Issue48 同主题写作,欢迎来拍,一定来拍哦

jason0926UID??200697

issue48   "the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
观点:都重要
1)在科学研究领域，很多成就都是由个人实现的
2)在艺术创作中，由很多成就是个人取得的，也有很多是基于前人的总结和升华。
3)在社会领域，很多历史成就虽然是由个人主导的，但是最后的完成是靠大部分人
4)团体和个人的重要性都不能忽视.

The author claims that the study of history often involves emphasizing the achievements of specific individuals who were important to specific historical movements or events but not have more attentions on groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.In my point of view,i am inclined to support the idea that both individuals and groups of people are equally important.

In the first place,individuals play an signficant role in the domain of scientific research,some great scientific revolution is created by individuals.For example, Newton,one of the best famous scientists,create many extreme theories .And Galileo,when almost everybody of the time believe in the Aristotle's prevailed principle that the heavies a substance is, the more acceleration it has,it is him who conducted the famous experiment of Pisa and challenge this accpeted rule.In most historical documents, those significant figures which affect the temporal society are described as the only decision makers.

In the second place,in the field of arts,not only are these great achievments created by individuals but also by the combination of formers' or even exceed them.It is an invisible instance that Beethoven who marked the culmination of great classical models of Haydn and Mozart and then exceeded to create his own methods for elaboration of music which influence large numbers of later musicians.The differences between great man and normal people are that the former can syncretize other people's thoughts and have a new theory belongs to themself while the latter cannot.

In the third place,when it comes to social evolution, one must concede that the faceless groups of people have a prominent effect on the advancement of history. Firstly, no matter how great an individual is, he or she must depend on social conditions and multitude to achieve success. To better understanding this statement, on only need look at the Civil War. Albeit some people will attribute the success of the war to Lincoln's strong will to free the slavery and his endeavor for this goal, no one could deny that it is based on the thousands of slaves and their own unyielding struggle that Lincoln win the war and become one of hero. Secondly, as famous as Lincoln, one is born with any great ideas. In other words, one's thought is shaped by the objective circumstances around him or her. In this sense, it is the slaves' will for freedom provided Lincoln with the motivation of the war. In short, I concede that the masses do exert a profound influence on the history of social progress.

To sum up, without placing emphasis on individuals,we cannot investigate history roundly and concretely;without poeple unknown to public,we havenot these histories.Thus,we must can know the history more clear through combining the investigations of famous and unknown people.

jason0926UID??200697

一个人都没来呀,郁闷

ahqiuUID??207682

先占一个
待会儿吧

jason0926UID??200697

还是MM好啊

chl800816UID??2117517

the heavies a substance is
heavier
the more acceleration it has
好像用more不太好
large numbers of later musicians
number"s"?
on only need look at the Civil War
look at 能否换个词？

jason0926UID??200697

恩,谢谢,这几个方面却是有点疑问,会注意的,多谢

maggielongUID??175032

占个座

maggielongUID??175032

The author claims that the study of history often involves emphasizing the achievements of specific individuals who were important to specific historical movements or events but not have more attentions onpay attention to groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten. In my point of view, I am inclined to support the idea that both individuals and groups of people are equally important.

In the first place, individuals play an significant role in the domain of scientific research, some great scientific revolution is created by individuals. For example, Newton, one of the best换个好点的词吧preeminent famous scientists, createcreated many extreme 激进的，极端的？用great或brilliant吧theories .And Galileo, when almost everybody of the time believe in the Aristotle's prevailed principle that the heaviesheavier a substance is, the more acceleration不是更大的加速度，是更大的速度velocity it has, it is him who conducted the famous experiment of Pisa and challenge challengedthis accepted rule. In most historical documents, those significant figures whichwho affect the temporal society are described as the only decision makers.

In the second place, in the field of arts, not only are these great achievements created by individuals but also by the combination of formers' or even exceed them. 你的意思是不是说这些成果的取得不仅靠个人的努力,而且靠吸收前人得成果并超越之?我想可以这么写,不知行不行:these great achievements are created not only by individuals only but also by the combination and transcendence of the formers’ fruit,原来的句子有些混乱,注意平行结构  It is an invisible instance that Beethoven who marked the culmination of great classical models of Haydn and Mozart and then exceeded to create his own methods for elaboration of music which influenceinfluenced large numbers of later musicians. The differences between great man and normal people are that the former can syncretize other people's thoughts and have a new theory belongs to themselves while the latter cannot.

In the third place, when it comes to social evolution, one must concede that the faceless groups of people have a prominent effect on the advancement of history. Firstly, no matter how great an individual is, he or she must depend on social conditions and multitude查了字典才知道这个词:大批,大群,众多,大量.是名词. 不知楼主用这个词是什么意思? to achieve success. To better understanding this statement, on only need look at the Civil War. 这句话没主语Albeit some people will attribute the success of the war to Lincoln's strong will to free the slavery and his endeavor for this goal, no one could deny that it iswas based on the thousands of slaves and their own unyielding struggle that Lincoln winwon the war and becomebecame one of heroone of the prominent heroes. Secondly, secondly的观点在哪里?先写观点,再引例证as famous as Lincoln, one iswas born with any great ideas. In other words, one's thought is shaped by the objective circumstances around him or her. In this sense, it iswas the slaves' will for freedom provided Lincoln with the motivation of the war. In short, I concede that the masses do exert a profound influence on the history of social progress.

To sum up, without placing emphasis on individuals, we cannot investigate history roundly and concretely; without people unknown to publicthe public, we have not these histories. Thus, we must can 两个情态动词know the history more clear through combining the investigations of famous and unknown people.
楼主需要注意的几个问题:注意时态和语态的一致性, 词语的准确性,句子再通顺些
楼主的文章层次清晰,例证也很得当
继续努力,会有很大进步的!