Issue7 video camera与written records 诚待指教

跳跳糖UID：208368

Issue7
“The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.”

观点: 大负小正, 摄像机不能代替文字记录
提纲: 1. 摄像机确实有优点
     2. 摄像机是近几年才发明的, 对记录历史有局限
     3. 摄像机不能记录人的想法与思考

The video camera plays an important role of documenting lives today, but it can never take the place of written records. This is decided by the character of image records and the written records.

Admittedly, as technology develops more and more fast today, video camera provides a accurate and vivid method of documentation which ranging from large events to people’s everyday life. For example, many politic activities such as a president elect, a politician’s visit to other country can be recorded by video camera during the whole process. Needless to say, this kind of records is superior to written records from many aspects: the politician’s voice, face appearance when speaking is recorded down and the reflection of audiences or the politician he is speaking to. All of which is an important parts of a politic event. Moreover, this image records can transmitted to the people all over the word through satellites. On the other hand, there are more and more people use video camera to record their everyday lives or a travel. Trough this, they are able to see the young face, the details in their lives and the places they’ve visited before years later especially when they are old. In short, written records may provide descriptions from only one to two respects, but video camera is recording the whole scene.

However, limited by the character of the video camera, it can not succeed in documentation in many occasions.

Firstly, video camera is developed only in recent hundreds of years, documentation of the history of thousands of years before is largely depended on written records. For instance, China is a country of thousands years of history, during which words played a very important role. As time passes, the words are recorded on animal bones, bamboos, cloth, and eventually on papers. Through these words can the Chinese cultural handed down to today. After all, video camera’s history is short, but human history is much longer than it.

Secondly, although the image the video camera is recorded provides a vivid and overall scene, it is still limited to some extent. Documentation is not enough only with images but thoughts and views from several aspects is also important. In other words, videos are just objective records, but written records can provide subjective views. History recorded by words therefore is in-depth and systematic assembled with both objective descriptions and objective views from every aspect. Take the technology revolution for example, if all we know is at what time, where and how the revolution began, we only know little of the historical event. But if we read about the articles and even literature on this event, we tend to know more—the significant meaning of the historical event. In short, during different times people have different thoughts, documentation is not only recording event itself but the various thoughts of people in that times.

To sum up, video images is vivid and accurate but they can not take place of written records in documentation. It will be better to combine the two to serve for us.

platasUID：173358

语法错误：
documentation of the history of （with）
president elect（electing)

总的来说还是不错的，不过最后感觉议论的好像单薄了
见笑了

platasUID：173358

有机会帮我看看I17
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

跳跳糖UID：208368

谢谢哦,终于没惨遭遗弃.

可是那里为什么是with呢?

至于议论单薄,我也有感觉,唉,水平有限啊.而且我觉得我的结尾和开头总是不知怎么写,老是一个意思在重复.

你的文章有时间看!

lemontree02UID：2103534

The video camera plays an important role of documenting lives today, but it can never take the place of written records. This is decideddetermined by the charactercharacteristics of imageimagine records and the written records.

Admittedly, as technology develops more and more fast today, video camera provides a accurate and vivid method of documentation which ranging from large events to people’s everyday life. For example, many politic activities such as a president electelection, a politician’s visit to other country can be recorded by video camera during the whole process. Needless to say, this kind of records is superior to written records from many aspects: the politician’s voice, face appearance when speaking is recorded down and the reflection of audiences or the politician he is speaking to. All of which is an important parts of a politic event. 这一部分最好用对比的手法写出为什么video 要优于writingMoreover, this image records can transmitted to the people all over the word through satellitesat the time,. On the other hand, 这个短语用在这里感觉很突然，可以说not only in large event s , but also in daily livesthere are more and more people use video camera to record their everyday lives or a travel. Trough thisway, they are able to see the young face, the details in their lives and the places they’ve visited before years later especially when they are old. In short, written records may provide descriptions from only one to two respects, but video camera is recording the whole scene. 就本段的论述而言，这样的结论显得不够全面没有很好的概括前面的论述，摄像的优点不仅仅在于全程记录，还在于好用，直观。。。
However, limited by the charactercharacteristics of the video camera, it can not succeed in documentation in many occasions. 去掉前一句的of 词组，将it 改为video camera

Firstly, video camera is developed only in recent hundreds of years, documentation of the history of thousands of years before is largely depended on written records. For instance, China is a country of withthousands years of history, during which words played a very important role. As time passespassed by, the wordshistory arewere recorded on animal bones, bamboos, cloth, and eventually on papers. Through these words can the Chinese culturalbe handed down to todaytoday 是副词，前面不用介词，改为this day. After all, video camera’s history is short, but human history is much longer than it.

Secondly, although the image the video camera is recorded provides a vivid and overall scene, it is still limited to some extent.前一句话不是本段的ts，多余，可去掉 Documentation is not enough only with images but thoughts and views from several aspects is also important. In other words, videos are just objective records, but written records can provide subjective views. History recorded by words therefore is in-depth and systematic assembled with both objective descriptions and objective views from every aspect. Take the technology revolution for example, if all we know is at what time, where and how the revolution began, we only know little of the historical event. But if we read about the articles and even literature on this event, we tend to know more—the significant meaning of the historical event. In short, during different times people have different thoughts, documentation is not only recording event itself but the various thoughts of people in that times.［后半段是说如果只知道事件，我们知道很少，如果读书，我们就能知道事件的重大意义，觉得论述不够充分，其实可以多展开一点来论述］

To sum up, video images is vivid and accurate but they can not take place of written records in documentation. It will be better to combine the two to serve for us.［结尾只是对开头的简单重复，建议换一种说法，升华主题］［比如说although video has many merits and play a very important role in modern society but the writing records cannot be replaced considering the ability of transmitting the thoughts of the authors and …..］
总的来说，作者的论证结构很清晰，但是语言的错误挺多的，而且论证不是很有力，没有将例证与结论之间的因果关系说清楚可能是影响论证力度的原因
关于vedio的缺点有很多，比如需要记录和再现都需要机器阿。。。而至于不能记录历史，这不算是他的缺点吧，就好像指责一个人没有把出生前的事情做好一样________________________________________

跳跳糖UID：208368

悟出一点什么了

恩,第一段对比起来写会好些

video的缺点,我思路似乎放不开,现在有点启发,但觉得还欠缺点

要想论证有力似乎挺困难对我来说,深了写不了,浅了又会单薄.还有就是找恰当的例子了.

谢谢,能从别人眼里看自己的作文,总是有帮助的.我会努力.

AlexandraUID：185174

真遗憾，刚刚改了，发的时候，出了问题，全没了，又要重来:L

The video camera plays an important role of documenting lives today, but it can never take the place of written records. This is decided by the character of image records and the written records.[题目只是说了it has become a more important form of documentation than written records，可没有说要替代啊，楼主一下子，就跳到了替代？]

Admittedly, as technology develops more and more fast today, video camera provides a accurate and vivid method of documentation which ranging from large events to people’s everyday life. For example, many politic activities such as a president elect, a politician’s visit to other country can be recorded by video camera during the whole process. Needless to say, this kind of records is superior to written records from many aspects: the politician’s voice, face appearance when speaking is recorded down and the reflection of audiences or the politician he is speaking to. All of which is an important parts of a politic event. Moreover, this image records can transmitted to   [少了一个词吧？？] the people all over the word through satellites. On the other hand, there are more and more people use video camera to record their everyday lives or a travel. Trough this, they are able to see the young face, the details in their lives and the places they’ve visited before years later especially when they are old. In short, written records may provide descriptions from only one to two respects, but video camera is recording the whole scene.
有些散，还有浮。在句子表达上，没有指出实质的东西。

However, limited by the character of the video camera, it can not succeed in documentation in many occasions.

Firstly, video camera is developed only in recent hundreds of years, documentation of the history of thousands of years before is largely depended on written records. For instance, China is a country of thousands years of history, during which words played a very important role. As time passes, the words are recorded on animal bones, bamboos, cloth, and eventually on papers. Through these words can the Chinese cultural handed down to today. After all, video camera’s history is short, but human history is much longer than it.

Secondly, although the image the video camera [感觉 有问题] is recorded provides a vivid and overall scene, it is still limited to some extent. Documentation is not enough only with images but thoughts and views from several aspects is also important. In other words, videos are just objective records, but written records can provide subjective views. History recorded by words therefore is in-depth and systematic assembled with both objective descriptions and objective views from every aspect. Take the technology revolution for example, if all we know is at what time, where and how the revolution began, we only know little of the historical event. But if we read about the articles and even literature on this event, we tend to know more—the significant meaning of the historical event. In short, during different times people have different thoughts, documentation is not only recording event itself but the various thoughts of people in that times.

To sum up, video images is vivid and accurate but they can not take place of written records in documentation. It will be better to combine the two to serve for us.

在R 上 你的说法， 很好。但是 在C 上，你一直很压制它本来就有的优势。
你可以看看 我们组的HTPENG 的ISSUE7，他的概括性很强。
我在他的帖子上，也发表了我的看法，你去瞧瞧。