【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】 12.18作业

ningstoryUID: 2548108

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are busy doing different things that they can do few things well.

There is a statement that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. This statement means that in order to do things well, people should spend their energy on a few things they do.
There is no need for me to emphasis the importance of concentrating your energy if you want to do some things well. I am agreeing with the statement because the ability of one people is limited. If any one spends their limited energy on too many things, every thing will be done in very little energy, and the things are difficulty to be done well. One example is the final exam in the end of semester. There are many course should tested, such as physics, chemistry, math, and so on. We always feel difficult to get a high score if there three or four courses be tested in one week, because we have not enough time and energy to review every course well. However, if there is only one course being tested in one week, we will find it is easy to review well and get a satisfied score.  Another example is that scientist usually research on a special topic in all life. We seldom hear that a successful scientist change their research topic frequently. So, and I agree the statement that people seldom doing things well if they are busy doing different things.
On the other hand, we need to admit the fact that some people will also doing many things well although they dinging many different things. These people are always genius or very interested the things they do. A well known example is Leonardo Da Vinci, who is a very famous artist because his paints such as Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. However, he is also a musician, inventor, philosopher and so on. He has done many different things, and was succeed in many filed.  
Generally, I am agree the opinion that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. But, I think some genius like Leonardo Da Vinci will be beyond the  people I mentioned.  


[ 本帖最后由 ningstory 于 2008-12-18 21:05 编辑 ]

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

从总体到个别做了让步，挺好的。

Amber0926UID: 2555355

There is a statement that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. This statement means that in order to do things well, people should spend their energy on a few things they do.
There is no need for me to emphasis the importance of concentrating your energy（这用法有点怪，中国人逻辑缺少宾语concentrate 。。。on one thing） if you want to do some things well. I am agreeing with the statement because the ability of one people（一个人直接用someone啦） is limited. If any one spends their（单复数问题） limited energy on too many things, every thing will be done in very little energy, and the things are difficulty to be done well. One example is the final exam in the end of semester. There are many course （+es）should tested, such as physics, chemistry, math, and so on. We always feel difficult to get a high score if there three or four courses be tested in one week, because we have not enough time and energy to review every course well. However, if there is only one course being tested in one week, we will find it is easy to review well and get a satisfied score.  Another example is that scientist usually research on a special topic in all life. We seldom hear that a successful scientist change their research topic frequently.（用到装效果会更好哦） So, and I agree the statement that people seldom doing things well if they are busy doing different things.bbs.gter.
On the other hand, we need to admit the fact that some people will also doing many things well although they dinging many different things. These people are always genius or very interested the things they do. A well known example is Leonardo Da Vinci, who is a very famous artist because his paints such as Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. However, he is also a musician, inventor, philosopher and so on. He has done many different things, and was succeed in many filed.  
Generally, I am agree the opinion that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. But, I think some genius like Leonardo Da Vinci will be beyond the  people I mentioned.
注意句式的多变‘
平时语法的小错误也尽量避免会更好
另外第二段的开头点题和结尾总结的模式很好！
开头有点单薄有重复可以写得漂亮点，给rater个好印象

无音萧UID: 2518358

There is a statement that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. This statement means, to a great extent, that in order to do things well, people should spend their energy on a few things they do. （此句话太绝对，建议加个to a great extent）(另外，我觉得在首段说明自己立场比较好)

There is no need for me to emphasis the importance of concentrating your energy if you want to do some things well. （可改为，We can never emphasize the importance of concontrating energy too much if you want to do some things well.当然你原来的也没错，不过句式可以变化）I am agreeing with the statement because the ability of one people is limited. If any one spends(建议可以用disperse, 可以生动些) their limited energy on too many things, every thing will be done in very little energy, and the things are difficulty to be done well. （语法句式都没错，但是很中国。可以尝试用复杂句连起来。比如，provided that one disperses his limited energy on too many things, then on average, the energy can be spent on each piece of thing is fractional, resulting that no one piece can be done well eventually. 不一定就是好句，但是看起来结构就紧凑很多。）
One example is the final exam in the end of semester. There are many course should tested, such as physics, chemistry, math, and so on. We always feel difficult to get a high score if there three or four courses be tested in one week, because we have not enough time and energy to review every course well. However, if there is only one course being tested in one week, we will find it is easy to review well and get a satisfied score.（不要总是用if, 可以用倒装句，Were there only one course being tested in one week, we should find it easier to review well and get a satisfied score.）
Another example is that scientist usually research on(不够生动，可以考虑devote themselves to a specific topic). We seldom hear that a successful scientist change their research topic frequently. (仅作参考Seldom do we hear that )So, and I agree the statement that people seldom doing things well if they are busy doing different things.

此段总结：例子举得比较恰当，但建议可以用反证法，比如科学家的例子，你可以说如果他同时兼顾几个领域会怎样怎样。句式总体感觉变化不大，有时候稍显冗长，显得松散，建议使用复杂句连接
另外一个是，只有一个分论点好像有点单薄

On the other hand, we need to admit the fact that some people will also doing many things well although they dinging many different things. These people are always genius or very interested the things they do. A well known example is Leonardo Da Vinci, who is a very famous artist because his paints such as Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. However, he is also a musician, inventor, philosopher and so on. He has done many different things, and was succeed in many filed.
（这段我觉得不错，使文章有严谨性，但缺点是略长，会弱化文章主题，建议在此段最后绕回主题。比如说：毕竟不是每个人都是Leonardo Da Vinci, bla bla bla….）

Generally, I am agree the opinion that people are busy doing different things that can do few things well. But, I think some genius like Leonardo Da Vinci will be beyond the  people I mentioned.

好了，我很认真地改了~~~有些仅仅是一家之言，如有不同意见，请提出来哈~~

[ 本帖最后由 无音萧 于 2008-12-19 09:03 编辑 ]

ningstoryUID: 2548108

很高兴能得到两位的批改， 谢谢大家的帮助和关心！

ningstoryUID: 2548108

嘿嘿，改的真好！受益匪浅啊！