issue136.自己已改,感觉头尾不好对付?欢迎指正!

hustzwjUID: 203387

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
   
I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also there even in situations where it seems we have no choices. However, sometimes choices are indeed not available.
First, as we have seen in our everyday life, generally, a lot of choices are available. On the one hand, there are many choices in front of us. For example, due to the highly developed industries and keen competition nowadays, many manufacturers try their best to make various products to satisfy the customers’ different needs. Consequently, when we walk into a supermarket, we could often find the goods which are suitable to our taste or whose prices are affordable. On the other hand, we as human beings all have the freedom to decide what to do next in our daily life. For instance, after we have finished our work, we could choose to watch TV with family leisurely and happily or go out to have a picnic in the open air with our good friends. Thus, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare in our daily life.   
    Secondly, even when we face tough situations like falling into trouble where it seems we have no other choices available temporarily, we have in fact. The reality is that these choices are often buried by our pessimistic attitudes which, to some extent, are decided by character. Then, whether we have choices is decided by whether we have the personal character like perseverance or not. For example, I think the Watergate was a product of character flaws in Richard Nixon. His suspicious nature led him to approve of ‘dirty tricks’ against his opponents. Increasingly, he isolated himself from all except his closed aides. That is to say, he discarded the choices which might be advantageous to him. On the contrary, Ronald Reagan survived the Iran-Contra crisis because of his open, congenial and optimistic attitudes. At that time, he openly cooperated with investigators, personally testifying to what he knew about the affair. Though many Americans faulted him for trading arms for the hostages, they forgave his many oversights, in part because they trust his motives.  Though in the proverb: attitude is everything, the attitude’s influence is to some extent exaggerated, it should not be ignored.
    However, under some circumstances, we have no choices at all. For instance, we could not choose to be born in a rich family since it is the decided fact. For instance, in the tsunami occurred recently, we all know that in this disaster, a lot of people lost their lives. They might have persisted in the flood for a long duration, but no aids arrived later until they had totally been enervated and sank into the sea forever. For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare.
    To sum up, we have choices in essence whether we are in daily life or encounter difficulties. There is only much little possibilities when we have no choices at all.

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also there even in situations where it seems we have no choices. (这句话不也是说有选择吗? 看不出有转折呀) However, sometimes choices are indeed not available.
（重新写一下吧：从第二句开始 In our daily life, choices are available in most situations. Even when there seem to be no choice at all, an optimistic(你自己再改一下吧，这个词好像和你想的不太符合) person always has the serendipity to find them. 最后一句可以不要吧，反正都要让步的。
First, as we have seen in our everyday life, generally, a lot of choices are available. On the one hand, there are many choices in front of us. For example, due to the highly developed industries and keen competition nowadays, many manufacturers try their best to make various products to satisfy the customers’ different needs. Consequently, when we walk into a supermarket, we could often find the goods which are suitable to our taste or whose prices are affordable.(这句话有点罗嗦了) On the other hand, we as human beings(似乎没有必要) all have the freedom to decide what to do next in our daily life. For instance, after we have finished our work, we could choose to watch TV with family leisurely and happily or go out to have a picnic in the open air with our good friends. Thus, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare in our daily life.
Secondly, even when we face tough situations like falling into trouble where it seems we have no other choices available temporarily, we have in fact. The reality is that these choices are often buried by our pessimistic attitudes which, to some extent, are decided by character. Then, whether we have choices is decided by whether we have the personal character like perseverance or not. For example, I think the Watergate was a product of character flaws in Richard Nixon. His suspicious nature led him to approve of ‘dirty tricks’ against his opponents. Increasingly, he isolated himself from all except his closed aides. That is to say, he discarded the choices which might be advantageous to him. On the contrary, Ronald Reagan survived the Iran-Contra crisis because of his open, congenial and optimistic attitudes. At that time, he openly cooperated with investigators, personally testifying to what he knew about the affair. Though many Americans faulted him for trading arms for the hostages, they forgave his many oversights, in part because they trust his motives. Though in the proverb: attitude is everything, the attitude’s influence is to some extent exaggerated, it should not be ignored. (这个观点我喜欢):)
However, under some circumstances, we have no choices at all. For instance, we could not choose to be born in a rich family since it is the decided fact. For instance, in the tsunami occurred recently, we all know that in this disaster, a lot of people lost their lives. They might have persisted in the flood for a long duration, but no aids arrived later until they had totally been enervated and sank into the sea forever. For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare.
To sum up, we have choices in essence whether we are in daily life or encounter difficulties. There is only much little possibilities when we have no choices at all.
结构很清晰，观点我也蛮欣赏的, 只是语言上有点别扭, 我也一样，多写几篇就好了。
Issue 136 我也写过，确实有点难写呀，我写了两篇都不满意，发到GTER上也没人改，现在终于可以交流一下了。曾经给一个G友看过，总觉得问题是有，但就是说不出来。大家相互讨论一下吧。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ght=%2Bxiaowenzi118

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

Originally posted by hustzwj at 2005-7-25 13:54
136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
   
I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also ther ...

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

Originally posted by hustzwj at 2005-7-25 13:54
136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
   
I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also ther ...

I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also there even in situations where it seems we have no choices. However, sometimes choices are indeed not available.想了一下看出转折了，有点不自然
First, as we have seen in our everyday life, generally, a lot of choices are available. On the one hand, there are many choices in front of us.（numerous 把many换换） For example, due to the highly developed industries and keen competition nowadays, many manufacturers try their best to make various products to satisfy the customers’ different needs. Consequently, when we walk into a supermarket, we could often find the goods which are suitable to our taste or whose prices are affordable. On the other hand, we as human beings all have the freedom to decide what to do next in our daily life. For instance, after we have finished our work, we could choose to watch TV with family leisurely and happily or go out to have a picnic in the open air with our good friends. Thus, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare in our daily life.   
    Secondly, even when we face tough situations like（such as） falling into trouble where it seems we have no other choices available temporarily, we have in fact. The reality is that these choices are often buried by our pessimistic attitudes （喜欢这句话），which to some extent, are decided by character. Then, whether we have choices is decided by whether we have the personal character like perseverance or not. For example, I think the Watergate was a product of character flaws in Richard Nixon. His suspicious nature led him to approve of ‘dirty tricks’ against his opponents. Increasingly, he isolated himself from all except his closed aides. That is to say, he discarded the choices which might be advantageous to him. On the contrary, Ronald Reagan survived the Iran-Contra crisis because of his open, congenial and optimistic attitudes. At that time, he openly cooperated with investigators, personally testifying to what he knew about the affair. Though many Americans faulted (condemned比较好) him for trading arms for the hostages, they forgave his many oversights, in par  because they trust his motives.  Though in the proverb: attitude is everything, the attitude’s influence is to some extent exaggerated, it should not be ignored.
    However, under some circumstances, we have no choices at all. For instance, we could not choose to be born in a rich family since it is the decided fact. For instance, in the tsunami occurred（这种非谓语形式有问题后置表被动啊，developed country推出 occurred tsunami） recently, we all know that in this disaster, a lot of people lost their lives. They might have persisted in the flood for a long duration, but no aids arrived later until they had totally been enervated and sank into the sea forever. For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare. （结尾费解了，是要说这是极少的没有选择的情况吗？表达的好像不是这个意思）
    To sum up, we have choices in essence whether we are in daily life or encounter difficulties. There is only much little possibilities when we have no choices at all.
我觉得文章结构很清晰

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

Originally posted by hustzwj at 2005-7-25 13:54
136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
   
I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also ther ...

I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also there even in situations where it seems we have no choices. However, sometimes choices are indeed not available.想了一下看出转折了，有点不自然
First, as we have seen in our everyday life, generally, a lot of choices are available. On the one hand, there are many choices in front of us.（numerous 把many换换） For example, due to the highly developed industries and keen competition nowadays, many manufacturers try their best to make various products to satisfy the customers’ different needs. Consequently, when we walk into a supermarket, we could often find the goods which are suitable to our taste or whose prices are affordable. On the other hand, we as human beings all have the freedom to decide what to do next in our daily life. For instance, after we have finished our work, we could choose to watch TV with family leisurely and happily or go out to have a picnic in the open air with our good friends. Thus, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare in our daily life.   
    Secondly, even when we face tough situations like（such as） falling into trouble where it seems we have no other choices available temporarily, we have in fact. The reality is that these choices are often buried by our pessimistic attitudes （喜欢这句话），which to some extent, are decided by character. Then, whether we have choices is decided by whether we have the personal character like perseverance or not. For example, I think the Watergate was a product of character flaws in Richard Nixon. His suspicious nature led him to approve of ‘dirty tricks’ against his opponents. Increasingly, he isolated himself from all except his closed aides. That is to say, he discarded the choices which might be advantageous to him. On the contrary, Ronald Reagan survived the Iran-Contra crisis because of his open, congenial and optimistic attitudes. At that time, he openly cooperated with investigators, personally testifying to what he knew about the affair. Though many Americans faulted (condemned比较好) him for trading arms for the hostages, they forgave his many oversights, in par  because they trust his motives.  Though in the proverb: attitude is everything, the attitude’s influence is to some extent exaggerated, it should not be ignored.
    However, under some circumstances, we have no choices at all. For instance, we could not choose to be born in a rich family since it is the decided fact. For instance, in the tsunami occurred（这种非谓语形式有问题后置表被动啊，developed country推出 occurred tsunami） recently, we all know that in this disaster, a lot of people lost their lives. They might have persisted in the flood for a long duration, but no aids arrived later until they had totally been enervated and sank into the sea forever. For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare. （结尾费解了，是要说这是极少的没有选择的情况吗？表达的好像不是这个意思）
    To sum up, we have choices in essence whether we are in daily life or encounter difficulties. There is only much little possibilities when we have no choices at all.
我觉得文章结构很清晰

hustzwjUID: 203387

多谢楼上的各位战友!我会仔细考虑的!

hustzwjUID: 203387

For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare. （结尾费解了，是要说这是极少的没有选择的情况吗？表达的好像不是这个意思）

改为 However, this kind of situation is very rare!这回如何?上句的确有点问题!
谢谢指教!

zehuaUID: 199246

哈哈我也写了这篇的。很难哦！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=301832
你的secondly那段我没有看懂啊！寒！
关键是怎么把choice 和 perserverance扯上的？那2个例子和有没有选择有什么关系嘛？

skaterUID: 2116878

你等着吧，我改的又铺草坪了！！！！！

skaterUID: 2116878

I agree with the speaker’s assertion. In our routine life, we have choices mostly. But choices are also there even in situations where it seems we have no choices. However, sometimes choices are indeed not available.（我也觉得你这开头结尾实在有点问题，语言上不妨先用模版，但内容也有问题：那个but是表转折的，如果我没理解错的话， 你but那句话也是要说choice 很多的。但你这段这么短，转折就有两个，逻辑关系太混乱，先说同意，也就是认为选择不少，一个but后居然还是选择不少，however后又说not available, 实在很奇怪。其实，这段这样写，除了表明你自己也自相矛盾外，什么也说明不了。 你如果下面是论述到底烧不少，为什么少，也可以在第一段把赞同或反对的理由用一句概括出。注意先后顺序的对应）
First, as we have seen( as we take a retrospect ) in our everyday life, generally, a lot of choices are available(accessible). On the one hand, there are many choices in front of us（短句太多拉）. For example, due to the highly developed industries and keen(drastic,keen修饰人的吧？) competition nowadays, many manufacturers try their best to make various products to satisfy the customers’ different needs. Consequently（你的关联词不要随便瞎用，最好是大的意群之间的关系用比较正式的关联词）, when we walk into a supermarket, we could often find the goods which are suitable to our taste or whose prices are affordable. （这个例子实在很一般，我也承认在短时间内，我也写不出什么出彩的例子，但我的忠告是最好不要用日常生活的例子，所有issue都是！！！。哪怕你把很普通的事情放到不普通的人上也可以阿）On the other hand, we as human beings all have the freedom to decide what to do next in our daily life. For instance, after we have finished our work, we could choose to watch TV with family leisurely and happily or go out to have a picnic in the open air with our good friends. Thus, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare in our daily life. （这个例子也太。。。。。改去！！！写不出来了，像是憋出来的。。。。。。还有，人有没有freedom to decide 也是很有可挖掘的话题。这么一带而过了就！！打！老g友，不客气！！！）（你把能拽到的名人关于选择命运什么的材料都使劲拽上去！！！！！）
    Secondly, even when we face tough situations like falling into trouble where(which) it seems we have no other choices available temporarily, we have in fact.（终于知道写主题句了） The reality is that these choices are often buried by our pessimistic attitudes which, to some extent, are decided by character. （这句话的语言风格怎么和上面那么悬殊阿？？？）（如果这句话真的不是你写的，你不妨顺便把它变成名人名言，和下面的then 也有一定的因果关系，呵呵）Then, whether we have choices is decided by whether we have the personal character like perseverance or not. For example, I think the Watergate was a product of character flaws in Richard Nixon. His suspicious nature led him to approve of ‘dirty tricks’ against his opponents. Increasingly, he isolated himself from all except his closed aides. That is to say, he discarded the choices which might be advantageous to him. On the contrary, Ronald Reagan survived the Iran-Contra crisis because of his open, congenial and optimistic attitudes. At that time, he openly cooperated with investigators, personally testifying to what he knew about the affair. Though many Americans faulted him for trading arms for the hostages, they forgave his many oversights, in part because they trust his motives.  Though in the proverb: attitude is everything, the attitude’s influence is to some extent exaggerated, it should not be ignored.（有没有感觉和你上一段的语言，例子差太多了？？呵呵。不知道ets会怎么想？？还有，这段的内容在开头段没有丝毫提示，算是逻辑上的失策！）
    However, under some circumstances, we have no choices at all. For instance, we could not choose to be born in a rich family since it is the decided fact.（哇，这显然就暴露了你嫌贫爱富的心理嘛,在老没来看，就是一种歧视！！！！！）For instance,（连着两个for instance。。。。。） in the tsunami occurred recently, we all know that in this disaster, a lot of people lost their lives.（这个叙述还是chenglish.你上网搜搜新闻的英文报道，） They might have persisted in the flood for a long duration, but no aids arrived later until they had totally been enervated and sank into the sea forever. ( So ,they were deprived of the right of free choices forever ，总是要往主题上靠的)For this point, it is the situation where absence of choice is rare（怎么总结句的观点又倒过来了呢？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？？）这段太短了，而且给的例子很极端，属于百年不遇的灾难。你可以试着看看别人的例子，总结一下，呵呵，比如我的，我想我那个最后的例子还是很有普遍性的。还有就是语言的问题了，只能。。。。好好修练吧）.     To sum up, we have choices in essence whether we are in daily life or encounter difficulties. There is only much little possibilities when we have no choices at all.（总的来说看问题的眼光有点太狭隘了，只是翻来覆去的说选择到底烧不少。其中又明显插了一段态度问题（从开头结尾都看不出你要讨论这个内容），有摘抄的嫌疑，明显和其他不合谐。你应该 试着打开思路，去问为什么，去想可能性，比如我第二段说的关于freedom choice 的问题，你看一下其他人的，关于这个问题还是很有的值得讨论的。不要总是直接说“少，不少”然后僵硬的白例子。把思路扩展到别的，比如那个attitude 就算是一个扩展。好了，twenty three past one o’clock at midnight!!byebye

skaterUID: 2116878

草坪吧？？老g友，不客气拉