argument76 同主题，自以为不错~欢迎互拍，有拍必应

kito9695UID: 209685

欢迎互拍，自认为不错的一篇:$~有拍必应！！438字

0510G同主题写作第七期－－argument76
【题目】
The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.
"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."

【翻译】
一组志愿者参加了一项关于消费者对新的Luxess面霜的反应的调查。在一个月中的每个早晨，他们都用柔和香皂洗脸然后使用Luxess。一个月之后，多数志愿者报告说他们皮肤的观感显著改善。因此，这说明Luxess对于改善面部皮肤状况确实有效。

[提纲]
1、思维不全面，没有排除其他可能改善皮肤的因素：食物、保养、温和的肥皂
2、样本是否具有代表性、验证试验流程、时间是否科学
3、数据模糊性——多数志愿者的比例是多少
4、观感明显改善没办法操作、心理作用、判断是否准确
5、一个月的时间不够长，可能以后还会有其他反应

[正文]
By giving a simple study of a group of volunteers, the article is inclined to believe the excellent effect of the new Luxess face cream. It is not to deny that there is the probability that Luxess is exactly effective in improving the condition of facial skin, however, the conclusion mentioned ignoring other possible issues seems not so compelling.

In the first place, the article fails to consider other influential factors that may possible prove facial skin , while it pays too much attention on the new Luxess face cream. With the reference to biology, factors which may prove skin prove to be varies, such as temperature，moisture , nutritious and even the mild soap. In the argument, the group of volunteers washed their face every day in the morning when it was possible a good time for skin’s improving. Besides, maybe they carried on the study in a month just with proper temperature and moisture which can help to improve facial skin. At the same time, the article doesn’t rule out the effect made by the mild soap which may effect more than the new Luxess face cream.

Secondly, there is no evidence indicating that the sample is representative so well as the procedure of the study is scientific. We can not fide the precise data of the number of total members in the group. Granted that the number is large, but what about the percentage of volunteer who reported at last? In the absence of data concerning about the people who has both take part in and reported , the conclusion of the article therefore looks unreasonable. In addition, the steps of study that taken by the group of people doesn’t convince us that it surely serves to the study rather than a useless work. So in order to reach the point that Luxess is effective, we need more convincing evidences.

Subsequently, the article commits a fallacy of false assumption. It factitiously believes the reporter could judge what was a marked improve of their facial skin regardless of the possible psychological effect.  It may be true that they felt good about their facial skin just by implying themselves they were using a new effective cream, whereas there was no effect at all.

Finally, one month is really not enough to tell if a new cream is effective or not. It may be effect now, but how about two months later? No one can ensure that there will not be any side effect coming out.

Therefore, the The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. All the issues mentioned above should be taken in to account.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-21 at 17:26 ]

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

我也是第一次写，所以经验不多。语言上不敢说什么。
首先是觉得文章有点头重脚轻，应该把最后一段写长一点，总结一下所有的问题。
倒数第二段如果比较短，合在倒数第三段里会不会好一点呢？没必要一定凑段数阿。
the conclusion mentioned ignoring other possible issues seems not so compelling.这句话放在第一段，是否是说整篇文章的方向都是说明其他可能性会带来相同的结果呢？这点我读的有点晕噢
不过，如果是限时的话，是很不错的。
希望你也看看我的，我写的超时太多了，好像写得也太多。
互拍互拍
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

[ Last edited by mvpzhuang on 2005-7-21 at 09:08 ]

xiaonawangUID: 2114716

By giving a simple study of a group of volunteers, the article is inclined to believe the excellent effect of the new Luxess face cream. It is not to deny that there is the probability that Luxess is exactly effective in improving the condition of facial skin, however, the conclusion mentioned ignoring other possible issues seems not so compelling. (:这句话有些让人费解)

In the first place, the article fails to consider other influential factors that may possible prove facial skin , while it pays too much attention on the new Luxess face cream. With the reference to biology, factors which may prove skin prove to be varies, such as temperature，moisture , nutritious and even the mild soap. In the argument, the group of volunteers washed their face every day in the morning when it was possible a good time for skin’s improving. Besides, maybe they carried on the study in a month just with proper temperature and moisture which can help to improve facial skin. At the same time, the article doesn’t rule out the effect made by the mild soap which may effect more than the new Luxess face cream.(批驳点可以,但是句子组织好象有些不太精到)

Secondly, there is no evidence indicating that the sample is representative so well as the procedure of the study is scientific. We can not fide the precise data of the number of total members in the group. Granted that the number is large, but what about the percentage of volunteer who reported at last? In the absence of data concerning about the people who has both take part in and reported , the conclusion of the article therefore looks unreasonable. In addition, the steps of study that taken by the group of people doesn’t convince us that it surely serves to the study rather than a useless work. So in order to reach the point that Luxess is effective, we need more convincing evidences.

Subsequently, the article commits a fallacy of false assumption. It factitiously believes the reporter could judge what was a marked improve of their facial skin regardless of the possible psychological effect.  It may be true that they felt good about their facial skin just by implying themselves they were using a new effective cream, whereas there was no effect at all.

Finally, one month is really not enough to tell if a new cream is effective or not. It may be effect now, but how about two months later? No one can ensure that there will not be any side effect coming out.

Therefore, the The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. All the issues mentioned above should be taken in to account.

总体感觉不错.语言上再组织一下.加油

有空帮我看看。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... light=%2Bxiaonawang

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... light=%2Bxiaonawang

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1637261

[ Last edited by xiaonawang on 2005-7-21 at 09:42 ]

kito9695UID: 209685

感谢楼上的朋友~~稍候定当一一回拍~

chris_zhUID: 2101887

By giving a simple study of a group of volunteers, the article is inclined to believe the excellent effect of the new Luxess face cream. It is not to deny that there is the [a?]probability that Luxess is exactly effective in improving the condition of facial skin, however, the conclusion mentioned ignoring other possible issues seems not so compelling.[开头很精彩]

In the first place, the article fails to consider other influential factors that may possible prove facial skin , while it pays too much attention on the new Luxess face cream. With the reference to biology, factors which may prove[improve] skin prove to be varies, such as temperature，moisture , nutritious and even the mild soap. In the argument, the group of volunteers washed their face every day in the morning when it was possible a good time for skin’s improving. Besides, maybe they carried on the study in a month just with proper temperature and moisture which can help to improve facial skin. At the same time, the article doesn’t rule out the effect made by the mild soap which may effect more than the new Luxess face cream.

Secondly, there is no evidence indicating that the sample is representative so well as the procedure of the study is scientific. We can not fide the precise data of the number of total members in the group. Granted that the number is large, but what about the percentage of volunteer who reported at last? In the absence of data concerning about the people who has both take part in and reported , the conclusion of the article therefore looks unreasonable. [喜欢前面的这几句论证]In addition, the steps of study that taken by the group of people doesn’t convince us that it surely serves to the study rather than a useless work.[能否解释一下？不太理解 ]So in order to reach the point that Luxess is effective, we need more convincing evidences.

Subsequently, the article commits a fallacy of false assumption. It factitiously believes the reporter could judge what was a marked improve[ment] of their facial skin regardless of the possible psychological effect.  It may be true that they felt good about their facial skin just by implying themselves they were using a new effective cream, whereas there was no effect at all.

Finally, one month is really not enough to tell if a new cream is effective or not. It may be effect now, but how about two months later? No one can ensure that there will not be any side effect coming out.

Therefore, the The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. All the issues mentioned above should be taken in to account.
[总的来说是挺不错的，很多地方值得学习！]