issue130 G-89-互助社-8.1日同主题写作

fishjoyUID: 2116013

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."（高频）
Outline：（孩子接受社会化教育的同时也应被鼓励发展个性，这样才能保证社会的稳定与发展；当代的教育已能较好教育儿童，尽管在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。）
1.        社会化使得孩子为社会所接受，有利于孩子的发展，同时也使社会保持稳定和连续，社会文化得以传承。
2.        在社会化的同时应注意对孩子个性与批判性思维的培养，这样才能给社会增添活力，推动社会进步。
3.        当代教育已能有效地教育儿童，但在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。
正文：
130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."（高频）
Outline：（孩子接受社会化教育的同时也应被鼓励发展个性，这样才能保证社会的稳定与发展；当代的教育已能较好教育儿童，尽管在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。）
1.        社会化使得孩子为社会所接受，有利于孩子的发展，同时也使社会保持稳定和连续，社会文化得以传承。
2.        在社会化的同时应注意对孩子个性与批判性思维的培养，这样才能给社会增添活力，推动社会进步。
3.        当代教育已能有效地教育儿童，但在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。
正文：
Effective education for children always presents a hot issue in our society for children are acknowledged as our future. What kind of education a child receives not only determines the child’s future, but also the destiny of society. We have exerted ourselves to offer children effective education, while the education fails to balance the socializing against individualization.

First of all, socializing children bring benefits both to children themselves and society. On the individual level, a child who is socialized can adapt themselves to society and get along with other people much more easily. In other words, it is reasonable for us to believe that a child who is socialized will grow up to an eligible citizen. On the society level, socializing children means keeping society under control and ensure culture to be passed down from one generation to another effectively. For example, in Japan, the education focuses much on socializing children so that Japan is a typical united society and the traditional culture has been preserved perfectly.

On the other hand, we can not ignore that cultivating children’s individuality and critical thinking is as important as socializing children. As we know, the power of society’s advancement stems from people’s individuality and critical thinking. For example, because of historical reasons, American society is a multi-cultural society where every people can preserve its tradition. And in American educational system, children are always encouraged to know more about their own nations’ traditional cultures. And it is safe to contend that the great creativity of American people stems from the multi-cultural environment. By contrary, a child who only receives the education of socializing would probably lose his or her individuality and do not know how to think critically. In that case, the child would grow to be a law-abiding citizen but far from enough to be a productive citizen.

Last but not least, our modern education has provided quite effective education to children, but we fail to balance the socializing against individualism. Take Japan and America for instance again. The traditional education in Japan overstates socializing children such that a child who shows a little bit individuality would be considered intolerant and forced to be shaped as others. Meanwhile the education in America overemphasizes individualism, which leads to the birth of ego-centered generations that lack a feeling of responsibility for the society. So the ideal effective education is to find a point to balance the scale, a point we have not found yet.

To sum up, effective education should balance the socializing against individualization well. The kind of education we offered to our children determines the destiny of society. In the issue of effective education, we still have a long way to go.
(小修改了一下:)）

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-3 at 00:08 ]

polymathUID: 179557

占个座！晚上一起改！你也帮我看看那篇argument 38啊！:)


https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=309849                    (argument-38)

polymathUID: 179557

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."（高频）
Outline：（孩子接受社会化教育的同时也应被鼓励发展个性，这样才能保证社会的稳定与发展；当代的教育已能较好教育儿童，尽管在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。）
1.        社会化使得孩子为社会所接受，有利于孩子的发展，同时也使社会保持稳定和连续，社会文化得以传承。
2.        在社会化的同时应注意对孩子个性与批判性思维的培养，这样才能给社会增添活力，推动社会进步。
3.        当代教育已能有效地教育儿童，但在个性与社会化的平衡方面仍需商榷。
正文：
Effective education for children always presents a mainhot,说成热点问题比较恰当！ issue in our society foras children are acknowledged as our future. What kind of education a child receives not only determines the child’s future, but also the destiny of society. 我这个句子不错！We have exerted ourselves to offer children effective education, while the education fails to balance the socialism against individualism socialism 和individualism都换个词吧？一 个社会主义，一个个人主义，跑题了？你和Liulin12369昨晚讨论那么火热，怎么还是没有修改呀？:eek:.


First of all, socializing childrensocializing children是让儿童过集体生活，勉强符合题意！但不能做中心论点呀？你的提纲是使儿童社会化。 bring benefits both to children themselves and society. On theindividual level, a socialized再提，不要随便用过去分词，socialized做形容词是公有的。 child can adapt themselves to society and get along with other people much more easily. In other words, it is reasonable for us to believe that a child who is socialized will grow up to an eligible citizen. On thesociety level, socializing children means keeping society under control and ensure culture to be passed down from one generation to another effectively. For example, in Japan, the education focuses much on socializing children so that Japan is a typical united society and the traditional culture has been preserved perfectly. 论据用的不错！


On the other hand, we can not ignore that cultivating children’s individuality and critical thinking is as important as socializing children. As we know, the power of society’s advancement stems from people’s individuality and critical thinking. For example, because of historical reasons, American society is a multi-cultural society where everyeach people can preserve its his/hertradition. And in American educational system, children are always encouraged to know more about their own nations’ traditional cultures. And it is safe to contend that the great creativity of American people stems from the multi-cultural environment. By contrary, a child who only receives the education of socialism老毛病！这是社会主义的意思！ would probably lose his or her individuality and do not know how to think critically. In that case, the child would grow to be a law-abiding citizen but far from enough to be a productive citizen. 从正反对比论证培养儿童的个性对社会进步的重要性。还不错！


Last but not least, our modern education has provided quite effective education to children, but we fail to balance the socialism against individualism. Take Japan and America for instance again. The traditional education in Japan overstates socializing children suchas that a child who shows a little bit individuality would be considered intolerant and forced to be shaped as others. Meanwhile the education in America overemphasizes individualism, which leads to the birth of ego-centered generations that lack a feeling of responsibility for ourthe society. So the ideal effective education is to find a point to balance the scale, a point we have not found yet.


To sum up, effective education should balance the socialism against individualism well. The kind of education we offered to our children determines the destiny of society. In the issue of effective education, we still have a long way to go.结尾太仓促来哦！感觉最后一句话没有说完就停手了！遗憾！


总体来说！你这篇130和Liulin12369各有千秋呀！感觉第3段写的比较好！其它的段落继续要修正！:)

fishjoyUID: 2116013

socializing children是使儿童社会化的意思（socialize:to make social;especially to fit or train for a social environment)
people有“民族”的意思