issue130 再过两天就要考了，大家帮忙看看：）

吻雨UID: 2234038

"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Nowadays, many people argue that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society and are feeling pity for the ineffective way to raise children who can help bring about a better society. In my point of view, however, the destiny of society is affected rather than determined by the approach socializing children. And recent better society tells us the way to raise children is effective on the whole.

It is true that how children are socialized has an irreplaceable effect on the destiny of society. Socializing, which mainly contains the cooperative spirit as well as reasonable method dealing with complex relation, is crucial to society whenever it is. Without the character of socialization hardly can children become effective political leaders, who have to balance the benefits of different groups and different people in the complex society. Without sociable virtue, rarely can children be a successful manager, who need not simply encourage their subordinates but make a tight relation with important customers as well. Without sociability, seldom can children finish some huge projects involving thousands of engineers.

However, it is far too hasty to assume that destiny of society can be determined by the way to socialize children. Instead, many other critical characters except sociability affect the growing up of individuals thus eventually determine the destiny of society . With the courage to make a better society, Roosevelt in the Second World War could revive the USA by getting rid of the traditional views on completely free economy and signing the new policy involving government control on the market. With the strong belief on justice of equal rights, Martin Luther King could make the famous speech "I have a dream" to call for the same treatment on Blacks compared with the other people. With determination on the independence of India, Gandhi could bear the difficulty with extreme poor life.  Determining the fate of society, their achievement are not due to the training of socialability in the  childhood but contributes to the training of other traits mentioned above from that time . Consequently, for the sake of better society, we should not raise children only by socializing the children but overlooks other important characters such as courage and determination.

As far as raising children is concerned, considering the great achievement on education, I doubt the view denying the effectiveness of approaches raising children who can create a better society. With the advanced technology, more and more schools could provide different methods to meet the diverse need of children. Some children living in the remoted area can absorb knowledge from distant-education based on internet wheras other children can thoroughly grasp the abstract theory from thousands of reference books from well-equipped library here and there. Furthermore, parents increaseingly know the importance of sociability training with regard to children. Not only are they encouraged to cooperate with peers to finish some tasks but are also inspired to devote themselves doing some voluntary jobs for the community. In short, in view of the apparent development on raising children, hardly can we consider the means of raising children is unsuccessful.

In conclusion, the destiny of society is not simply dependent on how children are socialized today but relies on the training other critical characters such as nurturing of courage and determination in the childhood. And our way to raise children is proved to be effective by the noticable improvement compared to the past.

最后帮忙打一下分，谢谢^_^

[ 本帖最后由 吻雨 于 2006-8-5 16:58 编辑 ]

ljknirvanaUID: 2231819

如果是限时写的，能写成这样已经很好啦，我觉得
我打4分或以上，如果可以，我给4.5分：）
不过好像还没到5分的样子
继续加油！也祝你好运！

wp123UID: 2187508

Nowadays, many people argue that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society and are feeling pity for the ineffective way to raise children who can help bring about a better society. In my point of view, however, the destiny of society is affected rather than determined by the approach socializing children. And recent better society tells us the way to raise children is effective on the whole.

It is true that how children are socialized has an irreplaceable effect on the destiny of society. Socializing, which mainly contains the cooperative spirit as well as reasonable method dealing with complex relation, is crucial to society whenever it is. Without the character of socialization hardly can children become effective political leaders, who have to balance the benefits of different groups and different people in the complex society. Without sociable virtue, rarely can children be a successful manager, who need not simply encourage their subordinates but make a tight relation with important customers as well. Without sociability, seldom can children finish some huge projects involving thousands of engineers.这几个排比很牛。

However, it is far too hasty to assume that destiny of society can be determined by the way to socialize children. Instead, many other critical characters except sociability affect the destiny of society a lot. With the courage to make a better society, Roosevelt in the Second World War could revive the USA by getting rid of the traditional views on completely free economy and signing the new policy involving government control on the market. With the strong belief on justice of equal rights, Martin Luther King could make the famous speech "I have a dream" to call for the same treatment on Blacks compared with the other people. With determination on the independence of India, Gandhi could bear the difficulty with extreme poor life. In sum, depending on these important characters other than social ability, these famous people could just create a better society for the benefits of populace. Consequently, for the sake of better society, we should not overlooks other important characters when focusing on the virtue of social ability 社交能力？感觉这段有点堆砌例子。因为孩子的社会化似乎跟大人的成就没啥冲突，对立面我觉得应该是孩子的学习，也就是非社会化因素吧。这些人的成功也许就是因为他们小的时候社会化很高吧。。。

As far as raising children is concerned, considering the great achievement in the modern society, I doubt the view denying the effectiveness of approaches raising children who can create a better society. Rapid developing technology brings millions of inventions, which make our life comfortcomfortable. Increased pleasing institute on democracy benefits all the people in the society no matter what their religion is and which color of their skin. In addition, more and more new forms of art bring different style of entertainment bring us a colorful life. 这句话俩BRING，没看明白。。Considering the marvelous improvement in our society, how could we claim that we cannot raise children who may create a better society in a productive means?好象分析的是社会的进步，但是真正怎么带孩子，，，好象没说进去啊。。。

In conclusion, the destiny of society is not simply dependent on how children are socialized today but relies on other critical characters such as nurturing of courage and determination. And our way to raise children is proved to be correct by the better society compared to the past.

语言挺好了。但是我觉得分析的有些思路不统一。如果中间那段不算跑题的话，应该能得4吧。哎。 楼主帮我也看看吧。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

wp123UID: 2187508

这题目不简单,看看这个楼主

http://www.gter.net/news/html/200503/1111179109.html

吻雨UID: 2234038

^_^非常感谢ljknirvana  wp123 的意见，我自己认真改了一遍，希望大家再看看，谢谢啦:)

吻雨UID: 2234038

up.希望大家能多提点意见 :D

[ 本帖最后由 吻雨 于 2006-8-5 22:40 编辑 ]