argument147

果小冻UID：208370

The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'


提纲：
1广告和调查的人群有偏差
2，玩家不一定会买，因为游戏还有其他因素
3，整个市场因素，以及WV的经营问题

The argument concludes that in the next few months the sales of WV video games are likely to increase dramatically because of their advertising campaign receivers, who are assumed to be  most likely to play video games. Though reasonable at the first glance, however, after carefully analyzing the conclusion is rather questionable.

First of all, the author asserts that people between 10 to 25 are those most interested in playing video games, while giving no useful evidence at all. The survey on which this argument relies is completely open to doubt, as it provides no information about the people who took this survey at all. Their ages, their incomes are all under the table, thus the authority of this survey is rather doubtful. It is entirely possible that these people are out of 10 to 25, as a result, their preference cannot be applied to the advertising receivers. Because of this deadly difference between survey and advertising, the assertion which the author makes is completely a fantasy. Unless we are provided information about the ages and other important conditions of the survey and advertising receivers, we should not make any hasty conclusion.

Furthermore, even if people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games, it did not follow that they will buy the products. First, besides the most important feature, there are also other crucial factors that determine whether a game is popular or not, such as the theme, the type of the game. Without interesting and striking themes, the games will not have any value though providing lifelike graphics. Second, since the lifelike graphics need the most up-to-date computers, 10 to 25 years old players could not possibly afford that since most of them are students. Perhaps they will prefer to borrow the games from friends rather than buying by themselves. Last but not the least, even if these people are willing and having the ability to buy, it does mean that they will of course choose the products of WV. The author fails to provide any information about other companies whose products have the same features with WV. Perhaps the buyers have many alternatives, thus no one can insure they will doubtlessly choose WV. In short, we cannot take it for granted that people will surely buy the products provided by WV without any persuasive evidence.

Moreover, the author should provide us some information about the whole market of the video games. It is probably that this market is not so good as a whole. Or perhaps there is a economic recession at recent time. Accordingly, people do not have the ability to afford such kind of video games, since their fundamental life cannot be insured at all. These games are completely luxury items for them. In addition, the reason why the sales of WV video games have declined over the past two years should be provided also. It is quite possible that the quality of their games is very poor. Due to all talked above, although the new video games introduced by WV are rather striking, they will not succeed in the market either.

In a sum, given the positive answers above, advertising campaign alone cannot bring WV increase in sales. The author should provide more certain evidences about the specific features of the game, as well as the conditions of the buyers and the whole game market.

果小冻UID：208370

哈哈有空帮我改改,恩恩,西西

jinxinUID：2113746

Originally posted by 果小冻 at 2005-11-21 12:39
提纲：
1广告和调查的人群有偏差
2，玩家不一定会买，因为游戏还有其他因素
3，整个市场因素，以及WV的经营问题

The argument concludes that in the next few months the sales of WV video games are likely to increase dramatically because of their advertising campaign receivers, who are assumed to be  most likely to play video games. Though reasonable at the first glance, however, after carefully analyzing the conclusion is rather questionable.

First of all, the author asserts that people between 10 to 25 are those most interested in playing video games, while giving no useful evidence at all. The survey on which this argument relies is completely open to doubt, as it provides no information about the people who took this survey at all. Their ages, their incomes are all under the table, thus[问个问题，thus是连词么？ms不是吧] the authority[authenticity更好些吧] of this survey is rather doubtful. It is entirely possible that these people are out of 10 to 25, [and] as a result, their preference cannot be applied to the advertising receivers. Because of this deadly difference between survey and advertising, the assertion which the author makes is completely a fantasy. Unless we are provided information about the ages and other important conditions of the survey and advertising receivers, we should not make any hasty conclusion.

Furthermore, even if people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games, it did not follow that they will buy the products. First, besides the most important feature,[what is the feature? lifelike graphic,个人感觉有点不清晰] there are also other crucial factors that determine whether a game is popular or not, such as the theme, the type of the game. [我觉得这些都是游戏的最重要的特征] Without interesting and striking themes, the games will not have any value though providing lifelike graphics. Second, since the lifelike graphics need the most up-to-date computers, 10 to 25 years old players could not possibly afford that since most of them are students. [这个不一定，工作的比例还是挺大的] Perhaps they will prefer to borrow the games from friends rather than buying by themselves.[这点我一直不敢写，不知道外国对软件间的互借使用问题如何看待，是不是跟盗版一个性质阿] Last but not the least, even if these people are willing and having the ability to buy, it does mean that they will of course choose the products of WV. The author fails to provide any information about other companies whose products have the same features with WV. Perhaps the buyers have many alternatives, thus no one can insure they will doubtlessly choose WV. In short, we cannot take it for granted that people will surely buy the products provided by WV without any persuasive evidence.
[至于人们是不是卖WW的，是不是放在下面比较好，否则论述有点重复]
Moreover, the author should provide us some information about the whole market of the video games. It is probably that this market is not so good as a whole. Or perhaps there is a economic recession at recent time. Accordingly, people do not have the ability to afford such kind of video games, since their fundamental life cannot be insured at all. These games are completely luxury items for them. In addition, the reason why the sales of WV video games have declined over the past two years should be provided also. It is quite possible that the quality of their games is very poor. Due to all talked above, although the new video games introduced by WV are rather striking, they will not succeed in the market either.

In a sum, given the positive answers above, advertising campaign alone cannot bring WV increase in sales. The author should provide more certain evidences about the specific features of the game, as well as the conditions of the buyers and the whole game market.  

[
这篇写得比我强不少，里面的一些观点我没有想到。论述的逻辑性挺好的，层次分明
]

win-szUID：2113066

The argument concludes that in the next few months the sales of WV video games are likely to increase dramatically because of their advertising campaign receivers, who are assumed to be  most likely(用词最好变化一下) to play video games. Though reasonable at the first glance, however, after carefully analyzing the conclusion is rather questionable.

First of all, the author asserts that people between 10 to 25 are those most interested in playing video games, while giving no useful evidence at all. The survey on which this argument relies is completely open to doubt, as it provides no information about the people who took this survey at all. Their ages, their incomes are all under the table, thus the authority of this survey is rather doubtful. It is entirely possible that these people are out of 10 to 25, as a result, their preference cannot be applied to the advertising receivers. Because of this deadly difference between survey and advertising, the assertion which the author makes is completely a fantasy. Unless we are provided (少了with)information about the ages and other important conditions of the survey and advertising receivers, we should not make any hasty conclusion.(可以再举出被访者的代表性，样本是否足够多等等)

Furthermore, even if people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games, it did not follow that they will buy the products. First, besides the most important feature, there are also other crucial factors that determine whether a game is popular or not, such as the theme, the type of the game. Without interesting and striking themes, the games will not have any value (绝对了？不一定好些，可以说主题可能是一个非常重要得因素在吸引玩家购买时) though providing lifelike graphics. Second, since the lifelike graphics need the most up-to-date computers, 10 to 25 years old players could not possibly(绝对了？不一定好些) afford that since most of them are students(谁说玩家就是学生了？这个不太说服力，即使如此，现在中国很多学生不是有电脑吗？可以改成lifelike graphics 需要特殊的graphic设备，玩家可能买不起). Perhaps they will prefer to borrow the games from friends rather than buying by themselves(这个缺少说服力，朋友不也是买的吗？). Last but not the least, even if these people are willing and having the ability to buy, it does mean that they will of course choose the products of WV. The author fails to provide any information about other companies whose products have the same features with WV. Perhaps the buyers have many alternatives, thus no one can insure they will doubtlessly choose WV. In short, we cannot take it for granted that people will surely buy the products provided by WV without any persuasive evidence.

Moreover, the author should provide us some (应该是less)information about the whole market of the video games. It is probably(是probable) that this market is not so good as a whole. Or perhaps there is a economic recession at recent time. Accordingly, people do not have the ability to afford such kind of video games since their fundamental life cannot be insured at all. These games are completely luxury items for them. In addition, the reason why the sales of WV video games have declined over the past two years should be provided also. It is quite possible that the quality of their games is very poor. Due to all talked above, although the new video games introduced by WV are rather striking, they will not succeed in the market either.

In a sum, given the positive answers above, advertising campaign alone cannot bring WV increase in sales. The author should provide more certain evidences about the specific features of the game, as well as the conditions of the buyers and the whole game market.

[ Last edited by win-sz on 2005-11-22 at 12:29 ]

果小冻UID：208370

大家一起努力啦
首先,我的用词还是有很大的问题,我会在近期集中努力一下,争取有明显的进步.
然后,有些可能性,我好象是说的过了

3英里UID：2144576

努力

果小冻UID：208370

Originally posted by 3英里 at 2005-11-24 12:36
努力

谢谢鼓励啊,呵呵,一起努力,我也在南京,无锡人在南京

果小冻UID：208370

思路如下：
1，调查的问题，真实性，代表性。和广告的不统一对象问题
2，虽然生动是玩家觉得最重要的特点，但不一定会去购买。首先，其他因素，如主题，制作技术，类型等也是考虑的因素。其次，既然对电脑的要求比较高，那不一定可以买得起。
3，销售不一定会上升。首先，前两年的负面影响。其次，整体的经济情况。另外，其他厂家的竞争。

[ 本帖最后由 果小冻 于 2006-2-9 17:02 编辑 ]