issue27(9.21 9:29-10:00)--创新 Vs 守旧 。不要吝惜拎起的砖头，有拍必回。

xiaonawangUID：2114716

027 - 创新 Vs 守旧
"No one can possibly achieve success in the world by conforming to conventional practices and conventional ways of thinking."

这个世界上没有人能够靠墨守陈规（行动和思维上的）而获得成功。

1,墨守成规导致思想和行为的僵化。
2，打破常规才能有更大的发现
3，一些让步

Creative works are usually made by breaking off conventions,seeking out novel solutions to practical or theoretical problems.  Had Einstein conformed to the convention of Newton's classic physics, the Theory of Relativity could never come into being.  I prefer to agree with the assertion that No one can possibly achieve success in the world by conforming to conventional practices and ways of thinking. There are several points which can be used to justify my assertion.

To begin with, as we might all agree that indolence is perhaps part of human nature.  Each individual has a certain degree of laziness. By conforming to conventions , people may get more and more lazier, either in action or in thinking.  This we all know, from our experience, is dangerous.  It can put our life at the edge of a cliff.  Take Mid Career Change  as an example.  As we know that, nowadays, global competition is becoming ferocious. Employees can get easily fired. People are usually forced to make Mid-career Change, that is to change their career unwillingly.   This can happen not only in people who are midclass, or people who do some labour work , but also in people who traditionally think that they belong to an upper class, and hence have  no the worry of being fired.    Unfortunately, these upper class people can now find that they lost their job overnight and are being forced to make a painful change from the career they are used to , to the career they have no preparation for.  Most of these failure are due to a false sense of security, or a misleading thought that they were , are,  and will be forever secure in their pigeon hole.  Nothing is eternal, to some sense tells us the truth.  If one can not adjust himself to the constantly changing world , he is doomed to fail.

Hence, If we want to gain success, we should learn to struggle up from the mass of indolence and break off the old conventions.  This is perhaps the only way to real success in nearly every field.  I can quote the discovery of "Mad Cow Disease" virus--Prion as an example.   As convention tells us, any pathogenic organism (including Virus), in order to be infectious , must contain DNA or RNA  molecule which serve the purpose of genetic reproduction or propagation.  Yet surprisingly, Prusiner from the university of California demonstrated that "Mad Cow Disease"- the disease once decimated European countries contain no DNA or RNA molecule at all.  This big discovery leads to the redefinition of Virus. Due to this discovery,  He was awarded the Nobel prize of medicine and physiology in 1997 .  Suppose Prusiner confined his thoughts  to the convention that any virus contains DNA or RNA.  He will never find the real cause of this serious disease.  It is courage to break away from conventional beliefs that lead to this extraodinary discovery.

Finally, we shouldn't go so far  to say that we can not obey or utilize any preexisted rules.  Surely we can use some conventions effectively and conveniently.  By obeying established rules or conventions, we can save a lot of time and energy , it is much more efficient than exploring all the details in a given field.  But we should not always conform to conventional ways of thinking and practicing.  This pure abidance can do nothing but harm our creativity.  

In conclusion, from the points discussed above , I think I am justified to say that purely conforming to conventions does us no good and can be potentially damaging.  While struggling up to break off these established rules tend to benefit us either in practice or in thoughts. That is the way leading to real progress.

[ Last edited by xiaonawang on 2005-7-21 at 11:40 ]

xiaonawangUID：2114716

用了半个小时。好像是500多字。

[ Last edited by xiaonawang on 2005-7-21 at 10:21 ]

xiaonawangUID：2114716

这是第二篇issue.

xiaonawangUID：2114716

又修改了一下，解释了一下Mid Career Change
把疯牛病的例子又写了两句。
感觉还是表达不清楚。
可能还是有些专业。

结构上好像也有问题。最后的让步合适吗？

例子是不是太转业了。

结尾有力量吗？
希望大家不吝赐教。
谢谢

zehuaUID：199246

Creative works are usually made by breaking off conventions,seeking out novel solutions to practical or theoretical problems.  Had Einstein conformed to the convention of Newton's classic physics, the Theory of Relativity could never come (would never have come) into being.  I prefer to agree with the assertion that No one can possibly achieve success in the world by conforming to conventional practices and ways of thinking. There are several points which can be used to justify my assertion.

To begin with, as we might all agree that indolence is perhaps part of human nature.  Each individual has a certain degree of laziness. By conforming to conventions , people may get more and more lazier, either in action or in thinking.  This（as） we all know, from our experience, is dangerous.  It can put our life at the edge of a cliff.  Take Mid Career Change  as an example.  As we know that, nowadays, global competition is becoming ferocious（用词太艰深）. Employees can get easily fired. People are usually forced to make Mid-career Change, that is to change their career unwillingly.   This can happen not only in people who are midclass, or people who do some labour work , but also in people who traditionally think that they belong to an upper class, and hence have  no the（去掉THE) worry of being fired.    Unfortunately, these upper class people can（去掉CAN） now find that they lost（WOULD LOSE) their job overnight and are being forced to make a painful change from the career they are used to , to the career they have no preparation for.  Most of these failure are due to a false sense of security, or a misleading thought that they were , are,  and will be forever secure in their pigeon hole.  Nothing is eternal, to some sense tells us the truth.  If one can not adjust himself to the constantly changing world , he is doomed to fail.（这段好像没有主题句就开始论述了）

Hence, If we want to gain success, we should learn to struggle up from the mass of indolence and break off the old conventions.  This is perhaps the only way to real success in nearly every field.  I can quote the discovery of "Mad Cow Disease" virus--Prion as an example.   As convention tells us, any pathogenic organism (including Virus), in order to be infectious , must contain DNA or RNA  molecule which serve the purpose of genetic reproduction or propagation.  Yet surprisingly, Prusiner from the university of California demonstrated that "Mad Cow Disease"- the disease once decimated European countries contain no DNA or RNA molecule at all.  This big discovery leads to the redefinition of Virus. Due to this discovery,  He was awarded the Nobel prize of medicine and physiology in 1997 .  Suppose Prusiner confined his thoughts  to the convention that any virus contains DNA or RNA.  He will never find the real cause of this serious disease.  It is courage to break away from conventional beliefs that lead to this extraodinary discovery.

Finally, we shouldn't go so far  （AS）to say that we can not obey or utilize any preexisted rules.  Surely we can use some conventions effectively and conveniently.  By obeying established rules or conventions, we can save a lot of time and energy , it is much more efficient than exploring all the details in a given field.  But we should not always conform to conventional ways of thinking and practicing.  This pure abidance can do nothing but harm our creativity.  

In conclusion, from the points discussed above , I think I am justified to say that purely conforming to conventions does us no good and can be potentially damaging.  While struggling up to break off these established rules tend to benefit us either in practice or in thoughts. That is the way leading to real progress.

语言不是很流畅。有些语法错误。注意文章结构。:lol

elijah3UID：2108864

027 - 创新 Vs 守旧
"No one can possibly achieve success in the world by conforming to conventional practices and conventional ways of thinking."
Creative works are usually made by breaking off conventions, seeking out novel solutions to practical or theoretical problems.  Had Einstein conformed to the convention of Newton's classic physics, the Theory of Relativity could （would） never come into being. (缺乏连接词，有点突然) I prefer to agree with the assertion that No one can possibly achieve success in the world by conforming to conventional practices and ways of thinking. There are several points which can be used to justify my assertion.
开头的头两句话写得有点那个意思，不过后面的两句话就一下子把印象分降下来了。还有既然你在后面的部分有了让步，那么你最好在开头部分说清楚。在开头部分再改进一下，相信会给评阅老外留下很好的印象。

To begin with, as we might all agree that indolence is perhaps part of human nature (在各段首句最好先亮出自己的观点，作为TS；虽然在ets给出的范文中有的没这么做，那是高水平的人写的，作为初学者最好按部就班，达到一定水平后在寻求这样的格式，个人意见仅供参考).  Each individual has a certain degree of laziness. By conforming to conventions, people may get more and more lazier, either in action or in thinking.  This we all know (As we all know), from our experience, is dangerous.  It can put our life at the edge of a cliff (在正文的头几句话就用了两次we，不好).  Take Mid Career Change (是指什么啊？有点不明白啊！) as an example.  As we know that （又是we, 换一种表现方式吧，不然，阅卷老师会厌烦的）, nowadays, global competition is becoming ferocious （这个词中感觉有点过头. Employees can get easily fired. People are usually forced to make Mid-career Change, that （which） is to change their career unwillingly.   This can happen not only in people who are midclass, or people who do （undertake） some labour work, but also in people who traditionally think that they belong to an upper class, and hence have no the worry of being fired (典型的中国式英语).    Unfortunately, these upper class people can now find that they lost their job overnight and are being forced to make a painful change from the career they are used to, to the career they have no preparation for.  Most of these failure （failures） are due to a false sense of security, or a misleading thought that they were, are, and will be forever secure in their pigeon hole.  Nothing is eternal, to some sense tells us the truth (我也点不懂这个句子的结构).  If one can not adjust himself to the constantly changing world, he is doomed to fail. （An individual who failed to adjust himself to the constantly changing world is doomed to be eliminated through selection or contest）

Hence, if we want to gain success, we should learn to struggle up from the mass of indolence and break off the old conventions.  This is perhaps the only way to real success in nearly every field.  I can quote the discovery of "Mad Cow Disease" virus--Prion as an example.   As convention tells us, any pathogenic organism (including Virus), in order to be infectious , must contain DNA or RNA  molecule which serve the purpose of genetic reproduction or propagation.  Yet surprisingly, Prusiner from the university of California demonstrated that "Mad Cow Disease"- the disease once decimated European countries contain no DNA or RNA molecule at all.  This big discovery leads to the redefinition of Virus. Due to this discovery, he was awarded the Nobel prize of medicine and physiology in 1997 .  Suppose Prusiner confined his thoughts  to the convention that any virus contains DNA or RNA (the genome of any virus is either DNA or RNA).  He will never find the real cause of this serious disease (Supposing Prusiner confined his thoughts to the narrow convention that the genome of any virus is either DNA or RNA, the original cause of this serious disease would remain mysterious).  It is (the) courage to break away from conventional beliefs that lead to this extraodinary (extraordinary) discovery.
这段的例子举得舆论点比较符合，不过总感觉太专业了！
Finally, we shouldn't go so far to say that we cannot obey or utilize any preexisted rules.  Surely we can use some conventions effectively and conveniently.  By obeying （complying with） established rules or conventions, we can save a lot of time and energy , it is much more efficient than exploring all the details in a given field.  But we should not always conform to conventional ways of thinking and practicing.  This pure abidance can do nothing but harm our creativity.  
不妨再举个例子，字数也够了，同时也增加了说服力。有很多牛人的很多理论基础仍然是经典理论。
In conclusion, from the points discussed above, I think I am justified to say that purely conforming to conventions does us no good and can be potentially damaging （中国化）.  While struggling up to break off these established rules tend to benefit us either in practice or in thoughts. That is the way leading to real progress.

文章的思路基本没什么问题！差不多就这个思路。
写的时候要注意一下大小写啊！
在句子方面多下点功夫啊！尽量避免中国化的句子。还有让文章变得更通畅一点。
拍的很狠！不足之处望请原谅！
不知怎么变字体颜色,将就着看吧!