issue154 我的第一篇 写了那么久还是很不好 请大家多多指教一下 感激...

renruisiUID: 208527

Issue154 我的第一篇 挑了一道最简单的题 写了那么久还是很不好
请大家指教一下吧 我8.25考还是没什么头绪心里很着急  谢谢大家了

"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

  I agree with the speaker that education shouldn't leave only to the professional educators. Education is a significant thing the purpose of which is not only to impart knowledge to the children but also to teach character. So it needs schools, parents and communities to work together.
  Admittedly, school plays an active part in education. With its academic phenomenon the school is an ideal place for study. Its systematic teaching methods and good facilities help students learn more effectively. In school, one can share ideas with other students and find better ways to solve the problem. Also the school provides the students a good environment to compete with each other so that one can have great progress.
  However, we shouldn't ignore the role of the parents from whom students learn many things that are impossible to get from the teachers especially when they are young. Parents always want their children to be healthy, happy and successful but none of this happens automatically. It takes careful attention and great efforts of the parents to accomplish this crucial task. In order to do that, parents should teach children character by telling them what true and false is, what beauty and ugliness is. And as the saying goes, example is better than precept. Children hardly take one thing seriously unless they see their parents doing it earnestly in their day-to-day affairs. So it is of great importance for the parents to be a good model for their children. Except for the character teaching, there are some students who can not study at school by some reasons. In this way parents also need to try to teach them the courses of science and humanities at home. As we know, Edison was taught by his mother at home and with his own efforts he became one of the famous inventor of the world.
  Besides, communities should be involved in the local schools because after graduating from school everyone will enter a society. First, when we are at school we should take part in some activities in the society so as to improve our ability of communication with others. Second, we must know how the society works and what it needs so that we can make ourselves more adaptable to the cruel competitive condition. In sum, with the education of the community we can come into contact with the society and acquire much valuable experience and capability.
   All in all, the living environment of people is made up of three parts—the school, the family and the community. Each of them should be responsible for the education.

staralwaysUID: 193479

"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

I agree with the speaker that education shouldn't leave only to the professional educators. Education is a significant thing the purpose of which is not only to impart knowledge to the children but also to teach character. [help them develop healthy characters.] So it needs schools, parents and communities to work together. [开门见山地提出观点。]

Admittedly, school plays an active part in education. With its academic phenomenon [这个词放在这里什么意思？] the school is an ideal place for study. Its systematic teaching methods and good facilities help students learn more effectively. In school, one can share ideas with other students and find better ways to solve the problem. Also the school provides the students a good environment to compete with each other so that one can have great progress.

However, we shouldn't ignore the role of the parents from whom students learn many things that are impossible to get from the teachers especially when they are young. Parents always want their children to be healthy, happy and successful but none of this happens automatically. It takes careful attention and great efforts of the parents to accomplish this crucial task. In order to do that, parents should teach children character by telling them what true and false is, what beauty and ugliness is. And as the saying goes, example is better than precept. Children hardly take one thing seriously unless they see their parents doing it earnestly in their day-to-day affairs. So it is of great importance for the parents to be a good model for their children. Except for the character teaching, there are some students who cannot study at school by some reasons. In this way parents also need to try to teach them the courses of science and humanities at home. As we know, Edison was taught by his mother at home and with his own efforts he became one of the famous inventor of the world. [觉得相对于说理来说，这一段关于例子的内容稍微少了一点。]

Besides, communities should be involved in the local schools because after graduating from school everyone will enter a [the] society. First, when we are at school we should take part in some activities in the society so as to improve our ability of communication with others. Second, we must know how the society works and what it needs so that we can make ourselves more adaptable to the cruel competitive condition. In sum, with the education of the community we can come into contact with the society and acquire much valuable experience and capability. [可以考虑举个简短的例子。]

All in all, the living environment of people is made up of three parts—the school, the family and the community. Each of them should be responsible for the education. [结尾还是再适当扩充一下为好。]