argument147 高频,欢迎拍砖

childrenqUID: 2109575

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

1.survey有问题
2.玩家除了画面之外还会注意别的方面
3.市场上有竞争对手

This argument is not well reasoned. The author of this editorial cites a survey which has several flaws and other evidence to assert the sales of Whirlwind video games are going to get considerable increase in the next few months.

First of all, the survey cited above has several problems. Who conduct the survey? How many video-game players did they ask? How many respondents are there? How old are they? Are they males or females? Are they students or employees? How often do they play video-game? What kind of video-game do they like? Until all these answers are answered, it is worthy to take the survey as a reference.

In addition, no evidence shows that if a game has lifelike graphics, video-game players will buy it, there are many other things they will consider when they make a decision. First, the kind of the game is the most important. There are various kinds of game, such as RPG(role-playing games), action games, intellect games and so forth. No matter how lifelike the graphics of the game are, if it is not the certain kind one likes, he/she will not buy it. Second, the content of the game is also significant. If it is a RPG, it should have an attractive story. Cool action design is needed when it comes to action games. Therefore, graphics is not the only thing video-game players concentrate on.

What is more, there are many competitors in the market. Competitors will also do surveys, if they found that video-game players are fond of lifelike graphics is true, they will produce games with nice graphic too. Another possibility is that may be other company's products are better than Whirlwind's in other aspects which people are interested in. Even games of other competitors are better than Whirlwind's in all aspects is possible.

To sum up, many undecided factors show that it is presumptuous to say that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few months.

咯噔UID: 2114564

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games.我觉得着一点要不要批一下啊?没有证据证明10-25爱玩这种游戏啊.可以就放在最后一段提一下. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

1.survey有问题
2.玩家除了画面之外还会注意别的方面
3.市场上有竞争对手

This argument is not well reasoned. The author of this editorial cites a survey which has several flaws and other evidence to assert the sales of Whirlwind video games are going to get considerable increase in the next few months.开头不是最好还是要把EVIDENCE简要概括一下吗?

First of all, the survey cited above has several problems. Who conduct the survey? How many video-game players did they ask? How many respondents are there? How old are they? Are they males or females? Are they students or employees? How often do they play video-game? What kind of video-game do they like? Until all these answers are answered, it is worthy to take the survey as a reference.但我觉得最主要的倾向性问题.本来说这些都可以,但题上已经把问题都给出了不提不好吧

In addition, no evidence shows that if a game has lifelike graphics, video-game players will buy it, there are many other things they will consider when they make a decision. First, the kind? of the game is the most important. There are various kinds of game, such as RPG(role-playing games), action games, intellect games and so forth. No matter how lifelike the graphics of the game are, if it is not the certain kind one likes, he/she will not buy it. Second, the content of the game is also significant. If it is a RPG, it should have an attractive story. Cool action design is needed when it comes to action games. Therefore, graphics is not the only thing video-game players concentrate on.:cool:这一段写得又清楚又精彩
What is more, there are many competitors in the market. Competitors will also do surveys, if they found that video-game players are fond of lifelike graphics is true, they will produce games with nice graphic too. Another possibility is that may be other company's products are better than Whirlwind's in other aspects which people are interested in. Even games of other competitors are better than Whirlwind's in all aspects is possible.

To sum up, many undecided factors show that it is presumptuous to say that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few months.最后作者不用说哪些需要改进吗?

:victory:我觉得写得不错哈.又简洁又清楚.