【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】☆Jelly月♂12月19日作文

d596086UID: 2522476

12.19

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize（2007.7.21）

It is true that modern society has become more complex than ever before, so everyone, especially those young people, needs to impart various knowledge as well as solving different problems. Accordingly, it is crucial for the youth to have the ability to organize their recent works and plan their future, otherwise, who will lose themselves in the modern complicated world.

       Only is one able to organize and arrange recent works well, does she or he can go along the correct way towards to personal success. Nowadays, almost everyone is facing multifarious pressures from workforces, family, society and so on, so are the young people. If we do not strive to arrange a scheme, such as what things are more important and need to be down recently, what things can be dealt with later, we will easily miss our initial pursuits. Such for college students, one should possess this ability to plan one’s study tasks and private life: what kinds of knowledge should be learned, whether one needs to take part -time jobs, should she or he spends time on amativeness stuff, etc... Without realizing this situation clearly, without organizing complex tasks rationally, he or she might waste too much time and energy on unnecessary things, leading to farther from successful end.

       Owning a strong ability of planning and scheming one's future is a vital key to his/her intending success. Modern society offers us an amount of different jobs to do, from literature creation to science research, from computer program designing to business running. Among them, which is your most favorite job in the future became an important question in front of every young person. It is necessary for us to stop for a while, thinking which way we mostly long for heartfeltly. We have learned the fact that may young guys who naturally own artistic gift finally give up the artistic creation, plunging to other careers for seeking for a better life. But eventually, most of them feel regret choosing this way. Were they plan their future, this case won’t be happened.

      If we, young people, do not organize our recent works, we likely waste our precious vigor on subordinate things; if we do not try to plant our future, we might lose ourselves in personal triumphant pursuit. All in all, it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize in this gradually complicating modern society.

[ 本帖最后由 d596086 于 2008-12-20 10:19 编辑 ]

yuanyuan@560806UID: 2513323

好，文字功底非常好！

无音萧UID: 2518358

占个位，中午回来改

chineseladyUID: 2403976

It is true that modern society has become more complex than ever before, so everyone, especially those young people, needs to impart various knowledge as well as solving different problems. Accordingly, it is crucial for the youth to have the ability to organize their recent works and plan their future, otherwise, who will lose themselves in the modern complicated world.

       Only is one able to organize and arrange recent works well, does she or he can go along the correct way towards to personal success. Nowadays, almost everyone is facing multifarious pressures from workforces, family, society and so on, so are the young people. If we do not strive to arrange a scheme, such as what things are more important and need to be down recently, what things can be dealt with later, we will easily miss our initial pursuits. Such for college students, one should possess this ability to plan one’s study tasks and private life: what kinds of knowledge should be learned, whether one needs to take part -time jobs, should she or he spends time on amativeness stuff, etc... Without realizing this situation clearly, without organizing complex tasks rationally, he or she might waste too much time and energy on unnecessary things, leading to farther from successful end.

       Owning a strong ability of planning and scheme and one’s future is a vital key to his/her intending success. Modern society offers us an amount of different jobs to do, from literature creation to science research, from computer program designing to business running. Among them, which is your most favorite job in the future became an important question in front of every young person. It is necessary for us to stop for a while, thinking which way we mostly long for heartfeltly. We have learned the fact that may young guys who naturally own artistic gift finally give up the artistic creation, plunging to other careers for seeking for a better life. But eventually, most of them feel regret choosing this way. Were they plan their future, this case won’t be happened.

      If we, young people, do not organize our recent works, we likely waste our precious vigor on subordinate things; if we do not try to plant our future, we might lose ourselves in personal triumphant pursuit. All in all, it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize in this gradually complicating modern society.

LZ的文章举例很抽象也很到位.句子结构很新颖, 词汇很值得学习和借鉴,挺好!

无音萧UID: 2518358

It is true that modern society has become more complex than ever before, so everyone, especially those young people, needs to impart various knowledge as well as solving different problems. Accordingly, it is crucial for the youth to have the ability to organize their recent works and plan their future, otherwise, who will lose themselves in the modern complicated world.
Only is one able to organize and arrange recent works well, does she or he can go along the correct way towards to personal success. Nowadays, almost everyone is facing multifarious pressures from workforces, family, society and so on, so are the young people. If we do not strive to （好像没必要）arrange a scheme, such as what things are more important and need to be down recently, what things can be dealt with later,(觉得有些冗长.没有起到排比作用。还有，意思重复，后一句不就是说明前一句的意思了么？看看这样有没有好些？   prioritizing the events on the list, distributing time respectively, and so forth) we will easily miss our initial pursuits.(觉得原句好像有点怪，不知道这样stray away from our initial path可否)   Such for college students, one should possess this ability to plan one’s study tasks and private life: what kinds of knowledge should be learned, whether one needs to take part -time jobs, should she or he spends time on amativeness stuff, etc... Without realizing this situation clearly, without （两个以without开头的短句连在一起读起来不太顺，不如用and）organizing complex tasks rationally, he or she might waste too much time and energy on unnecessary things, leading to farther from successful end.
Owning a strong ability of planning and scheme and one’s future is a vital key to his/her intending success. （分论点怎么和第一个那么像？都是说对成功很重要）Modern society offers us an amount of different jobs to do, from literature creation to science research, from（可不要，读起来比较好）computer program designing to business running. Among them, which is your most favorite job in the future became an important question in front of every young person.（1、没有主语，谁became an important…了？你是想说which is your most favorite”作主语的话，应该是这样吧，that which is your favorite job in the future became an important….2、这里我个人有个疑问，favorite还要用most吗？） It is necessary for us to stop for a while, thinking which way we mostly long for heartfeltly. We have learned the fact that may young guys who naturally own artistic gift finally give up the artistic creation, plunging to other careers for seeking for a better life. But eventually, most of them feel regret choosing this way. Were they plan their future, this case won’t be happened.（这段论证不够充分，和plan and organize的关系不够明确）
If we, young people, do not organize our recent works, we likely waste our precious vigor on subordinate things; if we do not try to plant our future, we might lose ourselves in personal triumphant pursuit. All in all, it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize in this gradually complicating modern society.
结尾挺好，有点题。
总体感觉，楼主有一定功底，但是在词汇和句式的运用上还有提升空间~~因为挺大的中国味道的，呵呵~~结构不错，但注意论证的严谨。

[ 本帖最后由 无音萧 于 2008-12-20 15:30 编辑 ]

d596086UID: 2522476

谢谢啊，你改得很对
另外第二段是说计划当前的事情很重要，
第三段是写计划未来的事情也很重要
我是把题目拆开写得