ARGUMENT127 [SHINING SEP]

zeelichUID: 2194744

题目：ARGUMENT127 - The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
字数：530          用时：0:26:35          日期：2006-8-17

In this argument the arguer recommends that Climpson Industries(CI) should implement electronic monitoring to supervise the employees' Internet use from their workstations in order to prevent them from wasting time, foster a better work ethic, and enhance the profits. To support the recommendation the arguer cites several pieces of evidence. Close scrutiny of the evidence, however, reveals that it could lend little credible support to the recommendation and therefore renders the argument unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, a thredhold problem with the argument lies in that the arguer unfairly assumes that the use of Internet would be a waste of time. Experience informs me that CI's employees would receive more working information from Internet which could help them improve the productivity. Moreover, the arguer provides no evidence that employees in CI would use the company's workstation to deal with personal affairs and, besides, how could the software to detect whether the use of Internet would be personal affairs or business affairs. Hence, the arguer can not draw any firm conclusion based on such oversimplistic assumption.

Secondly, the claim that CI would have a better work ethic by installing the electronic monitoring would be unjustified. Perhaps employees in CI would not like to be oversighted that they may engender antipathy toward the company. Or perhaps by other method, such as attending cooperation's culture lessons, would stir up the morale among the workers in CI. Without considering and ruling out these and other possibilities, the arguer's assertion would be dubious at best.

Thirdly, even if the software would help save working time and foster better work ethic, the assumption that by installing the software would CI improve its overall profits is unpervasive. As we know that profit is a matter involves both expense and revenue. Perhaps the software of electronic monitoring would be too expensive to afford that its costs might offset the profits it brings about. Or perhaps after applying the software CI has to hire more computer experts to maintain the performance of the software that their salaries would be of a large number. Nevertheless, the unpredictable other costs of the software would undermine the arguer's assumption about the profitability of CI.

Finally, the arguer overlooks other feasible way which would also be applicable to CI. As discussed above, the cooperation culture lessons would be sound to improve employee's morale. Similarly, a working skill lesson would be helpful to enhance the productivity of the employees in CI and therefore save their time. Admittedly, these courses would cost CI some money; however, it would be much more useful for CI to apply an active method to improve its personnel's working skills rather than make them passively been supervised. Therefore, the arguer's advocation would be unconvincing under each of the foregoing scenarios.

In sum, the argument is fraught with logical flaws and not well subtantiated. To strengthen it the arguer should provide evidence that electronic monitoring would be effective in detecting employee's personal Internet use while it could identify the business use. Furthermore, more details about the effectiveness of the software in fostering a better work ethic and making profits for CI would be needed to bolster the arguer's advocation.

flycc28UID: 2164453

In this argument the arguer recommends that Climpson Industries(CI) should implement electronic monitoring to supervise the employees' Internet use from their workstations in order to prevent them from wasting time, foster a better work ethic, and enhance the profits. To support the recommendation the arguer cites several pieces of evidence. Close scrutiny of the evidence, however, reveals that it could lend little credible support to the recommendation and therefore renders the argument unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, a thredhold problem with the argument lies in that the arguer unfairly assumes that the use of Internet would be a waste of time.文章是说玩游戏 购物waste time. 这样有些偏颇吧 Experience informs me that CI's employees would receive more working information from Internet which could help them improve the productivity. Moreover, the arguer provides no evidence that employees in CI would use the company's workstation to deal with personal affairs and, besides, how could the software to detect whether the use of Internet would be personal affairs or business affairs. 没怎么看懂...Hence, the arguer can not draw any firm conclusion based on such oversimplistic assumption.

Secondly, the claim that CI would have a better work ethic by installing the electronic monitoring would be直接IS 好了 unjustified. Perhaps employees in CI would not like to be oversightedmonitored that they may engender antipathy toward the company. Or perhaps by other method, such as attending cooperation's culture lessons, would stir up the morale among the workers in CI. Without considering and ruling out these and other possibilities, the arguer's assertion would be dubious at best.
这段其实也没说出具体为什么不能have a better ethic, 我写的也很没说服力,大家再想看

Thirdly, even if the software would help save working time and foster better work ethic, the assumption that by installing the software would CI improve its overall profits is unpervasive. As we know that profit is a matter involves both expense and revenue. Perhaps the software of electronic monitoring would be too expensive to afford that its costs might offset the profits it brings about. Or perhaps after applying the software CI has to hire more computer experts to maintain the performance of the software that their salaries would be of a large number. Nevertheless, the unpredictable other costs of the software would undermine the arguer's assumption about the profitability of CI.说的很清楚了

Finally, the arguer overlooks other feasible way which would also be applicable to CI. As discussed above, the cooperation culture lessons would be sound to improve employee's morale. Similarly, a working skill lesson would be helpful to enhance the productivity of the employees in CI and therefore save their time. Admittedly, these courses would cost CI some money; however, it would be much more useful for CI to apply an active method to improve its personnel's working skills rather than make them passively been supervised. Therefore, the arguer's advocation would be unconvincing under each of the foregoing scenarios.good

In sum, the argument is fraught with logical flaws and not well subtantiated. To strengthen it the arguer should provide evidence that electronic monitoring would be effective in detecting employee's personal Internet use while it could identify the business use. Furthermore, more details about the effectiveness of the software in fostering a better work ethic and making profits for CI would be needed to bolster the arguer's advocation.
最后两个错误说的不错 值得学习..
速度很快啊 时间内写了500多...学习学习..~

[ 本帖最后由 flycc28 于 2006-8-17 22:20 编辑 ]

zeelichUID: 2194744

Moreover, the arguer provides no evidence that employees in CI would use the company's workstation to deal with personal affairs and, besides, how could the software to detect whether the use of Internet would be personal affairs or business affairs.

就是想说作者没有具体说明CI的员工是如何使用公司的电脑的,也没有说明电子软件如何检测INTERNET的应用到底是个人事务还是公司事务