issue130 rabbitvv 教育类 欢迎互拍 必回

rabbitvvUID: 2115592

issue130:"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
1、孩子融入社会的能力对一个社会的确重要
2、但是降到决定社会命运是OVER-STATEMENT了。决定社会的命运是各种能力综合的结果
   A.有些人取得成就是由于其他的原因   
   B.即使有些人并没有很强的融入社会的能力也取得了很大的成就
3、关于第二点。我们的教育制度的确还存在很多漏洞。
   Children is a nation's future and is vital to a society's destiny. I concede that how children socialized is actually important for a society, yet it seems to be too extreme to regard it as a determinative factor. As for whether we have learned to raise our children, I basically agree with the speaker that there exists several flaws in the current education system and it is our duty to promote children's socialization ability in order to establish a better society.

Admittedly, how children socialized is vital for their future survival and is essential for social welfare to some extent. It is common sense that no one is an island; each one has to communicate with each other every day and learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment. For children, healthy correlation with peers or parents would contribute large to their adaptability in the future. By playing and talking with classmates, children can learn other's interests and opinions; through soccer games or other matches, children can know how to cooperate with others; through receiving praise or punishment, children can understand which dealing is right and which is wrong. In short, all the above experiences and lessons would help children grow to be tolerant and respectful social members, law-abiding citizens or effective leaders.

However, in my opinion, children's socialization is only an important factor contributing to a better society and the destiny of society should be determined by collective abilities, such as knowledge, courage, imagination, healthy, and so forth. In fact, many historical figures have made great achievements not totally caused by their capacity of socialization. For instance, Napoleon's achievements in the battlefield can be mainly attributed to his strong convictions and rich military knowledge although he had extraordinary talent in communication and lead as well. Even certain people lacking basic socialization skills can also grow to be celebrities. Newton is a telling example. He was notable for his shyness and diffidence during his childhood, but such kind of shortcomings could not check his enthusiasm and curiosity about all kinds of natural phenomena. His strong motivation to unveil all the mysteries of nature ultimately resulted in his success.

Turing next to the speaker's another claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society. If "better society" means a society where people have effective communication skills and inclination to cooperate with others, then our contemporary society actually needs to pay more attention to children's appropriate cultivation and direction. In fact, our current education system seems to put strong emphasis on intellectual trainings, while overlooks the cultivation of emotions. Children have been infused with an idea that if they can have a high grade and enter first-class universities, they would get praises from their teachers and parents and they are surely successful. Under this circumstance, children may value intellect and competition over other precious abilities which would benefit them grow to be better citizens in the future. Furthermore, the information technology has also infiltrated into children's lives. The prevalence of internet, especially the long-distance education causes more and more children sitting before the computer and lacking opportunities to discuss and play with peers. Obviously, if without proper help and guidance of our society, the virtual world would devour children's basic ability of effective intercourse.

In sum, although how children are socialized is really important for a better society, it is unreasonable to regard it as the only one essential ability which can decide our society's destiny. Yet, in order to establish a better society, it is our duty to realize the extant flaws in our society and give our children more guidance and attention.

greenlemonUID: 2169154

Children is(are) a nation's future and is(are) vital to a society's destiny. I concede that how children socialized is actually important for a society, yet it seems to be too extreme to regard it as a determinative factor. As for whether we have learned to raise our children, I basically agree with the speaker that there exists several flaws in the current education system and it is our duty to promote children's socialization ability in order to establish a better society.

Admittedly, how children socialized is vital for their future survival and is essential for social welfare to some extent. It is common sense that no one is an island(detached island英语中有这样现成的习语吗，如果没有考虑换种说法吧); each one has to communicate with each other（others） every day and learn(see, affected by) acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment. For children, healthy correlation with peers or parents would contribute large to their adaptability in the future. By playing and talking with classmates, children can learn other's interests and opinions; through soccer games or other matches, children can(can太多了，去掉这个) know how to cooperate with others; through receiving praise or punishment, children can understand which dealing is right and which is wrong（differentiate right from wrong）. In short, all the above experiences and lessons would help children grow to be tolerant and respectful social members, law-abiding citizens or effective leaders.

However, in my opinion, children's socialization is only an important factor contributing to a better society (加个逗号)and the destiny of society should be determined by collective abilities, such as knowledge, courage, imagination, healthy, and so forth. In fact, many historical figures have made great achievements not totally caused by their capacity of socialization. For instance, Napoleon's achievements in the battlefield can be mainly attributed to his strong convictions and rich military knowledge although he had extraordinary talent in communication and lead（leadership） as well. Even certain people lacking basic socialization skills can also grow to be celebrities. Newton is a telling example. He was notable for his shyness and diffidence during his childhood, but such kind of shortcomings could not check his enthusiasm and curiosity about all kinds of natural phenomena. His strong motivation to unveil all the mysteries of nature ultimately resulted in his success.

Turing next to the speaker's another claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society. If "better society" means a society where people have effective communication skills and inclination to cooperate with others, then our contemporary society actually needs to pay more attention to children's appropriate cultivation and direction. In fact, our current education system seems to put strong emphasis on intellectual trainings, while overlooks the cultivation of emotions. Children have been infused with an idea that if they can have a high grade and enter first-class universities, they would get praises from their teachers and parents and they are surely successful. Under this circumstance, children may value intellect and competition over other precious abilities which would benefit them grow(in growing) to be better citizens in the future. Furthermore, the information technology has also infiltrated into children's lives. The prevalence of internet, especially the long-distance education causes more and more children sitting before the computer and lacking opportunities to discuss and play with peers. Obviously, if without proper help and guidance of our society, (addiction to)the virtual world would devour children's basic ability of effective intercourse.

In sum, although how children are socialized is really important for a better society, it is unreasonable to regard it as the only one(去掉) essential ability which can decide our society's destiny. Yet, in order to establish a better society, it is our duty to realize the extant flaws in our society（education） and give our children more guidance and attention.(guidance 和attention用一个谓语不合适，去掉attention 加个in their socialization)

结构很清晰。关于什么是socialization 开始大家都挺模糊， 有自己的见解，自圆其说就行了。
昨天晚上上不去gter，今天要回学校，改的比较匆忙，但是也找不出什么其他问题了，只是语言上较你以前的一些闪光点不够多，这个就提高要求了，偶一向是笔杆子二流眼光一流呢………………