Argument140 【loveaw】第九次作业

njuliuyangUID: 2300567

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
一、未证明其教学、研究能力
二、未证明其对当前工资、职位不满
三、未证明所提议的加薪和升职是必要合理的
WORDS: 362          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-2-22
The author draws the conclusion based on the assumption that Professor Thomas is not satisfied with her current salary and position, which is unfounded and renders the conclusion unsound as it stands.

To begin with, the author fails to lend strong support to Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities based on the precarious evidence. It is fairly possible that the students attending her classes are required to do so in that her classes are required courses which students majoring in botany have to attend. Also, there is a good chance that the students who attend her classes do not like her teaching style or even that they consider the quality of her instruction as dissatisfactory, which lends no support to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities.

In addition, the author does not provide concrete information regarding that she is going to leave Elm City University. It is entirely possible that she is content with her present salary and position and thus she will continue to work at Elm City University rather than go to another college. Unless the author can prove that she is dissatisfactory with her current salary and position, the conclusion that the Committee on Faculty Promotion and Salaries at Elm City University should raise her salary and promote her to Department Chairperson is groundless.

Finally, [even assuming that she is not content with her salary and position,] it is not necessary to raise her salary by $10,000 and promote her to Department Chairperson. Perhaps the $10,000 raise exceed the money she has brought to the university in research grants and thus the raise proposed is inappropriate and not proportional to what she brought to the university. Besides, the author provides no detailed information concerning whether there are other candidates who are more competent to be promoted to Department Chairperson. Lacking such information and without ruling out such possibility, the author cannot convince me that the Committee on Faculty Promotion and Salaries at Elm City University should raise her salary and promote her to Department Chairperson.

In sum, to better bolster the conclusion, the author should provide more information concerning what she think of her present salary and position and lend strong support to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. Otherwise, the conclusion is unsound.

welcomebsUID: 2235250

The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."


The author draws the conclusion based on the assumption that Professor Thomas is not satisfied with her current salary and position, which is unfounded and renders the conclusion unsound as it stands.

To begin with, the author fails to lend strong support to Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities based on the precarious evidence (that her classes are among the largest at the university).  It is fairly possible that the students attending her classes are required to do so in that her classes are required(compulsory) courses which students majoring in botany have to attend. Also, there is a good chance that the students who attend her classes do not like her teaching style or even that they consider the quality of her instruction as dissatisfactory, which lends no support to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. ( 再说一点关于research abilities，虽然这个老师的研究能力会影响学生是否选择他的课，但是，更大程度上，作为授课教育而非研究培养的时候，学生更看重的是teaching abilities).由于你的字数比较少，这里可以加一个总结句So, the mere information of the large of her classes is not sufficient to demonstrate her instruction quality as well as research ablities.

In addition, the author does not provide concrete information regarding that she is going to leave Elm City University. It is entirely possible that she is content with her present salary and position and thus she will continue to work at Elm City University rather than go to another college. Unless the author can prove that she is dissatisfactory with her current salary and position, the conclusion that the Committee on Faculty Promotion and Salaries at Elm City University should raise her salary and promote her to Department Chairperson is groundless.
这一段感觉比较空，没有提供信息他会离开--有可能他满意不离开--除非说明她不满意那么就不应该加薪水升职。如果不能够详细分析这一个观点的话，其实你可以写说作者没有提供他为什么想离开学校，完全有可能是其他原因，比如说。。。。这个观点比较好些

Finally, [even assuming that she is not content with her salary and position,] it is not necessary to raise her salary by $10,000 and promote her to Department Chairperson. Perhaps the $10,000 raise exceed the money she has brought to the university in research grants and thus the raise proposed is inappropriate and not proportional to what she brought to the university. Besides, the author provides no detailed information concerning whether there are other candidates who are more competent to be promoted to Department Chairperson. Lacking such information and without ruling out such possibility, the author cannot convince me that the Committee on Faculty Promotion and Salaries at Elm City University should raise her salary and promote her to Department Chairperson.
这一段简洁明了，而且思路清晰，不错。而且观点挺新颖的^_^
在提供一个观点，就是升职与教学研究水平不一定成正比的，时都有领导才能也是应该考虑的因素。
In sum, to better bolster the conclusion, the author should provide more information concerning what she think of her present salary and position and lend strong support to her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. Otherwise, the conclusion is unsound.

限时只作是吧^_^
字数不够哦^_^

[ 本帖最后由 welcomebs 于 2007-2-26 01:25 编辑 ]