Argument45 [飞行部落] 同主题

缪斯之心UID: 2204338

【题目】
45. The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

【翻译】
北极鹿生活在加拿大极地区域的岛屿上。它们全年都通过冰块在岛屿间移动来寻找食物。它们的栖居地局限在那些温暖得足以维持它们所需的植物生长，并且在一年的至少某些时候冷到足以让岛屿间的海面结冰以使它们能够在岛屿间旅行的地方。然而，根据当地猎人的报告，鹿的数量正在下降。由于这一报告正好与最近导致海洋冰面融化的全球变暖趋势同时发生，我们可以得出结论：北极鹿数量的下降是它们无法按它们原有的迁移习惯穿越结冰海面的结果。
提纲：1鹿的数量下降了，不一定是因为它们无法按它们原有的迁移习惯穿越结冰海面。可能是岛上引入了一些鹿的天敌。或者环境污染波及北极。更有可能是由于猎人的过度捕杀，那些报告鹿数量下降的人本身就是原因。
2全球变暖不一定北极鹿居住的岛屿的冰就会融化，可能只升一点温度不足以融化，也可能受洋流等影响，冰反而结的更多。
3即使冰化了，北极鹿也不一定就不能适应。气温变暖是一个缓慢的过程，可能鹿已经适应。


Giving some facts and some analyses, the arguer alleges a connection between the decline in arctic deer populations and the change of their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Although it is credible on the surface, closer examination will reveal the hidden flaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

To begin with, the arguer's relies on the assumption that the live condition's change which was caused by the global warming is the only possible reason for the decline in arctic deer populations. However, in all likelihood this is simply not the case. Perhaps these poor dears was hunted by a group of hunger wolves which was bright to there by a careless ship, or perhaps the hunters kill too many of them, especially when they chase the enceinte deer. If so, the local hunters themselves were the killers. Ironically, they complained to the researchers. In short, in order to properly conclude the reasons, the arguer must first rule out all other feasible explanations for the artic deer's population's decline.

Further more, the author falsely depends on anther gratuitous assumption that recent global warming trends that have caused the ice which covers the sea separating the islands to melt. In fact, this is not necessarily the case. For example, it is most likely that the temperature in artic only rise 0.1 degree that the ices will not melt. We might also ask: How about the other environment elements in Canada's arctic region? Are there any special factors which also have impact on the ice? Actually, the ocean current can reduce the temperature and make more sea water ice. Only after evaluating all the facts might a reader strongly agree that the argument in this wildlife journal.



Finally, granted that the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea now, the author concludes too hastily that the change of the deer's migration patterns necessarily results in their population's decline. However, since the global warming is a slow process, it is often possible the deer are able to adjust themselves to the new environment. Besides, the auger mentions that their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed. If so, what a good climate for the plants in the islands the global warming is! Probably, the deer do not have to move to other islands search for food thanks to the global warming which helps the plants are more thrive now. The auger, thus, cannot safely draw any significant conclusion.

In sum, the reasoning of the arguer lack sufficient evidence and well-rounded consideration as discussed above. Before assessing the bad influence of global warming, a wider investigation should be conducted on the other conditions of the deer and the artic regions which they live. What's more, it would be convincing that more evidence is provided to demonstrate the change of their migration patters could lead to the decline of their population. After all, it's not a small deal for this precious animal to become fewer and fewer.

vcphoebeUID: 2226258

Giving some facts and some analyses, the arguer alleges a connection between the decline in arctic deer populations and the change of their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Although it is credible on the surface, closer examination will reveal the hidden flaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

To begin with, the arguer's (是不是掉了什么啊。。。) relies on the assumption that the live condition's change which was caused by the global warming (觉得还是加上trends比较好,此外,时态沿用has been caused好象比较恰当) is the only possible reason for the decline in arctic deer populations. However, in all likelihood this is simply not the case. Perhaps these poor dears was hunted by a group of hunger (hungry?) wolves which was bright to (who were brought to) there by a careless ship (ship可以说careless 吗?), or perhaps the hunters kill too many of them, especially when they chase the enceinte deer. If so, the local hunters themselves were the killers. Ironically, they complained to the researchers. (主观的观点最好不要加在里面,以免弄巧成拙) In short, in order to properly conclude the reasons (reasons 在这里有被理解为原因\前提的歧义), the arguer must (should) first rule out all other feasible explanations for the artic deer's population's decline.

Further more, the author falsely depends on anther (another?) gratuitous assumption that recent global warming trends that have caused the ice which covers the sea separating the islands to melt. (改为非限定性从句会使句子结构更清晰) In fact, this is not necessarily the case. For example, it is most likely that the temperature in artic only rise 0.1 degree that the ices will not melt. We might also ask: How about the other environment elements in Canada's arctic region? Are there any special factors which (that) also have impact on the ice? Actually, the ocean current can reduce the temperature and make more sea water ice. Only after evaluating all the facts might a reader strongly agree that the argument in this wildlife journal. (恩…我认为还是不要批驳论据真实性的好,他既然说了全球global warming trends导致了sea ice to melt,最好不要怀疑的好,这一点可以看看解读官方说明那篇文章)

Finally, granted that the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea now, the author concludes too hastily that the change of the deer's migration patterns necessarily results in their population's decline. However, since the global warming is a slow process, it is often possible the deer are able to adjust themselves to the new environment. (作者在推断中没有提到数量下降是因为不适应高气温的吧) Besides, the auger mentions that their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed. If so, what a good climate for the plants in the islands the global warming is! Probably, the deer do not have to move to other islands search for food thanks to the global warming which helps the plants are more thrive now. The auger, thus, cannot safely draw any significant conclusion.

In sum, the reasoning of the arguer lack (lacks) sufficient evidence (evidences) and well-rounded consideration (considerations) as discussed above. Before assessing the bad influence of global warming, a wider investigation should be conducted on the (去掉the) other conditions of the deer and the artic regions which they live. What's more, it would be convincing that more evidence is (it would be more convincing if additional evidences are) provided to demonstrate the change of their migration patters could lead to the decline of their population. After all, it's not a small deal for this precious animal to become fewer and fewer.(依旧不赞成假如主观观点…)

以上是我个人的意见, 恩….希望对你有帮助.
我也快考试了,想加入组互改作文,可是我不知道该怎么加,可以告诉我方法吗?
谢谢了

缪斯之心UID: 2204338

太谢谢了,我这篇确实只让WORD看了看就晒出来了.
我会努力改正语法错误和主观观点的,关于第二点,我的初衷是想写全球变暖可能别的地方融化,不一定北极鹿居住的岛屿的冰就会融化.就是整体特征不一定局部也具有.不过为了保守起见,我还是攻击一段别的吧,你说的也有道理哦.
你写的作文呢? 给我看看哦.找了下没找到.
呵呵,加油啊.我也是武汉,10号.