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[i习作temp] issue11 请大家指教<_ _>~~~~互拍~~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-8 13:37:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC:ISSUE 11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."


     The world is becoming an increasingly eventful and problematic place with the development of technology and human civilization.  New social problems are occurring endlessly, yet old ones seem no less persistent. Confronting such situation, some propose that a global university be built to tackle these problems with united power, and I found such idea rational on condition that it should be carried out systematically and roundly.
     In the threshold place, one of the tremendous advantages of forming a global university in my view is that it brings all the pressing problems together , which possibly gain more attention and concern, thus contribute to the solving of these problems. When various nations made their effort to build this global university they also brought along their problems with the hope of receiving a satisfying reply. Consequently different problems scattered around the world meet altogether and after the analysis and arrangements of the university, people will know what are the most common and persistent problems, what should be addressed first or which priority to choose. I believe a clear and legitimate goal is indispensable for any further action coming about.
     In the second place, besides making out a goal, the power of a global university  is matchless in the sense that it united all efforts and resources of different nations and people. There is a old saying that says " the power of united is invincible" , the philosophical meaning of which can also be testified by the example of the united nations. While the capability of  an individual or a single nation is very limited, the force of all united is peerlessly powerful. Additionally, some problems such as the pollution of environment can only be handled by the cooperation and effort of all nations.
     Further more, a favorable effect of building a global university is that harmony and peace of the globe is progressed through the process of cooperation and interaction.
Living in the same campus, heading for uniform goals, students from different countries with diverse background learn to understand and respect each other. In addition, the university provided the best place for students of various cultures to improve one another by the means of benefiting from the knowledge of another culture or tradition.
     In sum, although it is quite a task to build a global university consisting members of all nations, which also needs careful scheming,  such idea is virtually wise and worth a try concerning the solving of persistent social problems and the improving of harmony on earth.

[ 本帖最后由 virginia730 于 2006-2-8 13:39 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2006-2-8 13:38:41 |只看该作者
抹泪.......
怎么作文是越写越郁闷了~~

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板凳
发表于 2006-2-8 15:27:53 |只看该作者
顶个~~ 晚上来..

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地板
发表于 2006-2-8 23:57:00 |只看该作者
好,我来改你的^_^表急喔
How to Eat Fried Worms?

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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2006-2-9 00:59:51 |只看该作者
TOPIC:ISSUE 11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."


The world is becoming an increasingly eventful and problematic place with the development of technology and human civilization.  New social problems are occurring endlessly, yet old ones seem no less persistent. Confronting such situation, some propose that a global university be built to tackle these problems with united power, and I found such idea rational on condition that it should be carried out systematically and roundly.开头不错,不过我觉得在开头不应该用太多笔墨描述背景

In the threshold place, one of the tremendous advantages of forming a global university in my view去掉 is that it brings all the pressing problems together , which possibly gain more attention and concern, thus contribute to the solving of these problems. When various nations made their efforts to build this global university they also brought along their problems with the hope of receiving a satisfying reply. Consequently different problems scattered around the world meet altogether and after the analysis and arrangements of the university, people will know what are the most common and persistent problems,应该问题是已知的,而解决问题的方法是未知的,而世界性大学正是提供了这样一个平台,这是我的观点,你认为呢? what should be addressed first or which priority to choose. I believe a clear and legitimate goal is indispensable for any further action coming about.显然,你认为正是因为不同国家带来了不同的问题,而世界性大学的作用是能够把问题集中起来,然后分出哪个重要那个不重要对吗?这个论证可以但过于肤浅

In the second place, besides making out a goal, the power of a global university  is matchless in the sense that it united all efforts and resources of different nations and people. There is a old saying that says " the power of united is invincible" , the philosophical meaning of which can also be testified by the example of the united nations. While the capability of  an individual or a single nation is very limited, the force of all united is peerlessly powerful. Additionally, some problems such as the pollution of environment can only be handled by the cooperation and effort of all nations这才是你真正要论述的地方,为什么世界性大学能帮助解决一些仅凭单个国家无法解决的问题,因为它能将每个国家的力量结合起来,而且我觉得很有必要提一下什么样的persistant social problems优待解决,比如Green House Effect, the destruction of ozone layer, the indigenous conflicts the exploration of outsider space......

Further more, a favorable effect of building a global university is that harmony and peace of the globe is progressed through the process of cooperation and interaction.Living in the same campus, heading for uniform goals, students from different countries with diverse background learn to understand and respect each other. In addition, the university provided the best place for students of various cultures to improve one another by the means of benefiting from the knowledge of another culture or tradition.对,促进了文化的交流和国家间的相互理解和尊重,

In sum, although it is quite a task to build a global university consisting members of all nations, which also needs careful scheming,  such idea is virtually wise and worth a try concerning the solving of persistent social problems and the improving of harmony on earth.

这篇文章,我还是希望你能把提纲列出来,感觉第一段的论证缺乏力度而且有些浅,你完全可以把二三段结合在一起的,还有,文章缺乏具体的例子,好像你没有提到一个世界性的problem,众观全文,三四段写的很好
对了,你的这篇作文好像不是同主题活动的那篇哟,你的那篇呢?
How to Eat Fried Worms?

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发表于 2006-2-9 10:33:42 |只看该作者

先来占座

等我写完今天的issue,贴上以后就过来看^_^

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发表于 2006-2-9 14:21:01 |只看该作者
>V< 倩~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~不二好帅那~!!!!( 他是叫这个名字把?)

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RE: issue11 请大家指教<_ _>~~~~互拍~~ [修改]
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issue11 请大家指教<_ _>~~~~互拍~~
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