argument143 [0710G ＋U Aug小组]第3次作业ldsun

ldsunUID: 2329026

In this letter the author alleges that an article on the corporate downsizing in the United States which appeared in the national newspaper is misleading. The author assumes that the article gives a mistaken impression, which I think is unfair. To support that assumption or prove that impression is mistaken, the author cites a report which also flaws in several aspects. I will discuss them it turn.

To begin with, the author's opinion on the article is based on a point of view that the article gives a mistaken impression. Setting the rationality of the impression aside first, I would question that if it is a general feedback of the article, or it is just the author's conclusion. It is possible that the author makes a mistake on this article, and the impression does not exist actually. However, this argument provides no such evidence to rule out that possibility, which leaves it unconvinced.

Even if the impression exists in general, that is, lots of people can get it from reading the article, the argument is still open to question. The author cites a report as an evidence which I think has flaws in the following aspects.

Maybe the impression is mistaken, but the report can not be an evidence to prove it. The report tries to state that more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, and those who lost jobs have found new employment, but it do not refer to any information about the time those people experienced between losing jobs and getting new jobs. The impression in the author’s opinion points that those workers face serious economic hardship during that time. The report has nothing to do with it. It is possible that those workers actually face that problem, only they find new jobs later; that is, the impression is not mistaken.

What's more, the report cited by the author lacks of detailed information to show its reliability. It said that since 1992 far more jobs have been created than been eliminated. Maybe the created jobs have little to do those eliminated. We all know that every year lots of people graduate from school and start to seek a job and these people take up those created jobs other than who lost jobs before. It said many of those who lost jobs have found new employment; I would ask how many of them, maybe it is just a small part. However, without more information, this report is untenable as it stands.

In all, this argument is unpersuasive. Its conclusion is based on a questionable premise, and the evidence the author used which also has flaws is to prove that problematic premise. It would be a better argument if the author settles those problems I have raised above.

icefirekkUID: 2293126

In this letter theauthor alleges that an article on the corporate downsizing in theUnited States which appeared in the national newspaper is misleading.The author assumes that the article gives a mistaken impression, whichI think is unfair. To support that assumption or prove that impressionis mistaken, the author cites a report which also flaws in severalaspects. I will discuss them it turn.(开头的风格很不错啊）

To begin with, the author'sopinion on the article is based on a point of view that the articlegives a mistaken impression. Setting the rationality of the impressionaside first, I would question that if it is a general feedback of thearticle, or it is just the author's conclusion. It is possible that theauthor makes a mistake on this article, and the impression does notexist actually.(或者是newspaper做假报道？如果editor说的downsizing是真的，那么impression应该存在） However, this argument provides no such evidence torule out that possibility, which leaves it unconvinced.

Even if the impressionexists in general, that is, lots of people can get it from reading thearticle, the argument is still open to question. The author cites areport as an evidence which I think has flaws in the following aspects.(这段前一句应该归到上段，毕竟属于攻击同一点的，下句似乎与第一段末尾句重复，可删）

Maybe the impression ismistaken, but the report can not be an evidence to prove it. The reporttries to state that more jobs have been created than have beeneliminated, and those who lost jobs have found new employment, but itdo not refer to any information （我个人觉得应该用provide information更妥；如果是refer to的话，就直接refer to the time that.....好了）about the time(用interval或period怎样，time不是一个时间段，只是一个点） those people experiencedbetween losing jobs and getting new jobs. The impression in theauthor’s opinion points that those workers face serious economichardship during that time. The report has nothing to do with it. It ispossible that those workers actually face that problem, only they findnew jobs later; that is, the impression is not mistaken.（似乎有点迂，改成it is possible that those workers actully face that problem only after the find new jobs, 我说晕了，自己都没头绪了)

What's more, the reportcited by the author lacks of (of 去掉）detailed information to show itsreliability. It said that since 1992 far more jobs have been createdthan been eliminated. Maybe the created jobs have little to do thoseeliminated. We all know that every year lots of people graduate fromschool and start to seek a job(find jobs，单复数前后要一致） and these people take up those createdjobs other than who lost jobs before. It said many of those who lostjobs have found new employment; I would ask how many of them, maybe itis just a small part. However, without more information, this report isuntenable as it stands.

In all, this argument isunpersuasive. Its conclusion is based on a questionable premise, andthe evidence the author used which also has flaws is to prove thatproblematic premise.（the evidence the author used to prove the problematic premise also has flaws.)  It would be a better argument if the authorsettles those problems I have raised above.
(总体是不错的，论证思路清晰，但句式变化有点多，出现了语法错误，也许我没弄清你的表达方式，见谅。模板用的很熟练啊——该不是自创的吧，我得向你学，共同进步）

ldsunUID: 2329026

呵呵，谢谢修改啦，共同进步！

0710UID: 2346603

你好,我想问问,怎么能加入组织,一起互改作文呢? 你们有联系方式 或组长吗?