Argument216【0806G-Sunbird小组】第五次作业

lewis0409220UID: 2238498

TOPIC: ARGUMENT216 - The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.

"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
WORDS: 389          TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2007-11-23 下午 08:27:49

In this argument, the arguer concludes that Clearview is the best place for anyone to retire. To support the conclusion, the arguer gives many reasons, such as consistent climate and good health care. However, the arguer makes three mistakes in the following aspects.
First of all, consistent climate isn't suitable for anyone. Someone with special illness may need terrible weather felt by normal people. For example, a person with serious arthritis would like hot weather all the year because even a little cold climate may make him painful. As we all know that Arizona State University is one of the best universities in microscopy, the reason is that in the middle of 20s century, the most famous scientist in microscopy then in the world, whose wife had had serious arthritis, chose to work there because of his wife. It follows that many scientists and scientific workers in this field rushed to Arizona State University in order to work with and learn form him. In short, the arguer must consent to the point of view that different kinds of climate is needed by different kinds of people and no sort of weather is appropriate to any person.
Secondly, the argument cites that housing costs have fallen dramatically in the past year. However, it fails to insure that the price of houses in Clearview is in a low place because the arguer ignores the initial price. It is possibly that the initial housing costs were so high that albeit it has fallen obviously during the past year, the price of house now also leaves common people's ability to buy. A place with economical pressure is surely not appropriate to retire.
Last but not least, there is no arresting relationship between excellent health care and the high number of physicians. If the capability of physicians in Clearview is low and diseases can't be treated rapidly and perfectly, a large amount of physicians is bootless for excellent health care. As a result, confirmation of wonderful health care needs more avidence.
In conclusion, several mistakes in this argument weakened the conclusion that   Clearview is the most suitable place for anyone to retire. To make it more believable, the arguer should give more information in housing costs and health care. In addition, the arguer should agree that no kind of climate fits anyone to retire.

[ 本帖最后由 lewis0409220 于 2007-11-23 21:55 编辑 ]

creekpreciousUID: 2389003

那个例子(ABOUT Arizona State University)  真的很厉害
值得学习～～～～
能不能在提供些好的例子呢 谢谢

liyue24UID: 2350787

:confused:    :confused:

这是一篇A么？……怎么还出来例子了……
不过，A state university的例子怎么和C地区的天气相关了？没明白啊……

lewis0409220UID: 2238498

原帖由 liyue24 于 2007-11-23 23:53 发表
:confused:    :confused:

这是一篇A么？……怎么还出来例子了……
不过，A state university的例子怎么和C地区的天气相关了？没明白啊……

我举这个例子是想说明并非anyone都希望在合适的气候下养老,某些特殊人群恰恰需要极端气候.我也不知道用得好不好,请多指教.
是不是说A里面不适合用具体例子?

lewis0409220UID: 2238498

原帖由 creekprecious 于 2007-11-23 22:12 发表
那个例子(ABOUT Arizona State University)  真的很厉害
值得学习～～～～
能不能在提供些好的例子呢 谢谢

我是学物理的,上课的时候老师讲过这个故事,所以知道:)

tyddUID: 2351248

In addition, the arguer should agree that no kind of climate fits anyone to retire.这句有问题
我觉得 As we all know that Arizona State University is one of the best universities in microscopy, the reason is that in the middle of 20s century, the most famous scientist in microscopy then in the world, whose wife had had serious arthritis, chose to work there because of his wife. 这例子不错 不过用在这里就不合适了。 argu不宜这么写 想issue似的 而且“It follows that many scientists and scientific workers in this field rushed to Arizona State University in order to work with and learn form him. ”也和你要驳论的内容无关 更像是在说名人给学校的影响

优点就不说了啊 有很多值得我学习的地方 我就直接学了～:loveliness:

javen3721UID: 2332354

原帖由 lewis0409220 于 2007-11-24 15:10 发表



我举这个例子是想说明并非anyone都希望在合适的气候下养老,某些特殊人群恰恰需要极端气候.我也不知道用得好不好,请多指教.
是不是说A里面不适合用具体例子?

针对你这个问题,我刚才特意去问了一个已经考过的同学,他说argument顾名思义就是攻击他的逻辑错误,而不是他某个具体观点,也可以用具体的例子,但是要简洁一点,供你参考~~~~

javen3721UID: 2332354

In this argument, the arguer concludes that Clearview is the best place for anyone（everyone） to retire. To support the conclusion, the arguer gives many reasons, such as consistent climate and good health care. However, the arguer makes three mistakes in the following aspects.
First of all, consistent climate isn't suitable for anyone. Someone with special illness may need terrible weather felt by normal people. For example, a person with serious arthritis would like hot weather all the year because even a little cold climate(wether) may make him painful. As we all know that Arizona State University is one of the best universities in microscopy, the reason is that in the middle of 20s century, the most famous scientist in microscopy then in the world, whose wife had had serious arthritis, chose to work there because of his wife. It follows that many scientists and scientific workers in this field rushed to Arizona State University in order to work with and learn form him.(可以删掉) In short, the arguer must consent to the point of view(可以删掉) that different kinds of climate is needed by different kinds of people and no sort of weather is appropriate to any person.（可以改为：Never a climate is appropriate to everyone）
Secondly, the argument cites that housing costs have fallen dramatically in the past year. However, it fails to insure that the price of houses in Clearview is in a low place(lever) because the arguer ignores the initial price. It is possibly that the initial housing costs were so high that albeit it has fallen obviously during the past year, the price of house now also leaves common people's ability to buy(这不知道可不可以这么用，如果是我话我会用the price is still too high to afford for the common people. ). A place with economical pressure is surely not appropriate to retire(for retirees).
Last but not least, there is no arresting relationship between excellent health care and the high number of physicians. If the capability of physicians in Clearview is low and diseases can't be treated rapidly and perfectly, a large amount of physicians is bootless for excellent health care. As a result, confirmation of wonderful health care needs more avidence.
In conclusion, several mistakes in this argument weakened the conclusion that   Clearview is the most suitable place for anyone to retire. To make it more believable, the arguer should give more information in housing costs and health care. In addition, the arguer should agree that no(never a ) kind of climate fits anyone(everyone) to retie


总体来说写的挺不错的，有可能我有的地方改错了，见谅~~

[ 本帖最后由 javen3721 于 2007-11-24 19:38 编辑 ]