iussue177 熊熊的互拍小组--08日同主题写作 必回！

purple1228UID: 2116196

希望大家多多赐教！郁闷，怎么就觉不出来自己文章分了层捏...:L

What the study of an academic discipline offers us, and to what degree it changes us? The answers of both questions depend on different experience one holds. Some may think that the study just aggrandize the burden they hold but actually useless in the suing days. Whereas I strongly agreed with the speaker's assertion that the study of an academic discipline will doubtless influence the way we observe the world around us more or less, regardless of the degree you put yourself in.

Firstly, it is no doubt that the new academic discipline will offer us some kinds of concepts, rules, which we may never thought before--or at least we are never aware of them. The world may remains the same, but on perceive from us, it turns to be different, in both the way different people observes and the way we learning the academic discipline before and after. That is the way we contribute to the world we appreciate. Then, the different brings us prosperity in different realms. The degree differs because of the degree altering of our learning and comprehension. Newton, treated as the greatest scientist in the world, discovered the gravity of the world due not only to his curiosity but also, which should be considered more, to the base on his knowledge of physics and mathematics.

Moreover, the study of a new academic discipline will even help us in the knowledge we have established already. Take the glorious work, Around the World in 80 Days written by Verne for example. Without the knowledge including different cultures and customs accumulated during the rough time on abroad, none can imagine such a vivid picture based on a rigid fact, even holding an endless imagination. Regardless of the hard work, the worldwide fame might nevertheless come to him. To better illustrate it, Bach, one of the most famous musician in the world, who left us his magical music symphonies for us, deserve a close scrutiny. The fantastic music, however, was found that was relevant to mathematic rules!

On the other hand, even if one treats the study of an academic discipline not serious at all, the potential in it can ever influence the way he or she look at the world, meanwhile, it is quite possible that he or she thinks the world remains the same, but in fact not. The study of an academic discipline has its magic to influence--at least to some degree--the way people think and act into a rigid mode, even they are not aware of that.

To sum up, we gained a lot by learning an academic discipline while the same world could totally been changed, or at least being influenced -- the degree of it depends on how hard one studies it and how much he or she absorbs from it. [472]

dapopiUID: 191236

偶不是熊族的，不过今天看了你们好多文章，也拍一下吧



What the study of an academic discipline offers us, and to what degree it changes us? The answers of both questions depend on different experience one holds. Some may think that the study just aggrandize the burden they hold but actually useless in the suing days.没人这么想吧，有没话找话的嫌疑 Whereas I strongly agreed with the speaker's assertion that the study of an academic discipline will doubtless influence the way we observe the world around us more or less, regardless of the degree you put yourself in.

Firstly, it is no doubt that the new academic discipline will offer us some kinds of concepts, rules, which we may never thought before--or at least we are never aware of them. The world may remains the same, but on perceive from us, it turns to be different, in both the way different people observes and the way we learning the academic discipline before and after. That is the way we contribute to the world we appreciate. Then, the different brings us prosperity in different realms. The degree differs because of the degree altering of our learning and comprehension. Newton, treated as one ofthe greatest scientist in the world, discoveredreveal the gravity of the world due not only to his curiosity but also, which should be considered more, to the base on his knowledge of physics and mathematics. 感觉例子不是很好的说

Moreover, the study of a new academic discipline will even also比even好一点，help us in the knowledge we have established already. Take the glorious work, Around the World in 80 Days"" written by Verne for example. Without the knowledge including different cultures and customs accumulated during the rough time on abroad, none can imagine such a vivid picture based on a rigid fact, even holding an endless imagination. Regardless of the hard work, the worldwide fame might nevertheless come to him.这个例子还是有问题 To better illustrate it, Bach, one of the most famous musician in the world, who left us his magical music symphonies for us, deserve a close scrutiny. The fantastic music, however, was found that was relevant to mathematic rules! 这个例子不错，感觉可以展开一点

On the other hand, even if one treats the study of an academic discipline not serious at all, the potential in it can ever influence the way he or she look at the world, meanwhile, it is quite possible that he or she thinks the world remains the same, but in fact not. The study of an academic discipline has its magic to influence--at least to some degree--the way people think and act into a rigid mode, even they are not aware of that.

To sum up, we gained a lot by learning an academic discipline while the same world could totally been changed, or at least being influenced -- the degree of it depends on how hard one studies it and how much he or she absorbs from it.


总的感觉楼主的论证思路不是很清晰的说，same world的和主题的关系问题没怎么看明白，是不是我比较笨的原因（汗～）。
再有就是篇幅短了点，很多可以扩展的地方没写到，可能是限时的原因


PS
最好把题也贴上^_^

sebarinaUID: 2108158

新人~俺就拍一下好了
我向来比较狠~别怕疼
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What the study of an academic discipline offers us, and to what degree it changes us? 这是问句么，谓语和主语怎么弄得？The answers of both questions depend on different experience one holds. Some may think that the study just aggrandize the burden they hold but actually useless in the suing days这个短语是什么意思？想知道……. Whereas I strongly agreed with the speaker's assertion that the study of an academic discipline will 时态前面agreed后面用will？doubtless influence the way we observe the world around us more or less, regardless of the degree you put yourself yourself是什么咚咚？你是在说ETS主考官？修瑞已经说过了这种第二人称禁用in.

Firstly, it is no doubt that the new academic discipline will offer us some kinds of concepts, rules, which we may never thought before--or at least we are never aware of them.不错中心句很好 The world may remains the same, but on perceive from us, it turns to be different, in both the way different people observes and the way we learning the academic discipline before and after. 你这个状语太长了~想办法用从句表达That is the way we contribute to the world we appreciate. Then, the different brings us prosperity in different realms. The degree differs because of the degree altering of our learning and comprehension. Newton, treated as the greatest scientist in the world, discovered the gravity of the world due not only to his curiosity but also, which should be considered more, to the base on his knowledge of physics and mathematics. 略略总结一下会很好

Moreover, the study of a new academic discipline will even help us in the knowledge we have established already. 不错Take the glorious work, Around the World in 80 Days written by Verne for example. Without the knowledge including different cultures and customs accumulated during the rough time on abroad, none can imagine such a vivid picture based on a rigid fact, even holding an endless imagination. 很好Regardless of the hard work, the worldwide fame might nevertheless come to him. To better illustrate it, Bach, one of the most famous musician in the world, who left us his magical music symphonies for us小心用例子巴赫好像不写交响乐, deserve a close scrutiny. The fantastic music, however, was found that was relevant to mathematic rules! 有考证么？微软百科里没有写~不知道哪里看到的~如果能用回个贴吧:)

On the other hand, even if one treats the study of an academic discipline not serious at all, the potential in it can ever influence the way he or she look at the world, meanwhile,连词 it is quite possible that he or she thinks the world remains the same, but in fact not. The study of an academic discipline has its magic to influence--at least to some degree--the way people think and act into a rigid mode, even they are not aware of that.这一段并不是很明白你在说什么

To sum up, we gained a lot by learning an academic discipline while the same world could totally been changed, or at least being influenced -- the degree of it depends on how hard one studies it and how much he or she absorbs from it. [472]

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看看置顶的发帖格式~
这种文章比较晦涩最好给一个提纲~

觉得你的文章还是比较好中间那段我真是喜欢
建议语言上再下点功夫~而且最好把语法错误改完再放上来~不然太多了熊熊会看不下去的

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可能拍狠了~
可以回来狠狠拍我！点击：
issue177

purple1228UID: 2116196

真的是很感谢很感谢楼上的两位,呵呵,有点beyond words了.恩,按建议重改如下.Bach那个不假,只不过当时实在忘了该用什么词了:$中文译过来叫平均律,英文就如文中所示啦.恩,发现自己问题多多,也知道语法太烂,被高中英语老师知道了一定当场昏厥:L:L 单词拼写烂加语法烂以及最要命的打字慢,郁闷的我只有崩溃的份了,另外,其实首段里的"some"正是鄙人捏:L 有些东西就是不喜欢,但不是一样要硬着头皮撑下去么?比如GRE考试...
呵呵,小感慨了一下,其实没有什么是可以用来托辞的,不管多难,不还是要走下去么?自己勉励自己一下,同时也给或者同样处于绝望的人找找自信哈.

What the study of an academic discipline offering us? And to what degree it changes us? The answers of both questions depend on different experience one holds. Some may think that the study just aggrandize the burden they hold but actually useless in the ensuing days. Whereas I strongly agree with the speaker's assertion that the study of an academic discipline will doubtless influence the way we observe the world around us more or less, regardless of the degree we put ourselves in.

Firstly, it is no doubt that the new academic discipline will offer us some kinds of concepts, rules, which we may never thought before--or at least we are never aware of them. The world may remains the same, but on perceive from us, it turns to be different, in ways that different people observes, and in the ways we learning the academic discipline before and after. That is the way we contribute to the world we appreciate. Then, the different brings us prosperity in different realms. The degree differs because of the degree altering of our learning and comprehension. Newton, treated as one of the greatest scientists in the world, revealed the gravity of the world due not only to his curiosity but also, which should be considered more, to the base on his knowledge of physics and mathematics. Meanwhile, the mathematical method to solve the more profound work behind it had not come to world which halts the completion of this theory.

Moreover, the study of a new academic discipline will even help us in the knowledge we have established already. Take the glorious work, Around the World in 80 Days written by Verne for example. Without the knowledge including different cultures and customs accumulated during the rough time on aboard, none can imagine such a vivid picture merely based on rigid facts, even holding an endless imagination. Regardless of the hard work, the worldwide fame might nevertheless come to him. In other words, his success in literature was justified and enriched by the abundant knowledge he gained. To better illustrate this issue, Bach, one of the most famous musician in the world, who left us his magical music –the well-tempered clavier-- for us, deserved a close scrutiny. The fantastic music, however, was found that was relevant to mathematical exactitude! In short, studying in other realm may provide one a broader horizon and arouse new inspiration to the same world.

On the other hand, even if one treats the study of an academic discipline not serious at all, the potential in it can ever influence the way he or she look at the world, meanwhile, it is quite possible that he or she thinks the world remains the same, but in fact not. The study of an academic discipline has its magic to influence--at least to some degree--the way people think and act into a different mode which would be more objective and more authentic, even they are conscious.

To sum up, we gained a lot by learning an academic discipline while the same world could totally been changed, or at least being influenced -- the degree of it depends on how hard one studies it and how much he or she absorbs from it.

sebarinaUID: 2108158

念你回改认真~熊熊再帮你看看;P付出总有收获的嘿嘿~
What 谓语？the study of an academic discipline offering us? And to what degree it changes usdoes it change us~建议你看看语法书~这种比较基本的错误不要犯? The answers of both questions depend on different experience one holds. Some may think that the study just aggrandize the burden they hold but actually useless in the ensuing days. Whereas I strongly agree with the speaker's assertion that the study of an academic discipline will doubtless influence the way we observe the world around us more or less, regardless of the degree we put ourselves in.中心句不错

Firstly, it is no doubt that the new academic discipline will offer us some kinds of concepts, rules, which we may never thought before--or at least we are never aware of them. The world may remains the same, but on perceive from us, it turns to be different, in ways that different people observes, and in the ways we learning the academic discipline before and after. That is the way we contribute to the world we appreciate. Then, the different定语中心语呢？ brings us prosperity in different realms. The degree differs because of the degree's altering of our learning and comprehension. Newton, treated as one of the greatest scientists in the world, revealed the gravity of the world due not only to his curiosity but also, which should be considered more, to the base on his knowledge of physics and mathematics. Meanwhile, the mathematical method to solve the more profound work behind it had not come to world which halts the completion of this theory.

Moreover, the study of a new academic discipline will even help us in the knowledge we have established already. Take the glorious work, Around the World in 80 Days written by Verne for example. Without the knowledge including different cultures and customs accumulated during the rough time on aboard, none can imagine such a vivid picture merely based on rigid facts, even holding an endless imagination.又看到这个例子了~喜欢~表达的也非常好 Regardless of the hard work, the worldwide fame might nevertheless come to him. In other words, his success in literature was justified and enriched by the abundant knowledge he gained. To better illustrate this issue, Bach, one of the most famous musician in the world, who left us his magical musicworks –the well-tempered clavier-- for us, deserved a close scrutiny. The fantastic music, however, was found that was relevant to mathematical exactitude! In short, studying in other realm may provide one a broader horizon and arouse new inspiration to the same world乖~.

On the other hand, even if one treats the study of an academic discipline not seriously at all, the potential in it can ever influence the way he or she look at the world, meanwhile, it is quite possible that he or she thinks the world remains the same, but in fact not. The study of an academic discipline has its magic to influence--at least to some degree--the way people think and act into a different mode which would be more objective and more authentic, even they are conscious.最后一句没太看懂

To sum up, we gained a lot by learning an academic discipline while the same world could totally been changed, or at least being influenced -- the degree of it depends on how hard one studies it and how much he or she absorbs from it.

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改完觉得蛮好了~你再让别人看看吧~这只是我一家之言