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[i习作temp] issue208 (groupA的都是pioneers, ride!) [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-5-16 09:46:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
issue208
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
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People's attitudes and interests guide them to look, choose clothes, talk, and think, behaving routinely in society, which may be easy to tell directly. Although human society is formed by various kinds of people with diverse appearances and behaviors of its people, no one can conclude its ideas and values merely by judging these external factors while ignoring decisive internal elements, such as culture, custom, history, etc.

By observing the appearance and behavior of one person, we can make a generalization about his or her attitudes and interests. Some amazing abilities of human nature, which have been proven by scientists, are those of particular abilities to judge one's attitudes and interests precisely by simply a glance. Those images of other's appearances and behaviors firstly impressing in people's mind give them signals and considerations which will be immediately forced to compare with other images restored before in their brains. These factors, such as color of clothes, eyes in the face, and subtle motion will definitely affect other people's judgment by directly observing. To a great extent, people's most attitudes toward others are determined by the so-called--a glance judgmental ability to make generalizations about various stranger faces we meet everyday. For instance, one experiment made recently could reflect people's ability to judge others by observing the appearance and behaviors. One group people formed by people with different works were told to tell suspects they thought in another group. Consequently, they made amazing common agreements about suspects with similar explains by observing identical appearance and behavior of others. It shows how significant human nature participate individual's judgment about others by directly observation.

However, the idea may be problematic when it is applied to research of society, which is valid for individuals. A society's ideas and values are more complex than individual's attitude and interest. The appearance and behavior of its people only reveal series of aspects of society situation in one period or even series of trends during a short time. They only reflect characteristic of times but not reveal a society's ideas and values, which have been formed by long-term accumulation of culture and assimilation of alien elements into its own. These internal factors that guide its people's daily behaviors and minds are far more than being decided by them. Thus, it's inaccurate and cursory to tell much about a society's ideas and values simply by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. As we know, America is one of a great amount of immigrant countries, and there are various ethnics and races from all over the world. Their appearance and behavior may be quite different, but these external differences cannot stop their pursuits of common attitudes and values about freedom, self-reliance, respecting wealth, and so on. Actually, most societies today are formed by sorts of cultures and values, what called pluralism. Therefore, no one can simply make a generalization about a society by recognizing its people's daily lives.

In sum, the way people look, dress, and act are direct images or expressions of their attitudes and interests. Differently, one society is a complex assembly with various people's attitudes and interests and is greatly restricted by its background and culture, which cannot be easily to make a conclusion by directly observing the appearance and behavior of its people.
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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

沙发
发表于 2005-5-16 12:49:39 |只看该作者
找一下自己的队友,联系一下,发动互改
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三十而立 战战兢兢
如临深渊 如履薄冰

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板凳
发表于 2005-5-16 20:31:25 |只看该作者
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Capricorn摩羯座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2005-6-23 01:13:32 |只看该作者

呵呵,songwei同学1个月前的作文

"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

People's attitudes and interests guide them to look, choose clothes, talk, and think, behaving routinely in society, which may be easy to tell directly. [感觉最好能加点内容,使得过渡更为连贯一点。] Although human society is formed by various kinds of people with diverse appearances and behaviors of its people [和前面的people感觉有点重复了,可以去掉。], no one can conclude its ideas and values merely by judging these external factors while ignoring decisive internal elements, such as culture, custom, history, etc. [总的来说,开头比较简洁,提出观点很明确。]

By observing the appearance and behavior of one person, we can make a generalization about his or her attitudes and interests. [TS很明确。] Some amazing abilities of human nature, which have been proven by scientists, are those of particular abilities to judge one's attitudes and interests precisely by simply a glance. [呵呵,intuition。] Those images of other's appearances and behaviors firstly impressing in people's mind give them signals and considerations which will be immediately forced to compare with other images restored [stored] before in their brains. These factors, such as color of clothes, eyes in the face, and subtle motion will definitely affect other people's judgment by directly observing. To a great extent, people's most attitudes [most of people’s attitudes] toward others are determined by the so-called a glance judgmental ability to make generalizations about various strangers’ faces we meet everyday. [前面交代的背景有点冗长,可以考虑简化一下。] For instance, one experiment made recently [感觉用这样的experiment要小心;如果例子不是虚构的话,最好把这个实验的一些背景情况简要地交代一下,不然阅卷人可以把这部分文章当argument来批判。] could reflect people's ability to judge others by observing the appearance and behaviors. One group people formed by people [those] with different works were told to tell suspects they thought in another group. Consequently, they made amazing common agreements about suspects with similar explains by observing identical appearance and behavior of others. It shows how significant human nature participate individual's judgment about others by directly observation. [这段的中心论点很明确:能够通过人们的外表和言行来判断一个人对待事物的态度和兴趣。但是仅仅停留在表面上,这个可能性存在。注意题干中有一个词“reveal”,因此可以考虑如何把人的外表和内在心理结合起来,是怎么样通过外表来表现的,可以举一些具体的例子,而不是泛泛而谈。]

However, the idea may be problematic when it is applied to research of society, which is valid for individual. A society's ideas and values are more complex than  individual's attitude and interest [有点重复的感觉,直接改了一下:that of the individuals making up the society。]. The appearance and behavior of its people only reveal series of aspects of society situation in one period or even series of trends during a short time. They only reflect characteristic of times but not reveal a society's ideas and values, which have been formed by long-term accumulation of culture and assimilation of alien elements into its own. These internal factors that guide its people's daily behaviors and minds are far more than being decided by them. Thus, it's inaccurate and cursory to tell much about a society's ideas and values simply by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. As we know, America is one of a great amount of immigrant countries, and there are various ethnics and races from all over the world. Their appearance and behavior may be quite different, but these external differences cannot stop their pursuits of common attitudes and values about freedom, self-reliance, respecting wealth, and so on. [这段关于“异”和“同”的叙述很精彩。] Actually, most societies today are formed by sorts of cultures and values, what called pluralism. Therefore, no one can simply make a generalization about a society by recognizing its people's daily lives. [提到了时代潮流以及文化传统的关系,这点很好。不过觉得放在一个段落里不太能够说清楚,可以考虑再细分段落以便把问题阐述地更明晰。]

In sum, the way people look, dress, and act are direct images or expressions of their attitudes and interests. Differently, one society is a complex assembly with various people's attitudes and interests and is greatly restricted by its background and culture, which cannot be [be多余。] easily to make a conclusion by directly observing the appearance and behavior of its people. [结尾中规中矩。]
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Love, is always a star in the foggy dawn......

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发表于 2005-6-23 09:56:54 |只看该作者
斑竹同志真是热心人啊,1个多月前的贴子都翻出来改了。
B1的那个例证偶是在BBC拍的Human instinct上看到的,下次记得标明出处。感谢提醒这个词“reveal”.

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Capricorn摩羯座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2005-6-23 11:42:02 |只看该作者
Originally posted by songwei1765 at 2005-6-23 09:56
斑竹同志真是热心人啊,1个多月前的贴子都翻出来改了。
B1的那个例证偶是在BBC拍的Human instinct上看到的,下次记得标明出处。感谢提醒这个词“reveal”.


呵呵,我现在给自己定的改作文任务就是从后往前,把没有得到批改或回复的帖子都扫了。;P
Love, is always a star in the foggy dawn......

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RE: issue208 (groupA的都是pioneers, ride!) [修改]

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issue208 (groupA的都是pioneers, ride!)
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