最好开门见山)学|签证
|TOEFL|GRErjk5}A2Ab&HbB&I

the first place, movies and televisions with good stories, like how to fight with disease or how do（do 去掉,how改成what） people do when face to(facing) failure, would bring an active attitude to young people. Last year in China, there was a movie focused on a girl without arms but became a swimming athlete touched people’s hearts.(touched people's hearts 好，学习) The picture concerning she did not quit even almost drowned impressed the audiences a lot.（你看这样改行不，The scene that she did not quit even almost drowned impressed the audiences a lot） No one will forget a young disable woman with an optimal character. I think(尽量把think换掉，表达think的词很多，比如，maintain, believe,assume....) the story like that will bring young people more encouragement.

In the second place, (这个和第一段不是并列关系，最好用转折词However,)some movies may lead to misunderstanding or negative(negative是adj,换n.) to the young. Right now, the similar stories are adopted by Hollywood, for instance, boyfriends and girlfriends live together before get(getting) married, sometimes they know each other just for several days. That will make young people think it is common and feel cool to follow this tendency, especially the advertisement about abortion give them an excuse to do. Some young women had several times to stop pregnancy, which result in the losing chance(,which result in losing the chance) to be a mother when they really want. Most times, modern(这个词好像有点奇怪) is not the truth young group should pursue.

学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USALP0W5S        w9G:h sc
In my view, young people can have their own wisdom instead of following what they feel good. The movies and televisions have positive and negative results, however, the younth should chose the active one to be influenced.(结尾段应该再推敲下)

总的思路是清楚的，个别有点小的语法问题。一起加油