issue152 有拍必回，留下连接（ＳＡＬＬＹ）

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

Issue152  The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies.
提纲
1，        钱是保证企业自身蓬勃发展的基础，企业的精神和物质建设都需要钱当推动力。
2，        但自身的蓬勃发展并不保证能得到社会的认同，领导还应重视社会责任感。从而把这种蓬勃扩大。
3，        当企业的金钱利益和社会责任发生冲突的时候。后者应该占上风以保证更多人的利益。
In an era of intense economic competition, money is by all means the ultimate target of executives of companies as well as a demonstration of corporation’s prosperity. In this sense,the majority of enterprises’ leaders are exerting their utmost to win the maximal profits for their business empire. Nevertheless, aside from money, there lies other factors which bear the immediate interest to the prosperity of a company, such as societal relationship, reputation of company itself, team spirit of its employees,social responsibility and so forth. Consequently,it’s highly recommendable that company executives bracket all the alternatives along with his responsibility.

First and foremost,this is nowhere more true than on the issue that money, more often than not, guarantees the material and ethics development of a company. Consider, a great deal of advanced workshops could be constructed if enough funds are available.What’s more, top-class processing facilities may at the will of a factory as long as it ownes a large amount of  money. All of these hypothesises bespeak the developmental potential of the enterprise which definitely are also a symbols  of  enterprises’ ever-lasting superiority. In terms of ethics development of an interprise, money could be relied on as a bonus to its staff so as to trigger their working passion. And employees’working passion in turn will beget working efficiency of the company which inevitably accelerate the development of the company. Having known these, it’s conspicuous that money is the catalyzer and propeller of  prosperity of a company itself towards better and eventually best.

Yet, a company’s prosperity of itself is not the equivalence of its prosperity in the society because other ingredients such as public’s recognition,former reputation of the corporation and so on are bound to obstrude into the overall prosperisty of a firm. Let’s make a hypothesis here, could a notorious-famed firm win the market even if it produces high-quality prodects? Is it feasible for a factory to rank top in its field if it is having a preponderance of experts in this field but lacking credible selling record? Of course, the answer to all these questions is an absolute “no” due to these enterprises bad public images. Under such a circumstance, social responsibilities of corporations inextricably carry much weight in the determination of an enterprise’s success.

With the presence of a company’s aim of money-making and its social responsibility, there comes the question:which of them is more important and which one should take precedence over the other one if the two are in conflict? From my perspective, money-making should concede to social responsibility in that social responsibility is the precondition of a company’s continuing development. Society is the big atomosphere which, to some extent, promiese the success of every industray if it is harmonious, without this concordant asmosphere, it’s fairly impossible for any enterprise to step forward, let alone win any profit. An illuminating example involves the bankrupcy of Hify Auto Int, a giant in automobile industry in the early 18th century in France,at the start of its establishment, it took on a promising trend which allured a multitude of experts in car manufacture and therefore they won a great deal of profits in the first few years. With the advent of high unemployment which resulted in the low consumption in almost all aspects, car selling declined precipitously. Ironically though, Hify focused its attention in the temporal benefits and thus remained its comparatively hight car price and rejected to contribute money to help the societal economic downturn. Finally ,it failed and fell into bankrupcy at length. Upon a careful analysis, it’s clear that we should attribute Hify’s fiasco to its lack of social responsibility, and this precedent should teach a serious lesson to all Corporate executives.

To sum up, money is the indispensable impetus of enterprise development, in the meanwhile, however, when it’s in conflict with social responsibility, the latter should be superior to the former in that it guarantees every single enterprise’s development.
这段时间写作文没感觉啊，很浮躁，大家尽情扔砖头吧．谢谢

Cappuccino☆UID: 2155660

In an era of intense economic competition, money is by all means the ultimate target of executives of companies as well as a demonstration of corporation’s prosperity. In this sense,the majority of enterprises’ leaders are exerting their utmost to win the maximal profits for their business empire. Nevertheless, aside from money, there lies other factors which bear the immediate interest to the prosperity of a company, such as societal relationship, reputation of company itself, team spirit of its employees,social responsibility and so forth. Consequently,it’s highly recommendable that company executives bracket all the alternatives along with his responsibility.

First and foremost,this is nowhere more true(true这种词语好像不能用比较级来修饰吧) than on the issue that money, more often than not, guarantees the material and ethics development of a company.(觉得前面说了一大堆"模版式"的短语反而影响了句子的通顺,我觉得直接按照提纲上的说"Money is the fundamental element to guarantee the development of enterprises as well as promote both ethics and material contribution " ) Consider, a great deal of advanced workshops could be constructed if enough funds are available.(主题句后面立即用consider...,感觉衔接有点僵硬,可以考虑换成:without fundings provided,....) What’s more, top-class processing facilities may at the will of(这个表达是什么意思?是不是阿布见识短浅不认识~~) a factory as long as it ownes a large amount of  money(这个表达有点口语话). All of these hypothesises bespeak the developmental potential of the enterprise(这里如果去掉"of the enterprises"要好点,使which指代"protential"意思明确) which definitely are also a symbols  of  enterprises’ ever-lasting superiority. In terms of ethics development of an interprise, money could be relied on as a bonus to its staff so as to trigger their working passion.(这个观点提的好) And employees’working passion in turn will beget working efficiency of the company which inevitably accelerate the development of the company. Having known these, it’s conspicuous that money is the catalyzer and propeller of  prosperity of a company itself towards better and eventually best.

Yet, a company’s prosperity of itself is not the equivalence of its prosperity in the society because other ingredients such as public’s recognition,former reputation of the corporation and so on are bound to obstrude into the overall prosperisty of a firm. Let’s make a hypothesis here, could a notorious-famed firm win the market even if it produces high-quality prodects? Is it feasible for a factory to rank top in its field if it is having a preponderance of experts in this field but lacking credible selling record? Of course, the answer to all these questions is an absolute “no” due to these enterprises bad public images. Under such a circumstance, social responsibilities of corporations inextricably carry much weight in the determination of an enterprise’s success.(这段的论证太简单了,就只是提出了几个问后,给出了一个简单的"no",而并没有深入分析.)

With the presence of a company’s aim of money-making and its social responsibility, there comes the question:which of them is more important and which one should take precedence over the other one if the two are in conflict(这两个which说的是一个内容,有点重复了)? From my perspective, money-making should concede to social responsibility in that social responsibility is the precondition of a company’s continuing development. Society is the big atomosphere which, to some extent, promiese the success of every industray if it is harmonious, without this concordant asmosphere, it’s fairly impossible for any enterprise to step forward, let alone win any profit. An illuminating example involves the bankrupcy of Hify Auto Int, a giant in automobile industry in the early 18th century in France,at the start of its establishment, it took on a promising trend which allured a multitude of experts in car manufacture and therefore they won a great deal of profits in the first few years. With the advent of high unemployment which resulted in the low consumption in almost all aspects, car selling declined precipitously. Ironically though, Hify focused its attention in the temporal benefits and thus remained its comparatively hight car price and rejected to contribute money to help the societal economic downturn. Finally ,it failed and fell into bankrupcy at length.(例子太长了吧,是不是应该压缩一下) Upon a careful analysis, it’s clear that we should attribute Hify’s fiasco to its lack of social responsibility, and this precedent should teach a serious lesson to all Corporate executives.

To sum up, money is the indispensable impetus of enterprise development, in the meanwhile, however, when it’s in conflict with social responsibility, the latter should be superior to the former in that it guarantees every single enterprise’s development.

文章的结构不错,但在论证的过程中显得"废话"有点多~~呵呵,可以将语言再精炼一点
Sally姐姐好棒啊~~继续加油哦！！:)

[ 本帖最后由 Cappuccino☆ 于 2006-1-11 01:09 编辑 ]