【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】12.30号作业

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

As the rapid development of the modern technology, the environment is destroyed. We human beings appeal to protect environment. Tremendous amount of trees are cut off for furniture or paper materials like Christmas cards. The environment is suffered from the human behavior of the nature. Our economic development is base on environment destroyed. Should government alternate attention from economic development to environment protect? As the technology is double-edge sworn, we human can decrease its disadvantaged aspect and increase its advantage side. Thus, at this moment, government should pay more attention to environment problems.
In my view, the in order to increase the environment condition, we human should no longer use fuel, instead, no pollution energy like hydrogen and natural gas should be widely used. What is more, as the change of the energy, internationally commercial trade like fuel car would be taken place by hydrogen consume car.  Albeit this will cause a period of car in low sell, after that, more environment-friendly cars will in commercial trade. I definitely acknowledge the change is benefit although it may cause a period of financial depression.
Otherwise, economic development could work with environment problem. As human require researching new energy, more money would devoted to research center. While a new material is discovered, it will benefit to economic increase. Thus, more factories will set up, more people will get a job. The world is changed, as the new non pollution energy invent. So, government should pay more attention to environment problem. In that case, economic will develop as well as environment problems are solution.
Sum up, as the development of the technology and economic based on environment pollution, government should definitely pay more attention to environment problem.

hustly0415UID: 2407456

As the rapid development of the modern technology(应该用with吧), the environment is destroyed. We human beings appeal to protect environment. Tremendous amount of trees are cut off for furniture or paper materials like Christmas cards. The environment is suffered from the human behavior of the nature. Our economic development is based on environment destroyed. Should government alternate attention from economic development to environment protect? As the technology is double-edge sworn, we human can decrease its disadvantaged aspect and increase its advantage side. Thus, at this moment, government should pay more attention to environment problems.

In my view, the in order to increase the environment condition, we human should no longer use fuel, instead, no pollution energy like hydrogen and natural gas should be widely used. What is more, as the change of the energy, internationally commercial trade like fuel car would be taken place by hydrogen consume car. Albeit this will cause a period of car in low sell( 句子好像有点读不通的样子), after that, more environment-friendly cars will be in commercial trade. I definitely acknowledge the change is benefitial although it may cause a period of financial depression.

Otherwise, economic development could work with environment problem. As human require researching new energy, more money would be  devoted to research center. While a new material is discovered, it will benefit to economic increase. Thus, more factories will set up, more people will get a job. The world is changed, as the new non pollution energy invent. So, government should pay more attention to environment problem. In that case, economic will develop as well as environment problems are solution（solved）.

Sum up, as the development of the technology and economic based on environment pollution, government should definitely pay more attention to environment problem.

也许你是在尝试新的作文习惯吧，我以前拍过你的作文，感觉这篇文章完全不像你以前的作文风格。

其中有一些语法错误以及常见的单词错误，已经标示出来了。

论证感觉稍微显得单薄了一些。

[ 本帖最后由 hustly0415 于 2008-12-31 19:43 编辑 ]

james011137UID: 2280989

As the rapid development of the modern technology, the environment is destroyed. We human beings appeal to protect environment. Tremendous amount of trees are cut off for furniture or paper materials like Christmas cards. The environment is suffered from the human behavior of destroying the nature. Obviously, our economic development is base on environment destroyed. Should government alternate attention from economic development to environment protect? As the technology is double-edge sworn, we human can decrease its disadvantaged aspect and increase its advantage side. Thus, at this moment, government should pay more attention to environment problems.第一段太长了，引出话题显得十分啰嗦家园1Wq,W7kH*ul5F/[
In my view, the in order to increase the environment condition, we human 直接改为humanbeing得了should no longer use fuel, instead, no pollution energy like hydrogen and natural gas should be widely used. What is more, as the change of the energy, internationally commercial trade like fuel car would be taken place by hydrogen consume car.  Albeit this will cause a period of car in low sell, after that, more environment-friendly cars will in commercial trade. I definitely acknowledge the change is benefit although it may cause a period of financial depression.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA1^2I{S"[5\ xO
Otherwise, economic development could work withwork with 有着手处理的意思嘛？environment problem. As human require researching new energy, more money would devoted to research center. While a new material is discovered, it will benefit to economic increase. Thus, more factories will set up, more people will （get a） job. The world is changed, as the new non pollution energy invent. So, government should pay more attention to environment problem. In that case, economic will develop as well as environment problems are solution.寄托家园,^+gE        X,v
Sum up, as the development of the technology and economic based on environment pollution, government should definitely pay more attention to environment problem
论述有点淡薄，头重脚轻，另外是不是有点跑题了?题目讲得是政府在是不是应该花更大力气在环境上，而你的题目更多的讨论保护环境应该怎样做怎样做
不好意思，改晚了哈:rolleyes:

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

谢谢你的细心修改,最近一直想向GRE作文靠拢,无论是思想还是语言.
可能有些表达匪夷所思,不好意思,过渡阶段有点尴尬!
如果能给点意见就好了!
谢谢!