Argument145 北京最高频，给连接互排

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

145
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

In this argument, the speaker suggests that anyone who snores should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more. To better bolster this assertion, the arguer points out that people who snores are more likely to gain weight than those who do not snores as well as that the interruption of breathing wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day. This assertion is well presented but not reasonably proved in that it is flawed in several respects beneath.

First of all, the arguer cites a survey in showing that people who snores are more likely to gain weight, however, the arguer provides no assurance to demonstrate that the survey result is statistically reliable. It is fairly possible that the survey was based on a small population and even the respondents are scarce. Without providing any evidence concerning the survey and statistical figure the arguer cannot build any conclusion between the snoring and weight gaining.

Even assuming that the survey is reliable, we still cannot construct a causal relationship between the snoring and weight gaining. The arguer hastily comes to this overgeneralization without considering other possible reasons. It is possible that some other factors as eating too much fat, taking limited exercises, or even genetic factor all that can lead to a physical obesity. A correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to prove such a relationship. Without establishing a reliable can convincing relationship between the snoring and weight gaining, the conclusion is unwarranted as it stands.

Furthermore, the interruption of breathing (sleep apnea) can leave the person tired during the day is another unwarranted conclusion. The arguer ignores some fundamental factors that can result in tiredness such as working and studying pressure. Even if the sleep apnea can lead to the tiredness, the arguer still cannot suggest that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less and take more exercises. Common sense tell me that a limited amount of diet does not mean that it can prevent of getting weight, a person can easily gain weight even though he or she eats less than others for the reason that he or she has a healthy digestive system. Yet, without any evidence to bolster his assertion, the speaker’s advice is not persuasive as it presents.

Finally, the arguer fails to take other possible reason in to consider in determining the shoring and sleep apnea. A light mood and a healthy diet can lead to a fine physical condition during sleep. In order to eliminate the tiredness people have to take exercises appropriately and continually at a fixed time every day.

In conclusion, the advices of the arguer is well presented but ill supported. To better bolster his assertion, the arguer has to provide some evidence concerning the relationship between the snoring and the weight gaining. To evaluate his suggestion, I need more reasonable information about rational factor of the sleep apnea and the physical tiredness.

rosaryUID: 2109502

145
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

In this argument, the speaker suggests that anyone who snores should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more. To better bolster this assertion, the arguer points out that people who snores are more likely to gain weight than those who do not snores as well as that the interruption of breathing wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day. This assertion is well presented but not reasonably proved in that it is flawed in several respects beneath.

First of all, the arguer cites a survey in showing that people who snores are more likely to gain weight, however, the arguer provides no assurance to demonstrate that the survey result is statistically reliable. It is fairly possible that the survey was based on a small population and even the respondents are scarce. Without providing any evidence concerning the survey and statistical figure the arguer cannot build any conclusion between the snoring and weight gaining.

Even assuming that the survey is reliable, we still cannot construct a causal relationship between the snoring and weight gaining. The arguer hastily comes to this overgeneralization without considering other possible reasons. It is possible that some other factors as eating too much fat, taking limited exercises, or even genetic factor all that can lead to a physical obesity. A correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to prove such a relationship. Without establishing a reliable （这里应该有个名词吧，survey, evidence之类）can convincing relationship between the snoring and weight gaining, the conclusion is unwarranted as it stands.

Furthermore, the interruption of breathing (sleep apnea) can leave the person tired during the day is another unwarranted conclusion. The arguer ignores some fundamental factors that can result in tiredness such as working and studying pressure. Even if the sleep apnea can lead to the tiredness, the arguer still cannot suggest that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less and take more exercises. Common sense tell me that a limited amount of diet does not mean that it can prevent of（from） getting weight, a person can easily gain weight even though he or she eats less than others for the reason that he or she has a healthy digestive system. Yet, without any evidence to bolster his assertion, the speaker’s advice is not persuasive as it presents.

Finally, the arguer fails to take other possible reason in to consider(take in 和consider 重复了,或者是take….into consideration….) in determining the shoring and sleep apnea. A light mood and a healthy diet can lead to a fine physical condition during sleep. In order to eliminate the tiredness people have to take exercises appropriately and continually at a fixed time every day. （这一句和前面关系不大啊，要不加个不一定more exercise?）(这一段好像比较仓促，是在计时吗？)

In conclusion, the advices of the arguer is well presented but ill supported. To better bolster his assertion, the arguer has to provide some（enough） evidence concerning the relationship between the snoring and the weight gaining. To evaluate his suggestion, I need more reasonable information about rational factor of the sleep apnea and the physical tiredness.

每段的分析都丝丝入扣，不过段与段之间的连接如果再紧密些——例如用层层递推式——就更好了,还有b3段应该再展开一下

个人意见仅供参考

murk7UID: 2114164

请教一个问题：有什么方法可以提高开头段的速度啊？我现在每次开头段至少都要写8分钟。。。身下的根本没有时间了

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

背

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

In this argument, the speaker suggests that anyone who snores should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more. To better bolster this assertion, the arguer points out that people who snores are more likely to gain weight than those who do not snores as well as that the interruption of breathing wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day. This assertion is well presented but not reasonably proved in that it is flawed in several respects beneath.

First of all, the arguer cites a survey in showing that people who snores are more likely to gain weight, however, the arguer provides no assurance to demonstrate that the survey result is statistically reliable. It is fairly possible that the survey was based on a small population and even the respondents are scarce. Without providing any evidence concerning the survey and statistical figure the arguer cannot build any conclusion between the snoring and weight gaining 这一段除了第一句全部是摸版句，没有什么好说的，但是我觉得出现文章中的内容相关的句子比较好。不然就是举一些ALTERNATIVES不然看起来很空洞。Even assuming that the survey is reliable, we still cannot construct a causal relationship between the snoring and weight gaining. The arguer hastily comes to this overgeneralization without considering other possible reasons. It is possible that some other factors as eating too much fat, taking limited exercises, or even genetic factor all that can lead to a physical obesity. 这一句很好。A correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to prove such a relationship.这种被用烂的模板句，不是实在没有办法就不要用了。 Without establishing a reliable can convincing relationship between the snoring and weight gaining, the conclusion is unwarranted as it stands.

Furthermore, the interruption of breathing (sleep apnea) can leave the person tired during the day is another unwarranted conclusion. The arguer ignores some fundamental factors that can result in tiredness such as working and studying pressure. Even if the sleep apnea can lead to the tiredness, the arguer still cannot suggest that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less and take more exercises. Common sense tell me that a limited amount of diet does not mean that it can prevent of getting weight, a person can easily gain weight even though he or she eats less than others for the reason that he or she has a healthy digestive system.这样你已经偏了，驳斥不直接，和你前面那句annot suggest that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less and take more exercises是断开的。不如说，有可能打呼的人本来就锻炼很多，或者本来就吃得很少，或者是本来就身体不好，盲目吃少和锻炼会影响健康。都比你现在这句感觉好。但是你目前得这句其实在反对常识，常识就是吃少＋锻炼可以减肥，周围得女生都是用这种方法来减肥的，完全可以有更好的理由去反驳。Yet, without any evidence to bolster his assertion, the speaker’s advice is not persuasive as it presents.

Finally, the arguer fails to take other possible reason in to consider in determining the shoring and sleep apnea. A light mood and a healthy diet can lead to a fine physical condition during sleep. In order to eliminate the tiredness people have to take exercises appropriately and continually at a fixed time every day. 一段只有两句话，不能构成一个完整有力的驳斥。况且你这两句话本身就可以做题目去驳斥了。用没有证据的假设去作为反驳的论据是无力的。2，我有点看不懂你这段反驳的是什么逻辑错误。3你的两句话已经离开了题目讨论的范围。
开头和结尾我不说了，我的意见只是个人意见。你可以参考
我觉得你的驳斥在事实和细节上还需要下功夫，不要用那么多套话，多看看6分范文。
In conclusion, the advices of the arguer is well presented but ill supported. To better bolster his assertion, the arguer has to provide some evidence concerning the relationship between the snoring and the weight gaining. To evaluate his suggestion, I need more reasonable information about rational factor of the sleep apnea and the physical tiredness.

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

非常感谢 灰原

g_tUID: 2115223

In this argument, the speaker suggests that anyone who snores should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more. To better bolster this assertion, the arguer points out that people who snores are more likely to gain weight than those who do not snores as well as that the interruption of breathing wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day.(感觉as well as以后有点故意加长句子，不如截成两句吧。) This assertion is well presented but not reasonably proved in that it is flawed in several respects beneath.

First of all, the arguer cites a survey in showing that people who snores are more likely to gain weight, however, the arguer provides no assurance to demonstrate that the survey result is statistically reliable. It is fairly possible that the survey was based on a small population and even the respondents are scarce. Without providing any evidence concerning the survey and statistical figure the arguer cannot build any conclusion between the snoring and weight gaining.

Even assuming that the survey is reliable, we still cannot construct a causal relationship between the snoring and weight gaining. The arguer hastily comes to this overgeneralization without considering other possible reasons. It is possible that some other factors（such） as eating too much fat, taking limited exercises, or even genetic factor all that can lead to a physical obesity. A correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to prove such a relationship. Without establishing a reliable can convincing relationship between the snoring and weight gaining, the conclusion is unwarranted as it stands.

Furthermore, the interruption of breathing (sleep apnea) can leave the person tired during the day is another unwarranted conclusion. The arguer ignores some fundamental factors that can result in tiredness such as working and studying pressure. Even if the sleep apnea can lead to the tiredness, the arguer still cannot suggest that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less and take more exercises. Common sense tell me that a limited amount of diet does not mean that it can prevent of getting weight, a person can easily gain weight even though he or she eats less than others for the reason that he or she has a healthy digestive system. Yet, without any evidence to bolster his assertion, the speaker’s advice is not persuasive as it presents.

Finally, the arguer fails to take other possible reason in to consider in determining the shoring and sleep apnea. A light mood and a healthy diet can lead to a fine physical condition during sleep. In order to eliminate the tiredness people have to take exercises appropriately and continually at a fixed time every day.

In conclusion, the advices of the arguer is well presented but ill supported. To better bolster his assertion, the arguer has to provide some evidence concerning the加上causal relationship between the snoring and the weight gaining. To evaluate his suggestion, I need more reasonable information about rational factor of the sleep apnea and the physical tiredness.

没写过这篇，姑且小改一下:)