Argument74 感觉不太好写呢

gglnba1UID: 202786

Argument74  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
------题目------
The following appeared in a newsletter about education policy.
'The average annual earnings of high school dropouts are significantly less than the average annual earnings of high school graduates. To address this problem, the state governor has proposed that the state should establish free vocational training programs for high school dropouts. But the availability of such programs would probably encourage some students who would otherwise have graduated to drop out in order to pursue vocational training. Hence the proposed programs would lower, not raise, the average earning potential of young people. Therefore, the state should not establish the vocational training programs but should instead focus on improving academic programs in our high schools.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author concludes that in order to improve education policy the state should focus on improving academic programs in high schools rather than providing vocational training programs. To support this, the evidence that training programs do not go functionally as it is proposed, and the average earning potential of young people would be undermined if taking this is another seemingly powerful reason. However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies.

To begin with, students' pursuing vocational training will make them have ideas that dropping our school is an unsubstantiated assumption, which is unwarranted. The author fails to rule out the possibilities that the unemployment under the special circumstance render more students, whether dropping out or not, willingly learning both knowledge from books and outside in the pursuit of obtaining more powerful competent in a long run. Apparently, here lacks of convincing points.

Secondly, even more students drop out school in the pursuit of gaining vocational training, the mere fact that the proposed programs would lower the average earning potential of young people is unwarranted. The author never drops a word into the criteria that what is the earning potential of young people. As we know, earning potential of young people is largely determined upon inborn features and special environment. Perhaps a certain student is born in a family that all the generations are doing business, and thus both the gene and circumstance facilitates he or she to have ability for earning even dropping out.

Last but not least, the author commits a "false dilemma" that there only exists improving academic programs besides establishing vocational training programs to improve education policies. In order to change this condition, the school can establish some new rules about vocational training programs. For example, it can make students who participate this but not dropping out schools must have special conditions such as better grade, high quality of behavior and so forth. And also these students must promise not dropping out after taking part in this training program. Moreover, as the training program itself, schools can enlarge the amount in order to help more students obtaining vocational skills.

In sum, this argument is not reliable as it stands. To better assess this argument, the author should provide more detail and convincing evidence to demonstrate students who participates the vocational program will certainly leave school and hence this program undermined their potential earning ability. Also, the evidence that school authority must take academic programs besides vocational training programs is needed.

bishao422UID: 204362

Argument74  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
------题目------
The following appeared in a newsletter about education policy.
'The average annual earnings of high school dropouts are significantly less than the average annual earnings of high school graduates. To address this problem, the state governor has proposed that the state should establish free vocational training programs for high school dropouts. But the availability of such programs would probably encourage some students who would otherwise have graduated to drop out in order to pursue vocational training. Hence the proposed programs would lower, not raise, the average earning potential of young people. Therefore, the state should not establish the vocational training programs but should instead focus on improving academic programs in our high schools.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author concludes that in order to improve education policy the state should focus on improving academic programs in high schools rather than providing vocational training programs. To support this, the evidence that training programs do not go functionally as it is proposed, and the average earning potential of young people would be undermined if taking this is another seemingly powerful reason. However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies.

To begin with, students' pursuing vocational training will make them have ideas that dropping our school is an unsubstantiated assumption, which is unwarranted. The author fails to rule out the possibilities that the unemployment under the special circumstance render more students, whether dropping out or not, willingly learning both knowledge from books and outside in the pursuit of obtaining more powerful competent in a long run.这个possibility说的好像不清不楚,就算你说的成立 对反驳作者的观点好像没有驳斥力, the students 想要提升自己的社会竞争力也有可能选择去vocational training programs加强学习阿 Apparently, here lacks of convincing points. 有论证 但是不够透彻, 可以从为什么高中生不会drop out上加多几个possibilities, 这个free vocational training programs能否让人顺利就业,所带来的给学生的经济效益如何等都未知 这些都是高中生要考虑的因素

Secondly, even more students drop out school in the pursuit of gaining vocational training, the mere fact that the proposed programs would lower the average earning potential of young people is unwarranted. The author never drops a word into the criteria that what is the earning potential of young people. As we know, earning potential of young people is largely determined upon inborn features and special environment. Perhaps a certain student is born in a family that all the generations are doing business, and thus both the gene and circumstance facilitates he or she to have ability for earning even dropping out. 不是很认同楼主对gene 影响earning potential, 这里可以说:作者无法推出参加该项目会降低the earning potential of young people,因为free vocational training programs毕竟可以让students获得更多的职业skill,而这些职业skill就是可以让他们提升earning potential

Last but not least, the author commits a "false dilemma" that there only exists improving academic programs besides establishing vocational training programs to improve education policies. In order to change this condition, the school can establish some new rules about vocational training programs. For example, it can make students who participate this but not dropping out schools must have special conditions such as better grade, high quality of behavior and so forth. And also these students must promise not dropping out after taking part in this training program. Moreover, as the training program itself, schools can enlarge the amount in order to help more students obtaining vocational skills.呵呵 这点论证的不错

In sum, this argument is not reliable as it stands. To better assess this argument, the author should provide more detail and convincing evidence to demonstrate students who participates the vocational program will certainly leave school and hence this program undermined their potential earning ability. Also, the evidence that school authority must take academic programs besides vocational training programs is needed.
愚见不少 呵呵 希望楼主自己分析下
至于语言方面 我自己不行 所以就不能帮你改了
有空帮我看看吧 谢咯~~:)
Argument37
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318206
Issue185
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318209

phobeUID: 199595

The following appeared in a newsletter about education policy.
'The average annual earnings of high school dropouts are significantly less than the average annual earnings of high school graduates. To address this problem, the state governor has proposed that the state should establish free vocational training programs for high school dropouts. But the availability of such programs would probably encourage some students who would otherwise have graduated to drop out in order to pursue vocational training. Hence the proposed programs would lower, not raise, the average earning potential of young people. Therefore, the state should not establish the vocational training programs but should instead focus on improving academic programs in our high schools.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author concludes that in order to improve education policy the state should focus on improving academic programs in high schools rather than providing vocational training programs. To support this, the evidence that training programs do not go functionally[有这个用法吗?] as it is proposed, and the average earning potential of young people would be undermined if taking this is another seemingly powerful reason.[上面两句不通,其实没必要把这些evidence罗列,看看精华版帖子你就明白了] However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies.

To begin with, students' pursuing vocational training will make them have ideas that dropping our school[直接说make them have ideas to drop our school] is an unsubstantiated assumption, which is unwarranted[多余]. The author fails to rule out the possibilities that the unemployment under the special circumstance render more students, whether dropping out or not, willingly learning both knowledge from books and outside in the pursuit of obtaining more powerful competent in a long run.[牵强,语法也有错误] Apparently, here lacks of convincing points.[点找对了,但是没有分析到位]

Secondly, even more students drop out school in the pursuit of gaining vocational training, the mere fact that the proposed programs would lower the average earning potential of young people is unwarranted. The author never drops a word into the criteria that what is the earning potential of young people. As we know, earning potential of young people is largely determined upon inborn features and special environment. Perhaps a certain student is born in a family that all the generations are doing business, and thus both the gene and circumstance facilitates he or she to have ability for earning even dropping out.[我个人觉得你对于lower the average earning potential of young people 的强调点错了,原文的潜台词应该是从vocatonal training 出来的学生的赚钱能力没有graduates强,所以你应分析vocational training 的优势是什么]
Last but not least, the author commits a "false dilemma"[要引号吗] that there only exists improving academic programs besides establishing vocational training programs to improve education policies.[读上去有点别扭啊] In order to change this condition[不合适], the school can establish some new rules about vocational training programs. For example, it can make students who participate this but not dropping out schools must have special conditions such as better grade, high quality of behavior and so forth. And also these students must promise not dropping out after taking part in this training program. Moreover, as the training program itself, schools can enlarge the amount in order to help more students obtaining vocational skills.

In sum, this argument is not reliable as it stands. To better assess this argument, the author should provide more detail and convincing evidence to demonstrate that students who participates the vocational program will certainly leave school and hence this program undermined their potential earning ability. Also, the evidence that school authority must take academic programs besides vocational training programs is needed.
尽管3个驳斥点你找的很准,但是分析不是很透彻尤其是b2,个人感觉问题很大,而且句子有点不太流畅,建议在贴出来之前现在word好好查错,那是好东西.
我也写argu了,帮忙看看吧