COMEON-----作文小组-----needyou---10月14

needyouUID: 2251649

A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.

Recently a issue in my country is that a university plans to develop a new research center in my country. And we some people want a center for business research while others support a center for research in agriculture. I decide to recommend the business center for my country, I have several reasons below.

First, china export goods or services are provided to foreign consumers by domestic producers. Export of commercial quantities of goods normally requires involvement of the businessman’s work.. for example. small trades over the internet in china is so successful, such as www.TaoBao.com. due to the free trades fee. Nonetheless, these small exports are still subject to legal restrictions applied by the country of export., so we need more and more expert in such field, to regular this new type economic system.

Second, when China join the world trade organization, more and more commercial products export aboard. We need more and more businessman to sustain our export-oriented economic system, some experts should be worked in such a research center to understand and help us know the trade rules, and help us win the battle, business battle.
Lessons from great depression, should be never forget, In china we are market economy. Lessons from other counties is the same important for us, and such a research center is so important for us today, 2008 is china’s reforming and opening-up policy for 30 years. And this year we face the same economic depression the same with other western countries, we need such a research center to deal with those problems, help the government to make laws. And avoid, or, at least, minimize the harm of the economical Depression.

In conclude, such a business center for china is so important, and we can see so many economic news from every aspect in our daily life. But we must remember china is a ag
riculture country, we can not ignore the agriculture problem, we must know that all the human activities base on the food we need. But in this year, a research center is important for china.

[ 本帖最后由 needyou 于 2008-10-14 23:46 编辑 ]

weenbopperUID: 2423595

Recently an(An recently) issue in my country is that a university plans to develop a new research center in my country. And we去掉 some people want a center for business research while others support a center for research in agriculture. I decide to recommend the business center for my country, I have several reasons below.直接接一个原因状语从句就可以了，两个Ｉ显得有点累赘了

First, china export goods（这里要改，不知道什么意思？到底和后面的service是什么结构？） or services are provided to foreign consumers by domestic producers. Export of commercial quantities of goods　这句话很别扭，到底哪个是主语？export？ normally requires involvement of the businessman’s work.. for example. small trades over the internet in china is so successful, such as www.TaoBao.com. due to the free trades fee. Nonetheless, these small exports are still subject to legal restrictions applied by the country of export., so we need more and more expert in such field, to regular this new type economic system．这里用逗号隔开就成了一个句子了，没谓语，应该不要逗号托家园"PM^L+Hvf

Second, when China join the world trade organization（首字母大写）, more and more commercial products export aboard. We need more and more businessman to sustain our export-oriented economic system, some experts should be worked in such a research center to understand（这里又缺成分，understand什么？不会是us吧？） and help us know the trade rules, and help us win the battle, business battle．（同一个主语和谓语可以做一个句子写）
{K
Lessons from great depression, should be never forget, ．In china we are（我们是？are可以改成develop之类的一些词，要不要出笑话了） market economy. Lessons from other counties is the same important for us, and such a research center is so important for us today, 2008 is china’s reforming and opening-up policy for 30 years. And In this year we face the same economic depression the same语法错误 with other western countries, we need such a research center to deal with those problems, help the government to make laws. 这里要分两个句子么？和其面一样的情况And avoid, or, at least, minimize the harm of the economical Depression.
In conclude(conclusion), such a business center for china is so important, and we can see so many economic news from every aspect in our daily life. But we must remember china大写 is a agriculture country, we can not ignore the agriculture problem, we must know that all the human activities base on the food we need. But in this year, a research center is important for china.
给楼主三条意见：（可能过于苛刻）
１、交作文前先自己修改，最好在word改一次，对别人负责的同时也要对自己负责
２、语法错误实在太多，根本没法改文章的层次和论据
３、多看范文、ＯＧ

qawsedUID: 2359935

A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation

Recently a issue in my country is that a university plans to develop a new research center in my country. And we some people want a center for business research while others support a center for research in agriculture. I decide to recommend the business center for my country, I have several reasons +to support my viewpoint好一点 below.

First, china export goods or services are provided to foreign consumers by domestic producers.这句有语病，两个谓语了。 Export of commercial quantities of goods normally requires involvement of the businessman’s work.. for example. small trades over the internet in china is so successful, such as www.TaoBao.com. due to the free trades fee. Nonetheless, these small exports are still subject to legal restrictions applied by the country of export., so we need more and more expert in such field, to regular this new type economic system. Second, when China join the world trade organization要大写, more and more commercial products export aboard. We need more and more businessman to sustain our export-oriented economic system, some experts should be worked in such a research center to understand and help us know the trade rules, and help us win the battle, business battle.这句话，首先，逗号不能连接两个句子，你要在第二个句子前面加上连接词如and,but,or,之类。其次，to understand 与句子不符，可改为 to be trained and help us with the trade rules...这句后面可以继续论证一下WTO可以给我们带来的利益，进而得到更大发展。

Lessons from great depression, should be never forget, In china we are market economy. 这句是中式英语，可以改为Chine runs market economy system. Lessons from other counties is the same去掉 important for us, and such a research center is so important for us today, 2008 is china’s reforming and opening-up policy for 30 years. And this year we face the same economic depression the same with other western countries, we need such a research center to deal with those problems, help the government to make laws. And avoid, or, at least, minimize the harm of the economical Depression.

In conclude,In conclusion or To conclude such a business center for china is so important, and we can see so many economic news from every aspect in our daily life. But we must remember china is a agricultural country, we can not ignore the agriculture problem, we must know that all the human activities base on the food we need. But in this year, a research center is important for china.comeo在结尾说反面的好处是不对的，有否定自己的嫌疑建议删除。
总体，中间段首句要能领导全段，要有主题句,LZ要朝这方向努力下哈。
         另外语法多看看范文之类的会有很大提高
         继续加油！！

[ 本帖最后由 qawsed 于 2008-10-15 11:58 编辑 ]