COMEON作文小组9.11号作业－yangkeli22

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

There are times in your life when you need to make a choice, most of the time, it is hard to decide which one to choose. In this case, advice from others means crucial to you. Some people hold the opinion that getting advice from the older friends is more valuable, while, on the opposite, others believe that getting advice from friends at your age is worthwhile. For me, I can't agree with the former assertion any more.
First, the older friends have more experiences than your peer. The older ones have got though the period you suffering now, therefore, they know what you thinking and how your feeling now. Their experience will give you valuable advice you want and will deal with problems you encounter now. Take finding jobs for instance, you must have so many choices that you don't even know which company to choose, you don't know what you will learn there, what you will do there, how much freedom will give you for your mind. At this time, your older friends who have worked there will solve your puzzles instantly and will offer you better advice. While, your peers, who stay at the college as you do, have no experience of working, not to speak of mentioning useful advice.
Second, the older friends' advice will help you think things you need to do more discreet. As they went thought substantial amounts of things, they must know some problems emerge in this process or after the process. In this way, their advice means critical to you. Take interview for example, people need to take interview sooner or later when they step into society, for audition, for better job, for fame. The older friends who coped with those knowing what kind of clothes you need to wear, what kind of things you need to remember. Those are indeed trifles, be that as they may, they depend on whether you can stand upon your peers or your competitors. Their suggestions are key to you before you take the interview.
Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I might reasonable make a conclusion that older friends advice weights more than your peers.

qawsedUID: 2359935

COMEON作文小组9.11号作业－yangkeli22


There are times in your life when you need to make a choice, most of the time, it is hard to decide which one to choose前面那句确定对吗？  In this case, advice from others means crucial to you. Some people hold the opinion that getting advice from the older friends is more valuable, while, on the opposite, others believe that getting advice from friends at your age is worthwhile. For me, I can't agree with the former assertion any more（in some cases）.观点是不是反了？你是同意old 还是young？和后面不符哦

First, the older friends have more experiences than your peer. The older ones have got though the period you suffering now(experienced the stuff you are sufering now), therefore, they know what you are thinking and how is your feeling now. Their experience will give you valuable advice you want and will deal with problems you encounter now. Take finding jobs for instance, you must have so many choices that you don't even know which company to choose, you don't know what you will learn there, what you will do there, how much freedom will give you for your mind. At this time, your older friends who have worked there will solve your puzzles instantly and will offer you better advice. While, your peers, who stay at the college as you do, have no experience of working, not to speak of mentioning useful advice.

Second, the older friends' advice will help you think things you need to do more discreetly. As they went thought substantial amounts of things, they must know some problems emerge in this process or after the process. In this way, their advice means critical to you. Take interview for example, people need to take interview sooner or later when they step into society, for audition, for better job, for fame. The older friends who coped with those knowing what kind of clothes you need to wear, what kind of things you need to remember. Those are indeed trifles, be that as they may, they depend on whether you can stand upon your peers or your competitors. Their suggestions are key to you before you take the interview.说完例子最好再论证下，这样比较严密些
Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I might reasonable make a conclusion that older friends advice weights more than your peers.
lz语言需要再加强些，有些句子语法需要加强，比如副词修饰动词，复合句的用法等等，推荐你个我最近发现的比较好的作文句子，可以看下，共同努力！

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

感谢qawsed的修改和提出的建议，我会尽量注意自己的句法。
There are times when……是在XDF上课时老师有提到的，不过in your life就是自己加上去的了，不知道妥当不妥当。
至于I can't agree with xxx any more, 我记得学这短语时的意思是我非常同意xxx，但刚才上网查了好像意思反了，难道原来学的不对吗？看来这个表达还要慎用啊！
谢谢版主的分享，学习了，呵呵:handshake