Argument111【0906G ANap Hand 作文互改小组】第三次作业 by goingeast

goingeastUID: 2439824

【529】 本篇文章是与Irvine 讨论后，耗时一个多小时，写的文章，这是我的目标！还有许多不足之处请大家狠批！谢谢咯
The vice president recommends that Dura-Sock (DS) can increase its profits by discontinuing its use of the "Endure" manufacturing process, To bolster the recommend, the vice president cites a new recent study about what the customers care about when they buy socks and how often the customers buy socks. However just logical this argument may be, it only skims the surface of the problem.

First of all, the author says DS has always advertised its use of the “Endure" process, I think that's very important factor, because of this, the endure character of socks has gone deep in people's mind. They begin to choose those socks whose color and stylish appearance are in vogue. The author fails to take into account this possibility and overlook how the ads effect on people's subconsciousness.

Secondly, even if the advertisement has no effect, the study which author cited cannot explain people ignores the "Endure" quality of DS. On the one hand, people purchases new DS every three months give no sense in people do not care about the "Endure" quality, and there is no evidence to say when a customer buy new socks he would throw away the old socks. Moreover, different seasons the socks must have different thickness to suit the temperature, thus people buy new DS every three months is indispensable and normal. On the other hand, either, we cannot conclude that customers have no demand in endurance by they value DS's stylish appearance and availability in many colors. Conspicuously, many sock company also can produce the colorful and fashionable socks. Perhaps the lasting endurance serves the foundation on which they buy variegated brands and appearance. Therefore, discontinuing its use of the "Endure" manufacturing process is not feasible.

Thirdly, the author refers the survey in the largest market northeastern United States cities to account for people ignore "endure" quality. Even though, in this market the customers of DS really most value DS's stylish appearance and availability in many colors, it is doubtful if they are representative enough to reflect the general thought of all customers as a whole, and whether the responders are all credible, perhaps they are not buyer or even they have no idea of the DS. Hence, the survey is unstable without information about whether these customers in it are random selection and the whole market percentage of that largest market.

Finally, the argument committed a fallacy of gratuitous assumption that discontinuing the use of the “endure" manufacturing process certainly increase DS’s profit. Discontinuing the use of "endure" process would to some sense decrease the quality of socks, thus the company will certainly loss the consumers who value the endure of socks. In addition, because the "endure "manufacturing process has already been spend for its patents, discontinuing its use undoubtedly makes a great waste .Therefore, the conditions discussed above make the company impossible to increase the profit.

Judging form all evidence offered, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To strength his assertion, the vice president should provide more information to prove valid of the survey and the study and rule out other factors that will give rise to the increase of profit in DS Company.

goingeastUID: 2439824

我先说下  结尾略显单薄 呵呵！

roinyouUID: 2447501

这篇文章写的很不错，6分应该是可以拿到的。
不过有点需要探讨一下，第一个理由，我觉得作者不是说广告没有作用，而是想说广告表现在endurance方面没有作用，个人见解，不过我想你写的也是没有问题的，呵呵;)
最后一段，应该strengthen的最好能把第一个理由，还有最后一个理由也加进去，这样比较全面，也不会显得你有虎头蛇尾的嫌疑。
下面是两个语法问题，不是大碍，在1，3段。
The vice president recommends that Dura-Sock (DS) can increase its profits by discontinuing its use of the "Endure" manufacturing process, To bolster the recommend, the vice president cites a new recent study about what the customers care about when they buy socks and how often the customers buy socks. However just logical this argument may be, it only skims the surface of the problem.

Secondly, even if the advertisement has no effect, the study which author cited/cites cannot explain people ignores the "Endure" quality of DS. On the one hand, people purchases new DS every three months give no sense in people do not care about the "Endure" quality, and there is no evidence to say when a customer buy new socks he would throw away the old socks. Moreover, different seasons the socks must have different thickness to suit the temperature, thus people buy new DS every three months is indispensable and normal. On the other hand, either, we cannot conclude that customers have no demand in endurance by they value DS's stylish appearance and availability in many colors. Conspicuously, many sock company also can produce the colorful and fashionable socks. Perhaps the lasting endurance serves the foundation on which they buy variegated brands and appearance. Therefore, discontinuing its use of the "Endure" manufacturing process is not feasible.<br />
;)

最后祝你越写越好，大家共同进步，新年快乐！

[ 本帖最后由 roinyou 于 2008-12-31 23:46 编辑 ]